In Waves | ✔️

04 | swimming deeper

Ah, the first day of school after summer break - chaotic madness.

A mess of little groups finding each other and hugging and laughing, showing off new phones or hairstyles or suntans. That familiar smell of whatever god-awful vinegary concoction the janitor mixed up to scrub the linoleum hallways into shiny canvasses, waiting to be scuffed up within hours.

It's the same every year, but with an undeniably different feel this time around. The biggest difference being that there's currently a frenzied swarm of butterflies plaguing my stomach in anticipation of seeing Matt. My insides are so suspended in a permanent trampoline jump that I barely hear Rob's "later" as he disappears into a cluster of students.

Principal Decker's annual Welcome Back assembly will start in the auditorium in a few minutes, but I think I might explode if I don't see Matt first.

I'm aggressively tugging down my shirt and regretting wearing something this tight when I turn a corner and see him. Standing on the other end of the hall and chatting with a group of friends, popular friends I'm way too intimidated by to intrude on. But they don't matter right now.

I'm only seeing his gorgeous face and killer smile. And my shirt seems to be shrinking even more because I feel like it's making my lungs constrict just by looking at him.

Everyone else in the hallway is blurred. I'm mentally urging him to see me so that I don't have to lift the blur and acknowledge them yet, and he does. Matt finishes saying something, his smile pausing when we lock eyes and I combust on the spot. So far away, but the sparkle of blue pierces me and keeps me pinned down. Can I even walk without collapsing on my jelly legs? 

Apparently I can walk just fine, because I'm pulled in the opposite direction within five seconds, and the scent of Rachel's jasmine perfume engulfs me.

I stumble along as she loops her arm through mine, heading in the direction of the auditorium and totally oblivious to what I'm straining to look back at. "How exciting is this? We're finally over the Halfway Hump!"

I give up on my neck craning. "The halfway huh?"

"You know, the Halfway Hump! First two years of high school are done, and now we're at the top with the big dogs. Well, almost at the top. But we're on the other side of the hump."

I grimace. "Stop saying that word."

"What word?" She tugs me closer as we walk, leaning right next to my ear. "Hummmp?"

I laugh and push her face away.

We file into the bustling auditorium and I instinctively make a beeline for the front section of rows, until Rachel stops and guides me higher up to where the rest of the juniors are finding seats. Right - seniors at the top, freshmen at the bottom. Hierarchy applies to everything in this school.

"Bad Dubs?" Rachel suggests as she crosses her legs and smooths out her mini skirt. It borders on breaking school dress codes, but the teachers usually turn a blind eye unless outfits blatantly cross lines.

"Ooh yes! Who?"

We both scan through the rows in search of a target. Bad Dubs is a game we play to pass time. It's simple: find two people in a theatrical conversation you can't hear and dub over what they're really saying. Stupid, but fun.

"Oh! Sean and Simone!" she says, pointing to them in the row ahead of us.

Our grade's on again/off again couple. They're either arguing or have their hands all over each other. There's no in between. Sean Conners also happens to be the only boy I've ever kissed. I didn't even like him, really. I was just desperate to kiss someone, and I think he was too.