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" hey, relax.. " sabi ko kay Sarah. . Nakatanggap ito ng tawag mula kay boss Vic at katatapos lang nilang mag usap sa phone. . Tinatanong lang naman sya kung anong plans nya for her 20th anniversay . .
" babe, ano gagawin ko? For sure, concert ang ibig sabihin ni boss sa tanong nya sa akin.. Paano ako mag co-concert ng live? I mean, kaya ko pa ba? May manonood pa ba? Gusto pa ba akong makita ng mga popsters na mag perform??" Rattled na tanong nito. . She was even biting her inner cheek, which is by the her habit sa tuwing kinakabahan sya..
I looked at her in disbelief. Like, hello baby, you can just stand up on the stage and us-your popsters will still love to see you live!! Yun ang gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanya.. but I know, she's really feeling nervous right now.. Gusto ko lang pagaanin ang feelings nya..
" lovey , look at me.. " i cupped her face and she's pouting! Ang cute lang talaga nitong asawa ko!! Sarap talaga i-kiss nang i-kiss!!
" ano. "
" i want you to be honest.. just tell me kung kelan mo gusto mag concert? This year? Or early next year? Or 2nd quarter- . Or if you don't want to.."
" takot ako ih! Ayaw ko muna isipin yung month or date - - kasi love, di ko talaga sure"
Hinila ko itong paupo sa kandungan ko. We're still inside our room. Dapat punta kaming clinic ngayon for our furbabies- - pero mukhang maka-cancel ito, unahin ko muna si misis..
" lovey.. what's bothering you?" I asked her. .
I saw how deep she inhaled. Saka ito lumabi..
" im afraid na wala na kong babalikan pa.. " she said quietly . . Humugot na naman ito ng malalim na hininga. Hindi na muna ako sumagot , bagkus ay gusto kong marinig ang sasabihin nya...
Im listening, . And im allowing her to talk , to express how she's feeling..
And then she continued..
... it's been years, since I last performed live.. and never akong naging active pa sa tv, or sa any social media platforms. Yung concert naman natin, at yung nagawa kong online concert before, naka taped yun, kaya kung may mali ako, naco-correct natin.. but this concert- - live ito.. and , and im afraid I wouldn't be able to last after few songs siguro.. natatakot ako love.. natatakot ako- -
" baby.." I combed her hair and i let my palm rested on her beautiful face.. "you have tried performing naman sa asap diba? Or you can go back to dance school and voice lessons, if you want to. And im telling you now, Walang sino man ang pwedeng pumilit sayo kung sa tingin mo ay hindi mo pa kaya . Or Kung ayaw mo na muna. . Maghihintay naman ang mga popsters sa araw na kaya mo na . -
" baka magsawa na sila kakahintay.. "
" sino? "
" mga popsters!!"
" hindi naman ako magsasawang mag hintay ah!"
" popster ka ba???" Nakatawang tanong nito..
" syempre! Number one fan mo ako nuh! Tsaka love, If ever na gusto mo nang mag concert, andito lang ako , suportado ka. . Kakayanin natin. Pero again, no pressure ok.. Tell us when you're ready.. and I want you to be not afraid to tell us if you don't want to.. " Tumango ito , saka inihilig ang mukha sa bandang leeg ko..
"I love you.. " she whispered..
" oh my baby.. I love you more.. "
" im sorry if eto na naman ako, doubting myself.. " she said. . "Pakiramdam ko kasi, hindi na ko maglalast ng ilang minuto sa stage. Ang bilis ko nang mahingal. Nahihirapan akong huminga.. "
