One Helluva Assassin (Fem Helluva Boss x Male Assassin's Creed OC)

Bread Bank (Non-Canon)

The scene opens with Vincent entering a bakery that said "Bread Bank" to get some bread, He walked up to the buying area and an imp named Jeffery jumped from behind the counter and welcome him.

Jeffery: Welcome to the bread bank! We sell bread! we sell loafs! We got bread on deck! bread on the floor! Toasted, Roasted-

Vincent: *Points at him* SHUT THE FUCK UP😡!

Vincent calmed down and resumed on what he was gonna do.

Vincent: Listen, I just need *Counts fingers* a baguette and a brioche.

Jeffery is shown laying down on the counter.

Jeffery: Sorry, but we don't have either of those. You can get the gluten-free white bread... or the potato bread.

Vincent: What the fuck is gluten?! Take that shit out!

Scene switches to them interacting each other with text boxes like it's a video game.

Jeffery: It's gluten FREE...

Vincent: I don't care if it's "free"

(A/N: Interaction 100)

Scene switches back to Jeffery crouching on the counter.

Jeffery: Swear on you fucking "Yeezys" *Grabs his heel and hangs him upside down*, if you wanna fight, we goin' fight.

Vincent: *Pulls himself up while crossing his arms* Tryin'a be on World Star?

Another scene switches to them getting in fighting positions like their in street fighter.

Jeffery: What? You goin' record it?

Vincent: Ye, I got my Dollar Store camera *Turns it on* on.

Suddenly, another imp named John lowers himself with a pole out of nowhere and poses like a stripper.

John: What's the fucking *Camera zooms in on his face* SituAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAtion *Then zooms out*?

Scene switches back to Vincent questioning him.

Vincent: What the fuck do you want?!

John: I'm the mother fucking MANAGER!

Vincent: *Does a weird pose while slouching* At thE BReaD sToRE?

John: *Sticks head out of a bread pile for some fucking reason* BREAD.

Vincent: *Points at Jeffery* Tell him to take the mother fucking gluten out the bread!

John: *Leans sideways and explains* [Annoyed] Imma need you to shut that bullshit up, Chief. We can't take shit out of bread.

Vincent: *Crosses arms* Why put it in in the first place?! *Makes Smoking gesture* I know y'all smoking that pack!

Jeffery: *As a bingo Cat* We got crackers! No gluten!

Vincent: FUCK crackers.

Scene switches to Vincent picking his nose, along with John next to him.

John: IT'S GLUTEN FREE! You want the gluten, or no?

Vincent: FUCK NO! You better take the gluten out that damn shit!

Jeffery: *Starting to lose it* Look! We got whole wheat gluten-free! Texas-Toast gluten-free! *Slowly* T O R T I L L A.

Vincent: FUCK ALL THAT! What bitch-ass country are y'all from where they got all this bullshit at?

John: *Deadpan* Florida.

Vincent: I knew it!

John: Look, You can either take this *Shows bread* YEAST... or I'm calling the *Magically summons phone* police.

Vincent: *Spins 180 degrees* I'm goin weast.

John: Nah, don't call the police😨! I got a warrant😓.

Next shows a flyer that says this;

Have you seen this man?

Wanted on four counts of
Being a wierd sex pervert
And smelling like omlettes

If found call the
Woop woops asap

Vincent: *Off screen* Honestly, fuck y'all.

Camera pans to the second that Vincent is reading

Vincent: *Off screen* "I ain't never seen nobody act like this over no bread".

Scene goes back to John questioning him.

John: What the fuck are you saying?!

Vincent: *Somehow on a sitcom stage* All I'm sayin' is *Back to the bread bank* [Flips them off] fuck y'all's bread, fuck the gluten... and fuck them crackers.

Jeffery: *Has had enough* BUT THE CRACKERS DON'T HAVE GLUTEN!

Vincent: Nevermind, I'll take those :).

Jeffery: *Calms down and relieved* Okay🙄, *Hands him the crackers* that's gonna be 5-

Vincent: *steals it and leaves* Nah, fuck that. I ain't paying.

End of Non-Canon Chapter

(A/N: Orginal by Krunkidle and Sethical from YouTube.)

(658 words)