𝐍𝒐𝐭 𝐅𝒐𝒓 𝐒𝐚𝒍𝐞 | 𝕰𝖓𝖍𝖞𝖕𝖊𝖓'𝖘 𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖍 𝕸𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗

69 | Being too United in the States

English - Bold Italics
Japanese- Italics

_____________________________________

When we made it to the States, it was calmer than we had expected and a part of me wanted all my flights to be delayed so that I can stroll into the airport without fans getting in my personal space. I waved at the few that were there as we walked passed and stopped for coffee when we sighted the first Starbucks at the airport.

Minyoung had been oddly cooperative and kept his distance which I should be grateful for but it felt super sketchy. The moment we got to the hotel, we were told that the boys were already at practice so we took a shower, changed, and went to the venue trying to fight off the jet lag.

"Oppa, can I use your shirt? I didn't bring any zip-up hoodies." I asked Jay when I got to his room

"Yeah let me check if I have them, if I don't you can steal some from Jungwon. He always has them." Thankfully, he found one and passed it over to me.

I was so glad I cut my hair if not I would have to put it up but I just let it flow especially since it was slightly wet and if I hadn't cut it my hair would've been so heavy.

We got into the car and drove to the venue getting food on the way. When we got there, the boys were on stage so we went straight to the green room and got our name tags as well as our mics and in-ears before going on stage.

"You made it!" Jake exclaimed making all of them turn around and give us hugs. The rest of the day was filled with practice and sound checks before we all made our way to dinner.

For the next few weeks, we were constantly on the road or rather plane. At a point, we started to slowly deteriorate due to us not having enough breaks in between each concert.

Our days started to merge together. On the days when we'd finish our concerts fairly early, we were barely able to eat because we had to go back to the hotel and pack, occasionally we'd set up the camera to go live and interact with fans but the boys had done that a lot more compared to me.

I would rarely show up and when I did, I was almost too tired to talk and I would snuggle into Jake or Heeseung whenever they were present as well.

Of course, some of the lives were borderline chaotic but most of them ended quietly and we'd stay up all night talking about random nothings until it was time to go to the airport and catch our flights. The plane was the only time we would sleep but landing at a new airport always made me anxious.

I love Engenes more than anything but sometimes when they show up at airports and when some of them try to get too close or it gets too crowded I find it hard to keep my thoughts from mixing up.

It got even worse when I started seeing the boys deteriorate due to stress and constant pain from moving and flying.

We had landed in Texas a few days ago and we had already performed so I found myself at the hotel's rooftop after the concert. Our producer just sent a few demo instrumentals for our new album and I was going through them while enjoying the way the cold nipped my skin.

One track stood out to me though, I couldn't stop humming it so I went back downstairs, got my laptop along with my notepad and headphones, made my way back to the rooftop and started playing around with the track.

a castle shaded from the sun
sensually-intimate scent despite withering
kiss the dead flowers
my kiss with a nice scent

Okay. let's rephrase that...

A castle without the sun
the scent is strong even if it fades
kiss the flowers that now lay dead
make them smell good with just my kiss