finally something different lmfao
ajahahhahahhhh
angst!!! yeah!!!!! wooohoo!
first time writing it, lmk if i did anything wrong
thank u for requesting!!!
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Paper's POV:
I've been looking over at Oj for quite awhile, keeping an eye on him sometimes. I just wish I could have him for hours. I can't seem to build the courage to talk with him. I mean, we're together but it just doesn't sit right with me. Whenever he's around me, I just feel so happy the ecstasy is indescribable. But, one thing is that I just don't want to annoy him. I feel that I really shouldn't, which just brings me down.
I just.. have sudden outbursts sometimes when I think of him..
...
All alone, in my very room. I sit there on my bed being an emotional neglect. Well, I shouldn't be saying that- right? No, I'm not an emotional neglect. I can't be. No. It's not even true.. I- erm.
I sigh, holding onto my phone giving it a tight squeeze.
God. Why do I keep thinking and thinking? I..
Maybe it would all be better if I just laid there, completely unaware of anything, ignoring everyone who comes to check in on me. I don't want to do this anymore. But no, I would have to.
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No one's POV:
Paper stares at the blank ceiling, eyeing the lights that shine down the hallways as he walks through, holding his phone and thinking. Paper's breathing is shaky. He notices a faint voice from Oj, calling him over.
"Paper! Where are youu.." He called out.
Paper turns away from where he was walking, to Oj who was running around.
"Ah, there you are!" Oj exclaims, holding onto Paper's hand.
"Oh, Hi.. Oj." Paper groaned, looking at him. The light reflecting on Oj's glass. Oj lets go off Paper's hand, gazing at him as they reach a stopping point.
"So uh, what are you doing?" Oj asks in a low voice.
"Eh, me? Hah, I don't know, walking to my.. room supposedly?" Paper responds, unable to keep up a stable posture.
"Ohh alright, well I'll be going now. Cya! I love you." Oj shouts, his voice getting distant as he gets farther and farther away entering the elevator.
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Paper's POV:
Why do I even try? Does he not care.. Not even notice? Typical.
I reach the knob of the door to my room, twisting it and opening it with a light pressure I handle on it. The door knob squeaks and opens. I step onto the wooden floor, squinting from the light a bit. I shut the door cold. I turn my phone on, clicking the button on the side of it. The brightness harnesses my eyes.
I move to the side of my bed, watching posts of most people having fun, wishing I could to.
I place the phone down, catching my breath. But it was too hard to breath. I cried, trembled, my heart ached. My whole body. It hurts.
My breathing was rapid. Negative thoughts filled my head. The pain yearned. I quivered and just laid there. I cried and cried. I mewl, gripping onto a pillow, forcing my face into it and screaming.
I hold onto it, sobbing. My anger.
"What the fuck?-"
"..Oj, I-" Taking my face out of the pillow, turning away from the door so my face wasn't visible to him.
"Paper."
"Wh-What..?" My voice all scratchy, my vision blurry from all the tears. The noticeable raspy voice I had now.
'Is this all real?'
Oj looks at me in complete disbelief. He studies my current situation, contemplating. I can tell he felt broken.
The sound of the door shutting, He walks over to me slowly. "Uh, Paper.."
I throw the pillow downwards onto the floor.
"..Y—eaa..h?" I ask, trying my best to calm down. My throat hurts, all the stress is held in me. It hurts like hell. The pain is imminent and I can't seem to put a stop to it. It is constant and feels infuriating.
My throat in complete pain, he reaches for me, pulling close to him, slowly to make sure I'm fine with it.
"Sorry, was this a bad time to come in?" Oj questioned. Sitting behind me on the bed, parts of the sheet soaked in my tears.
"F-Fuck.. off. Why d-ddo youu.. care, Oj?"
"Sorry, I- can leave if you want. I didn't mean to bother..." He says, completely broken.
I pule from his words, making me cry even more. "S-Soo..rry."
"It's alright, I understand. You need some alone time and I-"
"No."
"What? What do you mean "No", Paper?" Oj moves closer.
"I- just.. it's okay. I r-really wanted to spend time with you but you're always s-souu.. busy."
"Sorry, I didn't realize."
'Pshh, you never do. This is hopeless. I should stop talking.'
"O-Oh.. it's fi-fine now." I snuffle, weeping quietly. The pain in my throat disappearing gradually.
I turn to Oj, who is concerned and concentrating on how I feel.
He hugs me tightly. The warmth of his embrace startles me a bit, but I allow it.
"I'm sorry, Paper, that I wasn't here for you. Never be afraid to tell me, k?" He verbalizes.
"O-Okay."
The promising voice he has convinces me. I know he insists on doing so. I can trust him. Trust Oj this time.
"So, what is it you wanted to do?" He asked, blinking every so 10 seconds. He wasn't tired.
"Can we.. talk, please?" I ask politely.
"Of course, what is it you need, dear?"
I divulge with Oj, revealing things. Expressing my emotion to him as he makes me feel safe, more comfortable and confident. We communicate and tell each other things we never had.
We disclosed stuff together.
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Oj's POV:
He looks at me happily, smiling back at me. I feel bad that he has went through so much. I'm guilty, but glad he spoke to me about all this. Otherwise, I would just be a horrible person in the end.
I would not want that, and he wouldn't either.
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SORRY IF THE WRITING IS BAD. I'VE NEVER WRITTEN ANGST BEFOREEEE
its 5:40am rn 🌚☠️
