Little brother

Chapter 15: rest

Marks pov

I wake up in the same spot with jays face in my chest I move away from jay slowly and I get up I put a blanket over him and I leave the room I head downstairs "hey" jack said "did he go back to sleep okay?" alex asked "yeah pretty quickly he has not sleept for three days so he is tired" I said "alright and how you doin?" alex askes "im fine" I said "truth?" maddy askes "yes" I said "alright" alex says I play with my rings I go to the living room I lay down "what if jacks mom never left?" I thought to myself "what if jay will not wake up?" I thought to myself "nah he will but what if he wakes up one day and he just leaves me or we get divorced?" I thought to myself "maybe it is my fault that luke killed himself because I did not protect him and I was too woried about myself and its my fault that I wreck everything maybe I am a mistake and a freak" I thought to myself my mind is racing and it wont stop I need to clear my head I get up and I grab a pack of cigarettes from the counter I grab my hoodie and I leave the house I go to the side of the house to get my skateboard when I turn around I see alex "were are you going?" he askes "I dont know yet I--I just need to clear my head" I said lighting a cigarette "I can I come with?" he askes "whatever" I said I go faster than alex so im in frout of him my mind is going faster and faster. I go to my place when I hide from my dad I grab a bat that was on the ground and I smash one of the walls I feel someone grab my shoulder I turn around "woah easy mark its just me" alex says I step back putting my back aganst the wall "mark?" he askes I slide down the wall and I bring my knees to my chest I start to panic "mark its okay breath" he says I try but nothing works "mark look at me follow what I do" he said he takes a deep breath in and out I do the same I calm down a bit "mark what just happened?" he askes I just look at him then down at my knees "please tell me" he begs "my mind wont shut up" I mumbled he moves so he is sitting next to me he puts his arm around my shoulder and brings me closer to him "all you have to do is destract your self like play video games or just talk to people" he said "I know I just--" I said "I get it" he said "want to go home?" he askes "sure" I said we get up and we start to go home "I have a question" I said "what is it?" he askes "why does jay dont sleep a lot?" I asked "same as you his mind wont leave him alone till his body shuts down from being over used" he said "he sleeps better with you though" he said "I know" I said. We get home "hey where did you guys go?" maddy askes "oh we just went on a skateboard trip" alex said "alright" maddy says I leave to go upstairs to my room I see that jay is still sleeping I go over to him and I kiss his forehead "mhm" he said "where did you go?" he askes with a rough voice "just to get more cigerettes" I said I lay down next to him "still sleepy?" I asked "mhm" he said back "take that as a yes" I said "I love you" he mumbles "I love you too" I said "go back to sleep you need it" I said "mhm okay" he mumbles with in a few minutes he is asleep I start to drift off to sleep too. I wake up too someone shaking me "mhm" I said not openning my eyes "mark get up" they whispered "what?" I asked this time openning my eyes to see the person is jack "sorry to wake you but we need your help downstairs its alex" he whispers I get up from the bed "what happened to him?" I asked going down stairs "we dont know he just started rambling and he wont let anyone near him" he said "okay let me see what I can do" I said "he is in the kitchen" he said I go to the kitchen I stop when I see alex with his face in his knees and in a tight ball crying "move" I said to maddy she gets up and steps back to jack I put my hand on alexs arm he flinches and moves away from me "alex its me calm down its okay" I said "go---go away" he mumbles I bring him into a hug "get---get off of me" he said trying to get out of my grasp "alex calm down its me mark" I said "let---let me go" he studders I have never seen him this scared before I let go and I get up "where are you going?" maddy askes "to go get jay" I said "why?" jack askes "because this has happened before but this time its worse" I said "and what can jay do?" maddy askes "help he knows what to do better than I do alex trust jay way more than any of us" I said I go up to my room and I go to jay I shake him lightly "darling wake up" I said "mhm?" he says I kiss him he opens his eyes "what?" he said "its alex" I said he shoots up and goes down stairs to the kitchen "make way" jay says maddy and jack moves from alex jay gets down on his knees he touches alex and he flinches "alex its jay" he said rubbing alexs arm jay brings alex into a hug "let go" alex says panicking "shh its alright I got you" jay hums "whats wrong with him?" maddy askes with a worried look I look at jay he looks back at me and nods "alex was---kidnapped four years ago they abused him badly way worse than dad did" I said "shit" maddy says "yeah so he sometimes get these flash backs or dreams" I said jay nods his head towards me so I go to him "im s--scared" alex says "shh alex he is gone we wont hurt you ever again" I said "just breath and calm down" jay said I sit down on the other side of alex "he wont ever come back" I said hugging him "your--sure?" alex studders "yes he is dead we wont come back" jay said alex starts to close his eyes jay picks him up "is he okay?" maddy askes worriedly "he will be okay just tired" jay said I follow jay upstairs jay puts alex in his room and covers him up "thank you guys" alex mumbles "your welcomed brother" we both said I close the door behind us as we leave.