ITS ABOUT TIME ➤ Ponyboy Curtis

18

𝙿𝚘𝚗𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚎𝚕 𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚜
♫ - "Sweet Marie" by The Walters

    I woke up face down on my tear-stained pillow. It was eleven o'clock in the afternoon and I had fallen asleep crying. I tried to be as quiet as I could so the gang wouldn't hear and they wouldn't judge me like I thought they would but I still didn't want them to know. I knew that us greasers didn't cry unless they were hurt real bad, like Johnny was after he got jumped. Some of us never cried at all. Like Dally and Two- Bit and Tim Shepard—they forgot how at an early age. I wasn't ashamed of crying I was more so embarrassed. I knew I shouldn't have been shameful about crying because Georgia told me that it was okay for boys to cry.
   It's funny because Georgia was the reason I cried all night. I cried because I knew it was okay and I cried because I had lost her. It was my fault too which made things even the more painful.
   I hadn't anything to do so I figured I would go to the DX to visit Soda, Steve and Georgia. Stepping into the DX I spotted Georgia at the counter, putting on her uniform cap.
   "Hi Pone!" She greeted when I walked through the door.
   I grinned at her. "Hi Georgia."
    "What are you doing here?" Georgia asked
   She was wearing her work uniform—a royal blue button-up and a baseball cap she had just put on. Both had "DX" embroidered on them—and I couldn't help but look her up and down. I've said it before and I'll say it again, she's a real beauty.
   "Thought I stop by and visit ya." I stated as I walked around the counter. I took a seat on one of the stools that was kept behind there.
   "Thinking about me, were you?" Georgia teased.
   My face reddened and I gingerly scratched the back of my neck, having nothing to say in response.
   The air felt clearer and the room seemed lighter when Georgia giggled. "I'm only fooling around, Ponyboy." She said with a smile. "Did you and Darry talk? Is everything okay?"
   I was still soaking in the sunlight of Georgias voice but I quickly remembered the fight Darry and I had. "We're alright, he said he was sorry." I didn't feel like telling the whole story. It wasn't eventful and I didn't want to dwell on it.
   The night after he hit me, I ran to Georgia for comfort. Both her and Two-Bit told me that Darry was just worried about me. When I went home the next morning, Darry was sitting in the armchair waiting for me. He didn't notice I had walked in at first, but when he did, he was on his feet in a second. It reminded me of the night before. Darry's eyes were pleading. I simply looked at him. He swallowed and said in a husky voice, "Ponyboy..."
   I looked at my tennis shoes. I got nervous by just looking at him. "Ponyboy, I'm sorry." I heard him say. At first I didn't believe it—Darry isn't ever sorry for anything he does.
   "No you're not." I grumbled. I still hadn't looked up to face him. I was mad. I was also scared.
   He breathed in deep and huffed. Here we go again, I thought, he's gonna yell and I'm gonna run. "When you were late to come home last night...I was worried. I didn't know if you were in any type of trouble or if something happened to you." Darry started, taking a deep breath in before continuing. "You and Sodapop are the only family I got. I can't loose you guys. I didn't want to hit you, but I was scared when you didn't come home. I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry Ponyboy, I really am."
   That was when everything about me and Darry set in. I suddenly realized that Darry was only twenty, that he wasn't so much older that he couldn't feel scared or hurt and as lost as the rest of us. He had given up a lot for Soda and me. He could have thrown me in a boys home if he didn't care. Darry did care about me. He just didn't know how to show it.
   The next thing I knew I had him around the waist and was squeezing the daylights out of him. Darry was rubbing the back of my head softly. "No more fights. Okay, Ponyboy?" His voice was muffled.
    "Okay," I said. And I meant it. Darry and I would probably still have misunderstandings—we were too different not to— but no more fights.
   Georgia spoke and got my attention. I had been playing the whole thing over quickly in my head. "Did you forgive him?" She asked.
   "Yeah. Two-Bit was right about him only wanting the best for me."
    Georgia rolled her eyes. "Oh so we're gonna pretend like I wasn't the one who said it first?" Her blushed and full lips shifted to the side as a small smirk. She had her right hand on her hip and the other placed on the counter.
   I chuckled. I loved seeing her riled up, it was cute. Sometimes I would annoy her on purpose just to get her mad. "How's work going?" I asked.
