Love Me More

Chapter 9

A/N

guys am so sorry for not posting in a million and seven years but i just want to thank you all for all the support you've given me <3

now enjoy the chapter it took me seven million years to start working on 

...

- Kylen's POV -

I groaned, waking up to a throbbing headache. My mouth tasted salty, and my face was stiff from the tears that ran down my face last night. I slit my eyes open and saw Ren's silhouette in the corner, leaning against a chair. At first, I didn't understand what was going on, couldn't remember why I was even crying last night. And then it all came rushing back.

I sat up quickly, my eyes widening as the memories flooded into my brain.

The suicide attempt, Ren's saving me, and me beating him and then fainting.

I stared at Ren, who glared right back, his body taut with nerves. His arms were crossed and his mouth was pulled into a thin line. His eyebrows were drawn together and he did not look happy. I covered my face with my hands.

"Oh, Ren," I moaned into my palms, "What have I done?"

Ren didn't answer, and his silence made me feel even worse, reminding me of the kiss he'd pulled away from. That made me pause. I looked back up at him. "Why?" I whispered, "After all that I did?"

This time, Ren answered, but it wasn't to my question. His voice was a volcano of fury. "What. The hell were you thinking Kylen!?"

I flinched, but he wasn't done.

"Do you know how hard it is to deal with Leon's death alone? Did you even think about how I would feel if you died? I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Kylen...I would've joined you guys eventually, and-"

"-That would've been better," I interrupted, "because this world is a shithole made up of a bunch of assholes. But up there, maybe we could finally be happy."

Ren's glare made my voice trail off, and I cringed away from him. "Don't you think I would've thought about that already?" Ren snapped. "But now I'm being selfish, too. Because think about Leon. Is that what he would've wanted?"

I waited a second before shamefully shaking my head.

"Exactly," he whispered. His glared faded until his face was an ocean of sadness. "Really, Kylen. I can't believe you. From now on, you're sleeping with me, because I can't trust you."

Hearing him say that both hurt me and made me want to laugh, but instead, I just stayed quiet and nodded again. Ren moved to stand up, but I stayed seated. He paused, then sighed and sat next to me on the bed. His hand reached slowly towards me, but he paused when I turned my head slightly away from him. He kept his hand in midair, and when I turned back, his index finger gently steered my gaze into his.

"Hey," he said softly, "it'll take me a while to forgive you, I'll admit, but you know I love you, right?"

Tears filled my eyes, and I nodded once again. His eyes searched my face, but he obviously didn't find what he wanted because he sighed again, dropped his hand, and left the room. As soon as the door closed, I curled up into a ball and cried.

...

aight i'ma cut it really super short bc my adhd ass has lost all motivation rn BUT

in maybe a few weeks i'll have a new story coming out called "A Royal Pain in the Ass" which is another gay one and i wanted y'alls opinion on whether or not i should include smut scenes? bc if y'all read this earlier, there was a smut chapter i deleted bc i hated it but if you want smut i'll try and learn it but lmk

mkay good bye darlings