Love Me More

Chapter 7

A|N

hey y'all

i don't usually put an authors note first, but i felt like i should remind y'all-

idk shit abt like murder cases and whatnot, so i'ma just pretend like it never happened ToT i apologize to anyone who loved Leon the best (i mean he was one of my favorites and y'all have no idea how much i didn't wanna write chapter 6)

but anyways!

i love y'all, hope y'all are doin great! also sorry for not posting in like 1,000,007 years. (also idk why but that's my fav number) i had an orchestra concert, then a sleepover, and then i got the stomach flu. plus school, and i was sick again today and MISSED MY LAST ORCHESTRA CONCERT WHICH WAS LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST PART OF MY FUCKING DAY

i might like orchestra more than i love softball, and that's sayin' something, because i fucking love softball

ANYHOO ONTO THE STORY

-Kylen Pov-

"Kylen, you have to get up."

I groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket farther over my head. "No, leave me alone!"

I heard a deep sigh and Rens footsteps pad against the carpet. Suddenly, the comforting weight of the blanket was gone. I shut my eyes against the blinding sunlight that followed. "Wha-?"

"Hup!" Ren grunted. I wailed in surprise as he lifted me off the bed and threw me over his shoulder. "C'mon, you emo motherfucker. We're talking - now."

I sighed in defeat as Ren plopped me against the couch. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me, crossing his arms and glaring. I glowered right back, leaning against the back of the couch. After a full minute, the annoyance in Rens eyes subsided and he ran a hand through his hair and let out a heavy exhale.

"It's been a whole month, Kylen. I know you're crestfallen over his death-"

"Murder," I spat. "Don't say 'death' like it was some sort of natural cause. It was a fucking maniac  who took a knife to Leons heart." My voice cracked and my tongue stumbled over the words, but I forced them out anyway. I could feel the broken pieces of my heart breaking once again, but I held my head high, gulped, and forced myself to finally face the truth.

"He was murdered...and I swear to God and Jesus and whoever the hell else is up there...I will find that son of a bitch and I will not have him sent to jail, I will have his head."

Ren flinched, and only then did I realize how I had voiced the words. They were cold and cruel, an ocean of venom pounding against a shore of vexation. But they were the truth. They were, and always would be, the truth. I would avenge Leons death if it was the last thing I would ever do, and if I do before I accomplish that, so help me God, I will find a way back down here and kill him.

By the time I had realized I'd said the last sentence aloud, it was too late. Ren had recoiled into himself, his arms braced protectively over his own body. A wave of regret washed over me when I remembered the last time I'd seen that look.

That terrified, broken look. A look that spoke of a thousand sorrows, mixed with ones greatest fear.

That was the look he'd given me every time he had ran away to my house in the middle of the night after his father had had another one of his alcoholic fits. The look he would give me as he would climb through my bedroom window and shake me awake. The look that, unbeknownst to the both of us, would soon be coupled with a line of bloody scars on his wrists.

The wrists that were now bulging with veins - because of me.

I dropped my hands into my lap and lowered my head, ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Ren. I didn't mean it. I know you've been through a lot, always have been through a lot, and I'm not making it any better."

Ren shook his head, and it was only when he stopped that I noticed the shaking of his hands against the stillness of his body.

"It isn't your fault. I understand you're still mourning. I'll..." He hesitated, and stood, turning his back on me. "I'm gonna go, um...leave you to  yourself..."

Before he could take another step, I threw myself off the couch and grabbed his hand. His entire body stiffened, every muscle suddenly becoming taught. 

I immediately let go, but I didn't shrink away. "Ren, please. Stay. Wallowing in my sorrows isn't going to help anyone - least of all you. So please, talk to me. About anything. Hell, I'm even up to talk about the size of your penis or some shit."

My joke went completely unnoticed. Ren turned to face me, head down, bangs covering his eyes. A soft lock of hair shifted into his face, and, on some crazy instinct, I pinched his chin between my thumb and forefinger, and before I could comprehend exactly what my body was doing, I tilted his head up and kissed him.

It was just a second. Another worthless second among millions, but I knew immediately it was the wrong thing to do.

There was nothing there. A simple peck against his lips. There was completely nothing except a millisecond of his breath mingling with mine. But before I even had the chance to pull away, I felt it. A wall of coldness thrown up between us. A glacier of...of an emotion I couldn't even place. It was something dark, like hate, but not hard enough to hurt. And yet, it did. It hurt more than I could describe.

Ren was suddenly miles apart, even though our faces were mere inches away.

The moment I separated from him, he took a full step back, turned, and walked numbly into his room. I shut my eyes at the same moment I heard his door slam. Sighing, I pulled myself onto the couch and groaned, dragging a hand down my face.

What have I done?

...

right guys. simple math here right now.

super lazy + super tired = super short.

bai.

Love y'all <3