Aralas Oneshots

Rejection (part 2)

It was autumn. Not a rainy and grey autumn, but a sunny and warm and happy autumn that smelled of fruits and berries. Legolas felt his horse move under him, as he rode through the forest nearing Rivendell and tried to relax. It was almost the same time as he had arrived more than five years ago.

Then, he hadn´t been able to leave because of winter, now, he possibly couldn´t leave either, because of war. He tried not to think about it, the last time that was. The upcoming war he thought about a lot, as it helped him get his mind off that unfortunate moment that had cast his life in shadow and pain.

Suddenly the forest cleared and the elf got a view of the beautiful city of Imladris. Not much had changed since he had been here last. With a feeling of both relief and anxiety he sped up his horse and made it into the courtyard of the palace. He would visit Lord Elrond right away, he thought, to convey his message, and then take to his room to rest. And hide.

He had felt so stupid on that bridge. So young and naïve, even though he was over 2000 years old. And humiliated. So he had left and tried to never think about that moment again. But it hadn´t been easy, and after a few months he had understood that it wouldn´t work. He knew now, that he was different from the other elves. From other men in general. And he had accepted it. Told he had no one, of course. His father wouldn´t find it fit for a prince and he didn´t want to be exposed to public ridicule. But he had accepted it and he felt fine. He even liked it sometimes, that he had this secret knowledge about himself, that nobody else had. It made himself powerful somehow.

Legolas strode through the long corridors of the palace in search of the throne room, where he knew, Elrond would be. There was a lot of bustling about the place, and he assumed a lot of other messengers had also already arrived. So he didn´t look up when he bumped into a person as he rounded a corner, just said:

“Sorry, I didn´t watch out.”

“Is it you?”, a deep gentle voice asked.

Legolas looked up in shock. It was him, Aragorn. The elf was not prepared for this meeting, even though he knew it would come. He just had thought it would be a bit later.

“Uh … I´m sorry”, he repeated, stupidly.

“Don´t worry, you didn´t hurt me, Legolas. You elves are not that heavy, you know?”, Aragorn said with a smile. “I wondered if you would come.”

“Why?”, Legolas wanted to know. He didn´t really know what to say, so he just tried to make easy conversation.

“Maybe your father wanted to send another messenger.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Maybe he seemed fit to think so”, Aragorn responded, but looked away.

“But why?”

“You ask a lot of questions, do you know that?”, the man said and looked at Legolas again. “And if you really want to know, I thought you maybe didn´t want to come back here.”

“Wh … oh”, Legolas said as he realised. He had been so preoccupied to not break out in panic at the sight of the man, that he had missed the real content of the conversation they were just having. “I … well no, I didn´t mind. Coming back, you know.”

“I can see that. And I´m glad. Because I want to apologize, Legolas. And talk to you. “

Legolas opened his mouth and stared. He hadn´t been expecting this.

“Would you mind following me for just a bit?”, Aragorn asked.

Legolas nodded slowly, and then followed Aragorn, as he walked a little further along the corridor and then into a room at the side of it.

If you want to be happy, continue reading here:

Aragorn closed the door and turned to face Legolas.

“Look, I´m coming straight to the point to make you feel less uncomfortable”, he started.

“I´m not…”, Legolas answered, but was interrupted by the man.

“You are, but just listen to me for a moment”, Aragorn said. “I´m really sorry for how I reacted when you kissed me and I hope you forgive me. I was just very surprised and didn´t know what I was supposed to be feeling. Because you see, I wished you would never stop, but then I felt guilty and disgusted by myself and rejected you. I thought I was in love with Arwen, I really did, so I was very confused by this strange feeling. And when you left, I felt so guilty about having hurt you. But it also gave me time to figure some things out. It took some time, but now I´m sure.”

He paused and took a deep breath.

“I can love you, Legolas. If you´ll let me.”

There was a short silence and neither of them moved or spoke. They just stared at each other.

“I will”, Legolas then whispered. “Of course I will.”

And this time, Aragorn didn´t push him away.

If you want to be sad, continue reading here:

Aragorn closed the door. He took a deep breath and turned around. But Legolas knew he didn´t want to hear what the man wanted to say to him. He could see in his eyes, that he would be hurt. Again.

“I´m sorry.”

“What for?”, Legolas asked.

“For being so rude to you when you kissed me”, Aragorn answered. “I know how much it hurts to not have your feelings reciprocated.”

Here it was. The pain was starting to spread through his body again, and he couldn´t stop it. Not, if he had to be reminded of it by the man in front of him. And he would hurt him again.

“You see…”, Aragorn started.

“Don´t say anything”, Legolas interrupted the man. “Please don´t. I know even so, what you are going to say.”

“But you don´t, Legolas. That´s why I want to tell you this. You see, for a moment, I thought I could reciprocate those feelings I know you had, or have, for me. And I wanted to. But then I realized I could never love you as much as you would love me. I even asked Lord Elrond about it, if I could change, you know. But he said I couldn´t, not if I hadn´t already done so. I love you Legolas, but as a friend, and I want you to know that. I wanted to love you as more, but I couldn´t, I can´t.”

Aragorn ended his explanation and clenched and unclenched his fists nervously while looking anywhere than at the elf opposite him.

Which was probably a good choice, because Legolas had been heartbroken once more, as he knew he would be. He had already known back on the bridge five years ago, and he had accepted it then. But now Aragorn had made him believe, that maybe it was different, and then he had shattered his hopes into pieces again. It would take longer to heal this time, Legolas was sure.

A single tear rolled down his cheek.

“I´m not mad at you”, he told Aragorn. “But I can´t be your friend. We´ll see each other again, but we´ll be brothers at arms. And if we win, I will go back to Mirkwood and forget you. And if we don´t, it won´t matter anyway. But I cannot let myself be deceived by a friendship that is always going to remind me of how much it hurts. Goodbye Aragorn.”

Then he walked to the door and opened it. But before he left, he cast one last glance into the room.
There Aragorn stood, head hanging and sniffling silently. But he didn´t turn to stop the elf. He knew it was for the best.

Legolas almost hoped they would lose the war. Because what he knew was that his feelings wouldn´t go away, and they would destroy him.

“I´ll die anyway”, he whispered to the now closed door.