   "Miserable, but what else is knew." Georgia leaned against the wall behind her. "I swear, if one more buck-toothed hood asks for my number, I'm gonna stick my head in a deep fryer."
   "Steve asked for you number?" I joked.
Georgias sweet laugh filled the room. "Awe don't be too mean, Ponyboy."
   I quipped another joke which Georgia didn't have the chance to respond too. The guy from the Nightly Double that she met, Phillip, strolled in.
   Jealousy filled me as he strutted up to Georgia cockily. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was wearing a smug grin. "Hi, Georgia."
    "Hey, Phillip." Georgia greeted him.
   "I came to ask you if you're coming to the party tonight." He placed his hands next to Georgia's and leaned forward across the counter, getting real close to her. "I wanna know if I should dress nicely or not."
    I thought it was real cocky of him to flaunt around and act like he was the hottest thing in town. The way he spoke bugged me—he was being so upfront and confident, like Georgia was something he could win. He thought he could win.
   Georgia giggled at his question. I frowned, the first time I wasn't happy to hear her laugh. "You can dress however you want." She said. "I'm not coming."
   A brief wave of relief rushed over me. I didn't want Georgia going to that party because I didn't want to see Georgia with any other guy but me, which might sound controlling. I just couldn't stand the thought of her not being my girl. It was what was made to happen. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else.
   Phillips face fell. "Well, why not? It's gonna be plenty of fun."
   I'm sure it will, I thought. Socs seemed to have a blast every day due to their lack of problems to worry about. Socs had so much spare time and money that they jumped us and each other for kicks, had beer blasts and river-bottom parties because they didn't know what else to do. They drove fancy cars and broke windows at fancy parties. Phillip was a Soc even thought he said he wasn't. He had that privilege like a Soc. He acted like a Soc too.
   "I'm not much of a party person." Said Georgia.
   I studied Phillip. His face was perfectly shaped and his hair was so blonde it was almost white. He was good looking and he knew it. I saw him give Georgia a look laced with greed. "That's a shame." He smirked.
    I turned my head to Georgia. My stomach churned. She was blushing. Georgia was blushing. The girl that I desired so strongly for was being whisked away in front of me. I felt so powerless, because I knew that Phillip was the type of guy to pine after something he wants until that something was his. He would get what he wanted so easily. He had that power and I didn't. I was just her greaser best friend who hadn't any power.
    I snapped. "Are you gonna buy anything?" I knew it was rude of me. I didn't care.
   Phillip looked at me for the first time since he walked in. He seemed surprised, like he didn't notice I was there. He probably thought I was too inferior to pay attention to. "I'll take a pack of cools." He said slowly and eyed me up and down. Surely he was trying to intimidate me.
    He glared at me when Georgia turned her back. His cocky smirk was back once she handing him the cigarettes
   He paid with two quarters and slid them to her on the counter. "Well since you're not gonna be at the party, why don't we get together sometime."
   My stomach felt empty and one of my knees wouldn't quit shaking. He was a Soc. He was no good. She was perfect. He was gonna break her.
    Georgias eyes went big. "Like a date?"
   "Obviously. I wanna take you out."
    I was anticipating the worst. She would agree to going out and her and Phillip would start dating and she would forget all about me because he had the power.
   I bit my bottom lip while waiting to hear Georgias response, and it broke me when I heard it. "Sure." She said.
   Phillip grinned. "Alright then! Why don't you meet me at Rusty's tomorrow at noon?"
   I felt like I was shot in the chest. I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. I was too focused on trying not to cry. Georgia wouldn't be there anymore. She would be whisked way by the Soc in shining armor and I would be left misunderstood.
   I was feeling so much sadness that I couldn't move until I felt Georgia looking at me. As soon as she turned to me I stood.  I couldn't have herzeing me like this. "I have to go." I said hurriedly. My voice quivered and I hurried out the door.
   The hot air hit me after opening the door. I was freezing and sweating at the same time.
I dragged my hands over my eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that had started pouring down my face.
   Soda came up to me while I walked past the garage. "Hey Pony, what's wrong?" He grabbed my shoulder and tried to turn me to face him.
