RAKUYOU 落葉

six

୧ ‧₊˚ 🌑 ⋅

" seriously y/n? running off with some damn thugs so i have to pick you up from the police station? are you kidding me? " your mom hadn't let up her relentless scolding since she picked you up, the leather from her car sticky under your legs. it was 3 am and the street lamps shined a gold color and passed inside your car and left as your mom drove down the rode.

a strong furrow to her brow and a strong grip on the steering wheel which had her knuckles turning a lighter shade of brown, told you everything you needed to know.

" im sorry ma— "

" save it. i just had to go out of my way after a long ass shift.  im tired y'know that? had me going into that damn police station lookin a mess. for two weeks, you not going anywhere besides school, you hear me? "

and she was serious, for two whole weeks your life was spent at school and at home. and it was torture. sure, you got to see your friends at school but it still sucked. especially how you hadn't seen souya since that night. that night you tried to push to the back of your thoughts but the more you did the guiltier you felt. as if you were trying to rid nahoya from your memory. but the way the color faded from his peach eyes as the smile etched onto his face stayed prominent. you knew that if you weren't able to get that imagery from your head, how was souya? how could he forget?

you especially thought about it in school, as you listened to your teacher go on and on about romeo and juliet and how 'tragic' it is. something that sounded like,

" now class i want you to think about this, when tybalt came looking for a fight with romeo. but romeo isn't there, its mercutio who tybalt runs into! " she walked around the classroom gesturing as she continued. " mercutio, trying to save romeo decides to fight tybalt. and its who he was trying to save that ends up being the thing that kills him. isn't that interesting? and after romeo then slays tybalt to gain revenge for his friend. yet after it is all done, he doesn't feel satisfied as he claims he is fortunes fool. "

you roll your eyes as you scribble down two sets of notes, trying to make sense of whatever nonsense your teacher was blabbing about. you just needed to make sure you can get these notes down for the both of you.

...

after a long conversation about nahoya, school and how you're adjusting two weeks after, you're finally able to treck through the familiar house towards souyas room. an annoyingly deep pit forms and aches in your stomach with each step you take on the stairs. each one letting out a particularly creek.

when it finally came down to you knocking on his door you froze. your feet remained planted on the dark wood floor while your clenched fist— ready to knock— remained unmoving from in front the door. you were scared, or nervous, what if souya didn't want to see you or be around you? what if he blamed you for the death of nahoya? you closed your eyes taking in a deep breath, your shoulders moving up then down as you exhaled.

you knocked twice. the sound hung around your ears as nothing but a slow silence followed. you sighed ready to walk away and just leave the homework but then the sound of the door unlocking alerted you. as soon as the door opened a foul smell filled your nostrils and you suppressed the urge to cringe at the stench.

" souya? " you have no idea why it came out like a question, you knew it was souya. no matter if his once voluminous curls were matted and no longer smelt of honey and coconut. he blinked at you before humming and moving out the way to let you in.

his room was a mess, clothes sprinkled all over the place with scattering piles of some that were no bigger than your average ant mounds. and speaking of ants, you probably saw a few crawling around. his desk and night tables filled with used cups and plates, white fluffy mold filling them rather than food. the bed was filled with crumbs and stains that varied in a mass of different colors.

you sat down on the bed, placing your book bag on the floor, feeling the ache on your shoulders fade from the extra weight of his notes along your own. the bed sinks under you and souya as well when he sits down.

you look at him. his scars have healed but he still looks...rough? if thats a good word for it. his once pink lips looked chapped and white as skin peeled from them, and a mustache appeared on opposite sides of his mouth, the hairs blue just like on his head. his eyes meet yours and they look more black than the light blue they once were. you looked down at your skirt clad lap, tugging at the small piece of flesh that hung from your thumb.

" you haven't been coming to school. " you murmur, but it feels louder than it actually is due to how quiet the room is. not even the ac was blowing to tackle on the uncomfortable humidity.

" i haven't. "

" your mom is worried... " you look up at him and your eyes meet before his gaze is casted at the floor.

" i know "

" you should speak to her. "

" i should. " his voice wavers at the statement, his shoulders shaking wildly as his lips tremble. he looks at you again and you finally see the crystalized tears he's been holding back from you.

" i— i miss you. " he says between sobs that was muffled as his hands come up and aggressively rub at his tears.

" fuck! i can't fucking... " he shouts and his voice dies down with his next words. " i can't fucking do this shit anymore. its been two damn weeks and... and i miss nahoya and i miss everything being fucking normal but i just cant— " he's cut off as more tears flow down his face, snot leaks from his nose and falls down to his chin and mixes with the other salty clear substance.

" it will go back to normal souya, i promise. " your thumbs rub away at the tears and cradle his face in your hands. he sniffles, a lacking attempt at stopping anymore snot from falling.

" no! nonononono! fuck! it wont fucking be the same! it wont, it wont! don't you understand? nahoyas dead all because of some stupid fight that didn't need to happen in the first place! " he shakes his head back and forth pulling away from you and cowering into his hands, his body trembling.

" souya... " you say, rubbing his back softly.

" i wanna help you, i can't stand seeing you like this. nahoya wouldn't want to see you like this either. he would want you to go out, have fun. not wallow in sadness... i want you to be happy and i bet he does too. "

he sat up slowly. his eyes locking with yours once again, his slightly red from the crying. his breaths were heavy and his chest rose and fell with each one. after a while he nods and wipes away the excess snot.

" yeah... ok. yeah. i need to... i need to get back out there. " he looked back at you, a small smile now present on his face that you reciprocated. he leaned in arms spread wide inviting you for a hug that you accepted. you felt him breathe you in and welcome you back into his life.

" thank you baby. " he mumbled against you, his breath fanning on your neck.

" anytime souya. " and you meant it. anytime he needed your help, you would be ready to help him out, and build him back up. because he was yours.

" i love you. "

your souya kawata.

" i love you more, souya. "