behind closed doors | corey mylchreest x female oc

8. Imposter Syndrome

p.s thank you so much for 600+ reads <3

WE CLEAR OFF FROM THE TABLE.. and his demeanour has completely changed. He's not talking nor does he look happy. I didn't mean to upset him. I watch him as he examines every painting we pass, we walk up to big canvas with a plaque in-front, he goes up and starts to read. I follow behind and go on my tiptoes to look over his shoulder, he turns his face slightly to his left towards me, slightly breathing on me. Our faces are so close yet so far. He clears his throat and focuses back onto the plaque. Corey, what are you doing to me?.

We continue to walks and admire these paintings and sculptures in silence. About 30 minutes pass of us just walking in silence when he received a text.

'Arabella, let's go back soon, i have some fittings to do' speaking as though he was saddened still.
I stand in-front of him forcing to look at me.
'Corey, what is on your mind in this specific second?' i ask focusing his sights onto me.
'Don't be weird cherry' he laughs and tries to continue walking.
I stand in-front.
'Arabella, cmon let's keep moving' he goes to walk again.
I stand in-front, again.
'Tell me, please' i plead.
'In this specific moment? why is this blonde girl in my way? hmm' he laughs and stands still.
I cross my arms, 'Seriously' i sigh looking deeper.
'Okay fine, yes i'm not the happiest but that's my own fault' he raises his eyebrows to make sure i understand what he's saying. I do, but surely to be sad about such things whilst in a relationship that just cannot be my business, i cant let it burden me as much.
We continue walking and walk towards the bikes, i forgot about those. We hop on.

As we're riding back in the bike lane, i can't help but feel bad for damaging his mood, i hope this awkward tension between us fizzles during this press tour. I'm scared, what if i slip up in-front of cameras, if i show too much of me. I just keep trying to remember what Rosalie told me to calm my nerves.
He signals to turn and we both turn making our way back to the bike rack and disperse of them. 'Thank you, the bike ride was a nice idea' i smile and walk on. I have absolutely no idea why we talk to each other as if we've just met, or as if we are acquaintances. How can we go from reading our favourite books together to speaking so formally, i hate it. I hate it. But i guess its better than nothing.

We arrive and head to the elevator, he pushes his button first, i guess the whole 'making sure i get to my door safely' only applies at certain times. 'I'll see you tomorrow cherry' he blunty says as he rushes to leave the elevator.
This boy will kill me. I need to let go. It's a need.
But i cant, not of those memories, not of those eyes. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

*Ding* My elevator arrives and i travel down the corridor and into my door. Another ding arises but it's from my phone. It's the itinerary for the next two weeks. I gleam as i see a photoshoot with Elle followed by a game of 'Most likely to' with India, Corey, Arséma and I. My first professional photoshoot for a fashion magazine; Pinch me. Imposter syndrome is coming in hot.

Luckily not much travelling is needed for tomorrow as the building is in London also. I'm so nervous yet exhilarated at the same time.
I'm not going to lie and say growing up in my family was easy nor was it hard, i was always grateful for everything good that came to me. Kept myself humble, i fear too humble and grounded as i forced myself to grow up quickly. I got told a lot that i should 'know better' even if the situation was with people the same age as me, why was i singled out?. I never knew what it meant to know better, isn't it a good thing for people to make mistakes so they know not repeat? I always had a different mindset to my mother and sisters. They never understood me growing up but i guess they didn't need to.

My anxiety worsened when i was nine; I hated school. Going to school was a chore to me, i despised that place with every inch of my being. I was constantly anxious that it ruined the experience for me. I strived for academic success and wanted it so badly yet i never tried to align with my expectations leading me into a darker place. I felt tired all the time. Mentally exhausted. Luckily for me; i found my escape being the Performing Arts. Going to school knowing i had a Drama lesson that day made it seem worth it, i was beyond interested. After school had finished i attended a Performing Arts Academy and studied for two years, best two years of my life. I was surrounded by people who were just like me and to anyone else that probably would've been a nightmare especially to my sisters, but i loved it. I grew into myself there.

After that i had a few years travelling, worked on some jobs here and there. Being an extra or a one-time actress. Small jobs, nothing big. Until my agent got me an audition for the Queen Charlotte project, it sounds cocky but i knew i had it when i left that room. I could tell, that sounds like such a big headed thing to say but i promise i could tell. It was a week later that my agent said i had a callback and so it happened and then after a chemistry read with India and as soon as the timer finished, i had the job. I loved Bridgerton and to work on a spin-off it was literally and still is a dream come true. Enough of the sappy stuff, i'm bored of that.

Dinner time arrives and i order some room service and put on the Tv, i wouldn't consider myself a lonely person but i do love alone time.

;)
sorry this is such a boring chapter i just wanted to have a bit of backstory for the character
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