A Defender's Oath (Rafael Barba x reader)

A New Start.

After leaving the chapel room, I decided it would be smart to get a coffee.  I didn't want to explain that I went and begged a man in the sky for her life.  When I returned, Dustin was standing over her speaking softly.  I knocked on the door.

"Now a good time?" I asked.

"As good as any," he sighed and motioned to the chair I was sitting in.  He sat across from me never breaking his gaze from her.  "She's all grown up.  Last time I had a chance to see her she was just a toddler."

"Must have been hard to not say goodbye to your family."

"Part of the job. I'm sure you've seen plenty of under cover cases."

"A few."

"I should have done more.  I didn't want to break my cover or lose him.  But I shouldn't have done it at the cost of her life."

"Is that what the doctor said?  She's not going to recover?"

"The odds are low."

"She didn't know when to stop. She really didn't want to blow this case."

"I knew he was involved with her family's death. Brody's a real piece of shit.  He's a very charismatic man and said all the right things to her ex.". He sat back in the chair and rubbed his forehead.  "I passed along the information but no one acted in time."

"You can't blame yourself."

"Same goes to you.  But I need to talk to you about what she'd want."

"Want?"

"Olivia said you were pretty close."

"Of course she did," I huffed.  I leaned forward and placed my hand on hers.  "It's complicated."

"I've got some time.  Listen.  I'm supposed to make a decision on whether or not to wait and give her chance.  Tell me about her. What would she want?"

"We never discussed..."

"No.  I'm sure that wasn't something on your plates.  I know you were both concerned with other issues.  And Brody assumed you had a blossoming relationship.  I can't make this decision alone.  Tell me, what kind of person is she?  Is she the kind of person worth giving a chance?"

"Absolutely.  I might be a bit biased though."

"I feel the same way.  I just want to get to know her and make up for lost time," he smiled softly. His gaze met mine for the first time since I came back. "It feels wrong.  If she's suffering do I prolong that for my own selfish hopes?"

"If it up to me I would wait.  But that's because-" the words froze at the back of my throat.  Now didn't feel like the right time to openly admit my feelings.

"You love her?"

"Yeah.  I do.  And right now I'm thinking about everything I might lose.  Waking up by her side in the mornings.  Her smile.  The way she smiles.  And I mean smiles.  Like when she's just so happy she can't contain it.  Going to dinners, movies and the theater.  Dancing at galas.  All these things that seem so stupidly simple, but feel like they are going to absolutely tear me apart if I lose the opportunity to have them."

"We aren't at that point quite yet. I appreciate your insight.  The doctors still want to give it more time with everything that happened.  Might be too much of a shock on her to wake or something I don't know how it works."

We talked for awhile after that.  I told him about our complicated relationship.  Not all of the full details but something was budding between us.  She kept acting in a way that protected me and the case.  But Dustin seemed happy to learn anything about his niece.  After a fairly long chat he asked if he could have some time alone.  I agreed and excused myself.  I had errands to run anyway.  Before I left I caught a portion of his apology to her.
 
  
Nearly two weeks had passed.  I was supposed to start work again.  Occasionally I would run into Dustin at the hospital.  We would chat about life and the case briefly, but rarely how she was doing.  Because there hadn't been improvements and I think neither of us were ready to admit it was over.