High School Me (DNF)

Chapter 11

It was over. 

I was on the plane, 3 hours into the 9 hour and 20 minute flight. 

My mom and sister was asleep in the row behind me. 

Lavender was back in Florida, rooming with a classmate. 

And I was awake, but I was numb. I had woken up that morning to my mom rushing around, telling me that the flight was in an hour and a half. 

I remember being upset that my night with Clay had ended. But he was a man of his word and got me home so that i could rest like he's said. 

I smiled shortly ay the thought of Clay, but the heartache overpowered my joy with the thought of him. I missed him, and I wish I could still be with him. 

I wished I could be with him. 

But he didnt deserve me, not when I was such a hidden mess. 

I sigh, turning to look out my window, trying to sleep through the pain and homesickness, but I couldn't. 

It was hopeless. 

When we arrived at our new house, I smiled a bit. This is where I would spend most of my time, I knew. 

I didnt have Lavender to help me watch Eve after school, and I already knew that I didnt want friends here. I wanted  my old ones. I wanted Clay. 

Upon walking inside, Eve was let down by my mother to explore the house. I went straight upstairs and picked a room to be mine, dumping my carry-on bags into it. Then I walked back downstairs, using the second half of the day to sort the boxes into their respective rooms. 

If I couldn't sleep, I would put myself to work and try and have a glimpse at usefulness. Just to have the idea that I was an asset in some form. 

England was very pretty; cloudy and cool with beautiful houses lining many of the streets. Quaint flats that were placed sparsely around the area and apartment buildings near the shops. 

I liked it and I felt at home, but I didnt want to. I wished this move wasn't the best for us so that I could have a more valid reason to stay with my friends in America. 

It was 8:49 in the evening and Mom and Eve had gone to bed on an inflateable mattress in the master bedroom downstairs. 

I'd skipped out on dinner, telling Mom that I would eat when I was done moving things, the guilt now being nonexistent as the falsehood flowed through my vocal cords into a song of lies that stretched over the expanse of months. 

I sat down on the couch that I'd just moved into the living room, exhausted to the point that I couldnt stand up without feeling faint. 

I checked my phone, seeing that my friends had texted me their wishes for my wellbeing. As I sent out responses and my appreciation, Clay texts me to call him. 

Not having anything to do in my state of deprivision, I oblige, putting my earbuds into my ears so I didnt wake my family. 

He accepts immediately, his warm and calm voice flowing through the speakers and making me relax immediately despite the fresh wave of longing that I endure. 

"Hey George." he near whispers. 

"Hi, why are you talking os quietly?" I say, a small smile gracing my lips. 

"Because it's 9 o' clock over there and you should be asleep by now due to the jet lag and the fact that I know you've been overworking yourself since you got there. You need sleep, George." he says. 

I scoff. "I can't sleep, though. I feel so out of place here, yet so at home. I havent talked since we got onto the plane and I havent slept in 16 hours, despite me feeling so tired. I feel lost and it hasn't been that long since I was home." I said quietly, hoping that Clay would understand. 

:"I understand. You're not going to want to talk about the move, so we can talk about something else. Do you have your laptop with you? We can watch a movie." Clay's soft voice was steady, offering the same sense of stability that he always protruded. 

"It's upstairs in my room. I can't go get it." I say, not really registering what I'm revealing. 

"Why can't you get it?" he asks. 

"Because if I get up I'll feel dizzy. See spots. Faint." I say. 

"George have you eaten today?" Clay asked, his voice remaining calm and consoling. 

"Yeah, I ate lunch." The lie was terrible. 

"George, you were on a flight during your flight and I know that your mother wouldn't buy airplane food for you guys after you got sick from it the first time you took a flight when you were two. Please don't lie to me. Please eat something." Clay said, sounding concerned. 

"I don't want to." I said. "Not hungry enough."

"Then drink some juice. Is your refrigerator unpacked?" he asked. 

"Yeah, I unpacked it before moving the couch." I say. 

"Go get some juice. Apple juice preferably. It has good vitamin C in it and a cup of it will make you full. Please George, for me." 

I nod, even though he can't see it and stumble to the fridge, grabbing a cup off of the counter next to the fridge and filling it up with apple juice a moment later. 

I chug it, wanting to sit down and talk to Clay about something else. 

By the time I'm done, I feel like I've just eaten a full meal and the guilt sets into my stomach, making me clutch it, a sob slipping through my lips. 

"What's wrong? Did you do it?" Clay asks. 

"I d-did. I f-feel g-guilty. I f-feel s-so f-f-full." I stutter. 

"Dont worry. You didnt eat anything, you drank juice. You're fine. It's fine. You're beautiful." Clay says quickly. 

"I a-am? I feel s-so heavy." I say. 

"You're so pretty. Your body is just working to help you. You look great. Go back and sit on the couch and I'll sing to you while you go to sleep." Clay says, causing me to blush as I make my way back to my previous seat. 

I lay down on the couch, adjusting my earbuds in my ears and putting my phone on the charger as I hear Clay begin singing Hey There, Delilah.