TYFBT

Chapter 45 - What Truth (4)

"...Ah."

Lepis barely spoke the first word. He staggered towards me as he couldn't hide his trembling body. He looked like he was about to cry.

"I...I was wrong."

What?

I didn't mean to die though I gazed up at him with a blank look. Anyway, the end of this story was getting closer and closer. It was time to pretend I was going crazy.

Really, do I still think this is fiction...?

I ignored the question in my heart. At this point, I didn't know if I was pretending to be crazy or if I was really going crazy.

"It was, all... My wrong."

I looked up at him

"The falsification of documents... When the crimes that did not exist, got increased instead... Forcing you. Confessing my love to you with a selfish heart..."

I lowered my gaze. It wasn't his fault.

"I... was...wrong."

He knelt before me and slowly leaned towards me as he put his head in front of me. Lepis' pure white shirt was drenched in blood as if it was corroding his despair. I stared at him without saying a word for a long time.

Lepis' transparent tears wet the floor. He was crying

...I couldn't understand why he acted like a sinner.

"Why are you like this now? Ignore me, despise me, it's your specialty."

"...."

"Are you feeling guilty? Or, are you sorry that you loved me now?"

"...."

"Are you loving me to relieve your guilt?"

I despised Lepis' desperate apology. I thought he wasn't serious. I thought it was just an apology to win my heart... This wasn't just a feeling for Lepis. All of their sincere apologies or sympathy towards me were offensive.

As I glanced at the dripping blood, I lowered my head at the bitter disgust that was creeping up.

Acacia's neglect was also a sin. It was also a sin to use force to destroy a country for no reason. It was also a sin for Lepis to manipulate the destruction of the Sorano Kingdom, and it was also a sin to try to kill Arne by contract.

Originally, they did not apologize to Arne.

Ah, maybe it was because I was the only bad person here... Was I the only one who was a terrible person, so this feeling came from it? They reflected on what they did to Arne and apologized because they didn't want to apologize to her.

The more I realized that this was still the case, the less I felt guilty about Arne and the stronger I felt for myself in this situation where no one knew me.

...Because I'm a bad person.

It was all in the past, it was all gone. They used to be like that...

Those who ignored the suffering of others.

They were people similar to me in a sense, enjoying Arne's pain. However, it was humorous and ridiculous to come and apologize now. It was irritating. It felt like they were pretending to be nice, and I thought it was fake. It felt like hypocrisy.

However, I couldn't face it properly or avoid it.

'...Now, when I see them apologizing, I feel like I should be sorry for them.'

The relationship of being used and using was good. If they wanted to feel less guilty, I could fully use them and take advantage of them. Nonetheless, I couldn't even do anything with the sense of reality I had now.