   I didn't even think about slowing down. "I was too late." I faltered and continued my fast walking. I heard Steve asking Soda what I said as I started down the sidewalk. Normally I would think that was prying but I didn't have the time to get annoyed with Steve. My mind was filled with tornados of thoughts and feelings about Georgia.
   I wished that I had told her how I felt that day at the lot when it was raining. Georgia would have formed the same answer wether there was a tornado or a dust storm. I  should have just told her in the rain. I wished I had found out what her answer would've been if I told her how much I loved her. I needed to know. Now I never would.
   I rushed up the porch steps and into my room. Nobody was home and I was glad for that. If Darry saw how distraught I was then he would think something real bad happened. To me what happened was real bad—Georgia was my best friend. She made me feel less alone and not like some weirdo. Georgia and I were two of a kind, and with her gone I was left alone. I was now one of a kind, unique, an outsider. That ain't good—but Darry wouldn't understand that. Soda would understand if I told him, but I felt stupid talking about it. There were bigger problems in the word.
    I had stopped crying by the time I got home. I spent the rest of the day staring at the ceiling l dry-eyed and soaked in my misery until the gang arrived and Darry called for dinner. I didn't dare look up from my plate when I sat down at the table. Georgia was across from me and I just couldn't look at her. I thought I would start balling if I did.
    Dally swallowed a mouth full of mashed potatoes. "What's got you quiet?" He asked Georgia.
  Her fork scratched against her plate. "I got asked out today and I don't know how to feel about it." Georgia said.
   "Really? You?" Two-Bit laughed. I didn't like that she got asked out but I sure wasn't confused about it. Anyone with two working eyes could see that Georgia was something special.
    Georgia fired back, "Is it that surprising?"
   "By who?" Johnny spoke.
   "Yeah, by who?" Dally repeated.
   "The guy from the nightly double, Phillip. He came into the DX earlier today and said he wanted to hang out."
    "A guy like him wants more than that." I grumbled angrily under my breath.
   "Miss Georgias becoming a maneater, huh?" Dally chuckled. I didn't like how he found my heart being broken funny. It wasn't.
    Two-Bit stopped eating. He rarely does that willingly. "What's he planning on doing?"
   "He's taking me to Rusty's drive-in on the Ribbon at noon tomorrow."
    Steve laughed and Soda make a teasing comment. "Real classy. A drive-in is the definition of fine dining." He said.
    Steve said, "He must really like you." I didn't want believe that. Georgia deserved someone better. I wanted her to want me. But I knew she deserved someone better than me, too.
   Dallas chuckled. "Even I know that's a shit spot."
   "Yeah, I don't think it's the best." Georgia sighed.
    I tapped my fingers against my wooden chair. Then why'd you say yes, I thought. Why'd you have to break my heart? Wasn't it obvious that I was in love with you?
   Anger. It was shock, then sadness, then anger. Why would she brake my heart. Why couldn't she see how in love I was. Why did I have to fall in love with her.
   "Well at least you get a free lunch." Steve said seriously. I bet he would've loved to go on that date for her.
   "Make sure Phillip knows who you hang out with. If he try's to pull anything you let us know, alright?" said Sodapop.
   "Yeah, yeah, I know." Georgia laughed. I was gonna miss that laugh. I tortured myself by thinking about what I could've had and what I was gonna miss.
   Being in the same room with Georgia and hearing her honey-like laugh was painful. I couldn't take it anymore, and I went outside for a smoke suddenly in the middle of dinner. Being in that house made me feel trapped. It was torture. I was hoping to avoid Georgia for the rest of the night. That failed because she followed me out. Please let me brake down in tears alone, I wanted to say.
    She sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" She swung her foot to kick me gently.
   "Nothing Georgia." I said flatly. My chest filled with air like a balloon about to pop.
   "Ponyboy.." Georgia said wearily "Did I do something wrong?"
    I didn't say anything. What she did wasn't wrong, I just wished she hadn't done it. I was being selfish but I couldn't help it. I wished she loved me. I just wanted her love.
  "Nothing can be fixed if you don't talk to me." She said.
   I took a drag of my cigarette in an attempt to calm down my rising anger. "I just think that this Phillip kid is bad news."
   Georgia sighed. "Oh, Pony.."
