Are You Sick of Me? ||Richie Tozier angst

The letter...

[TW: Talk of suicide, mentions of abuse, a little self deprication, really painfully short, purposeful grammar errors that pained me to write]

Richie Tozier is helpless.

After seeing how scared Eddie sounded when he saw him at the window, he couldn't do it. Not without a note. Still at his desk, he slipped a notebook out of his stack, and started writing.

Dear Losers,

Your probably confused on why I sent you all this. Since I was like 5, my dad has been abusing me, and with henry and all of that bullshit, its just too much. By now you probably know what has happened. This is a suicide note. there is a section for you all. A goodbye, and the truth.

Stanley, dont be guilty, but when you tell me to shut up all the time it does actually hurt. You were a great friend nevertheless. Goodbye stanley

Bill, im really sorry about georgie. I was a dick about it when we went to the well house the first time, im really sorry. I will miss you a lot. goodbye bill.

Beverly, you were always there for me, i just never opened up. For that im truly sorry. I love you bevvie. goodbye beverly.

Mike, you tried so hard for me, i will always be in your debt. You are one of my best friends, your one of the most loyal people i know. Goodbye mike.

Ben, Do you remember that day in the bathrooms, the day eddie told us about hannah? That was the best part of my day. You made me feel happy for a bit, thank you. Goodbye ben.

Eddie, I love you. More than a friend. I think thats probably one of the things that has made life hard for me. I have always loved you. You were, and always will be my best friend. The way you were always there for me will never be forgotten. My best memories were with you, your my true love. When im around you, i cant feel bad. Ive never loved a person as much as i love you eddie, i want you to know that. I was just afraid. Im even gonna carve our initials into the bridge before i jump, knowing that i never had a chance anyway.

Im sorry everyone.

From your favorite trashmouth, richie.

Signing off the letter, tears spilled down his face, some of them smudging parts of the note. He sniffed, before getting up and looking at himself in the mirror. What a trainwreck.

[A/N: This one is really short, but i think this one is better short, have fun with this hahahahaha (im literally gonna cry) Remember to eat and drink, and try to sleep before 1 am, if you don't, that's okay too. And you already know, whether your 1 hour clean, or 100 hours clean, your doing so well ml, stay strong and keep going, you are doing so great!! Discord is iamtootir3d and Snap is user_unknown247, discord vent server is in the comments as always. Stay safe ml <33]