In Waves | ✔️

39 | just friends

I don't think I've ever felt like things are going too well in life. Most of the time, life is okay. I go through the motions, there's ups and downs and good days and bad days, but the string of good days I've had is starting to put me on edge.

Taking the next step with Matt flew me higher than the clouds. I look like the same person but I feel changed, and I feel our relationship shifting in all the right ways. But being this high is hazardous. Like, something has to go wrong soon, right?

It seems inevitable - the calm before the storm. And if a destructive storm came in the shape and form of a person, it would be Jay Carter.

I've been waiting for him to make his move and ruin everything. The video he blackmailed me with is long gone, but he could still tell Matt about it. He could be the little devil on his shoulder, whispering doubts in his ear about me. He could show him my underwear and spin a story about how it came into his possession. He could do so much, but so far, that 'much' has amounted to a big pile of nothing.

And it seems too good to be true. But maybe I'm being paranoid. Carter has been civil since that day he showed me the video. As civil as someone like Jay Carter can be, anyway.

If he wasn't then Matt would set him straight, and maybe rocking the boat just isn't worth it for him. At least I have some peace of mind about how much Matt will tell him about our relationship.

It's no secret that guys talk about girls and sex to their friends, but after the rocky start with the incident at Rachel's party, Matt would never go into those drive-in movie details with Carter.

In a messed up way, it's a silver lining of that incident happening.

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Oceanview never gets as cold as I want, but as we've rolled into autumn and the temperature has dropped ever so slightly, I tend to get overly excited for these colder days. Even crunching over the orange leaves speckling the front yard gives me a jitter of delight.

As I walk through the front door and set my backpack down, I've already decided that I'm going straight into the kitchen to make an apple pie. Matt and Rachel are at an away game, so this is the first time in a while I won't be in the stands tonight, and I'm kind of relieved for this quiet night in. Just me and my baking and—

I jump from the boom of laughter as I come into the living room. So much for quiet.

Rob, Nate, Ollie, and Blake are sprawled out on the couches playing a video game. They've become addicted this one lately, whatever it is. Some loud action thing. If they're not at the beach or school, they're switching between houses to play it.

I guess it's Rob's turn to host, and if it's keeping him from going out and getting puke-level drunk or hooking up with random girls, then thank god for video games.

They greet me with distraction as I cut through to the kitchen and get baking. Once the dough is chilling in the fridge and the syrup done, I start peeling the apples.

I'm on my fourth one when Nate meanders in, loosely pointing to the cabinets. "Chips?"

"Pantry," I say, nodding to the doors.

He rifles around and rips open a bag, popping a chip in his mouth as he glances over the island. "What're you making?"

"Apple pie."

"Nice. One of my favorites." He loops around, past the arch to the living room to hop onto a stool opposite me. "Any special occasion?"

"Just feels like an apple pie sort of day."