    I cut her off. "I know, I know, it's not my place to talk, but I don't want you going out with him tomorrow. Guys like him...they got a one-track mind."
   Our shoulders touched when Georgia shrugged. I wanted her to do it again. I wanted her to touch me. "Maybe you're right and maybe you're wrong, but I won't know unless I go. I just wanna experience things Pony, we always talk about how we want to experience things." She said.
    I took another long drag of my cigarette. "You're not gonna be experiencing anything good." I grumbled. That cigarette wasn't doing anything. No nicotine could cover up heartbreak. Nothing could. That was part of the reason why I was mad—Nothing could stop me from hurting and nothing could stop Georgia from seeing Phillip. She was gonna go and I couldn't do anything about it. Phillip wasn't going to appreciate Georgia and he wasn't going to treat her the way she deserved. I couldn't do anything. I was powerless.
   We sat in silence and I felt Georgia's gorgeous eyes burn holes in my face. I didn't have to look to know that  they were gorgeous. I had stared into them so much before that they carved themselves into my memory and heart. "Y'know you don't have a say in who I date, right?" I heard the edge in her voice.
   I snapped my head to look at her. "Oh, so now you're dating Phillip?" She couldn't be serious. She only met him a few days ago. I've known her for what seemed like forever. Why didn't she say we were dating? Why wasn't I good enough?
   Georgia's jaw clenched. "That's not what I meant, Ponyboy. I'm just hanging out with him. I hang out with you all the time, what's the big deal?"
   "I don't trust him. He won't care about you like I-" The words slipped from my mouth. "He just won't care about you. I know his type, Georgia. They're no good." I knew what I was doing was wrong—trying to talk her out of going on a date and getting in her business—but I also knew that Georgia should be with a guy better than Phillip. She was the most perfect person in the world. Some mortal like Phillip couldn't date an goddess like Georgia.
    Her eyebrows scrunched together. "You don't have to trust him Ponyboy, it's my decision." Her voice shook with anger. I didn't say a word. I knew she was right.
    It was her decision and that's what upset me. Georgia was gonna do what she wanted and I couldn't stop her. I didn't think I should, but I sure did want to. I could've been struck by lightning and it still wouldn't compare to the pain of seeing the girl that you're deeply in love with settle for another guy.
   Georgia huffed. "Ponyboy!" She cried when I didn't say anything. I didn't want to speak. I knew that I was being dumb and I couldn't pretend to be happy for her. I was in love with her. She didn't love me.
    Georgia scoffed at my lack of response. "Oh, so you're not gonna talk to me all because I want to hang out with a guy? You're not gonna talk, you're not gonna spend time with me?"
    I couldn't do it to myself. I couldn't watch Georgia love someone else. "I don't want to spend time with you if you're gonna be dating a guy like Phillip." Lying to Georgia broke me—Of course I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to spend all my time with her. I wanted her to be with her every day. I just wanted her. I was in love with her and I couldn't tell her that now. It was too late.
   Georgia huffed and stood up. "I can't believe you right now. You're acting like a real dickhead."
   I got up as well. "I am not! Don't call me that when I'm just trying to warn you." That was also a lie. I was being a dickhead and I knew it.
   "I can do whatever I want, Ponyboy. You seem to have a hard time understanding that!"
Her voice was bitter and cold. The volume increased nearing the end.
   "Alright then, fine!" I threw my hands up.  "Have fun tomorrow with your new boyfriend."
   Georgia looked like she was gonna cry. I probably did too. "Oh, I will!" She yelled.
   I couldn't watch her walk across the street and leave me, so as soon as she yelled I opened my front door and stormed past the gang trying to interrogate me. I slammed my bedroom door closed, something Darry would normally yell at me for, and cried.
  Regret. It was shock, then sadness, then anger, then regret. I regretted every word I had said to Georgia. I didn't actually want her to go, I loved her. I loved her so much that I could die. I was just so jealous that it came off as anger and I couldn't help myself from saying anything to cover up the truth. I didn't want to make her mad but I had to save myself. Seeing her go would push me over the edge.
   She didn't love me, and that's what bugged me. Its not that her going on a date was the problem, it wasn't. It was that she was going on the date because she didn't love me and I couldn't deal with that. That's when the crying tired me. I was still crying as I drifted to sleep.