2. Fiddle-Leaf Fig

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FIVE HOURS UNTIL I SEE HIM... i look calm and collected however i am absolutely internally frazzled. Stop thinking of him.
Stop.
Stop.
STOP.

It doesn't, it wont, it hasn't stopped since he kissed my hand the first day of filming, since he told me why the sky is blue, since he danced with me playfully in-between takes. Everyone around us saw it and felt it so why didn't he?Was i too much for him? Or was i not enough?.
So many unanswered questions it is driving me insane.

'Black or white?' i hear faintly as i'm so zoned out on a plant in the corner of the room.
'Hm?' i come out of my gaze and look towards my stylist, Rosalie, who is holding up a pair of black heels and a pair of white, she smiles as she was aware of my fixation on the plant.
'Oh, erm, the white surely? it's a pink dress' the confusion is apparent on my face as she should know more about fashion choices than me.
'I'm fully aware Arabella, i just wanted to make sure you was still responding, you looked terribly intrigued in that fiddle-leaf fig over there' she laughs as she places the shoes back in the box.
'Oh right, sorry' i turn a bit red and take a swig of water and as i'm placing it down, my hand quivers and almost knocks the glass off the dressing table before Rosalie was able to catch it.

'Are you feeling okay?' she asks with concern looking over to the glass. I follow her gaze towards the glass, 'I am okay, just in my world i guess' i try to laugh it off but i think it's apparent she see's right through me.

'Look at me' she swivels my chair towards her and holds out her hands for me to latch onto.
'Your anxiety about this is all normal, your team, your friends, everyone in fact knows you're going to be brilliant. Just be you Bella, that's all they're asking for, make this a fun adventure, okay? Besides tonight is just a dinner, you can start your worrying tomorrow' she winks and touches my nose with her pointer finger, i take a deep breath to show her i'm taking her advice yet she doesn't know about the truth of what's plaguing my brain.

A FEW HOURS LATER... and my nerves have seemingly calmed down, my makeup is nearly done and i spritzed some rescue remedy under my tongue; everything will be okay. I am there for my beautiful friends and a nice dinner, as long as i keep telling myself that, i should be fine. Right?



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❤️ by india_amarteifio and 254,278 others
@arabellaedwards: dinner ready woo
view all comments

I step into the car to take me to the venue, the questions start to creep into my head again. What if he is simply busy and cannot attend? but he has to right? he is a main character, it would be rude not to, especially when invited by Shonda.

My phone vibrates and it's a text from my India.
'Are you close? I want to squeeze your hand!',
'So close, my hand is prepared for your squeezing :)' i respond and as it sends the car stops. We are here. We have arrived. Okay stay calm, it's okay.

I take a deep breathe and as i'm about to exhale i'm shaken by tapping on the window and the biggest smile, India. I thank the driver and step out and hug her so tightly, we only saw each other last week but she's been preparing for the press tour so the tight hug is necessary. I attended the premiere but only the red carpet due to my biggest burden of all time, anxiety. I didn't even get to see Corey the whole time i was there and by the 'whole time' i mean thirty minutes.

We walk hand in hand towards the restaurant accompanied by Arséma and Sam, my other two loves from the show. India looks at me and then my hand, i suddenly realise she feels my sweaty palm against hers as she furrows her eyebrows. She gives me a reassuring nod and i smile, screw my palms for giving me away.
We take our seats whilst we're greeted by Shonda and some more cast members. Oh shit, there are two spaces left that being for Corey and Freddie and the spare two seats are right next to me. Meaning i'll either have the joy of sitting next to Freddie or sitting next to.. him.
There's laughter and conversation starting to erupt between everyone and i'm nodding along as if i'm not staring anxiously at the door waiting for their arrival.

Immediately as if at all at the same time, everyone's gaze turns to behind me as they all smile, my heart sinks.

'What have we missed then?' his deep voice travels through my ears, i can hear the smile in his voice accompanied with a laugh from Freddie.

I turn around.













:)
a longish one to apologise for the shortness of the last one.

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