Dawn of the Nephilim

25. To fight part I

The first thing Ronan saw when he opened his eyes were clouds like woolly sheep that slowly streamed past the stark blue morning sky, hauntingly peaceful. A shame the clouds are not the first thing you see in the morning more often. Then the night's memories came streaming back in, and the peacefulness of the morning was fractured, if not shattered. All of last night seemed like a dream to him now. Had Eloï'inda really been there to comfort him, or was that another fanciful figment of his imagination? With a groan he decided to forget about it. He didn't want to remember any of those horrors. Let me have at least one peaceful day. "That is one way to greet the morning." He looked towards the approximate area the voice was emanating from, and found himself facing an amused Eloï'inda. "Good morning to you as well... teacher" he said as he straightened himself. He would keep using the title for now. The blanket fell off of him onto the ground.

He rubbed a hand through his messy hair, ridding it of twigs and leaves in the process. Curls tend to gather up as much of the material they come into contact with as possible. Yawning, he blinked the sleep away from his eyes. "Care for some breakfast?" Eloï'inda said as she extended a finger towards a steaming fish that was roasting above a fire, and what seemed like a wooden cup filled with water. He felt the rumbling of his stomach, and decided that he wasn't going to bother asking her where she got them from. "Yes please, thank you."

"You are welcome. I must say: you are quite the sleeper." He let the remark pass without comment. As he carefully ripped the perfectly cooked, white meat from the grates, he felt like it was the appropriate time to ask after the program for the day. He had few illusions as to the extent of his freedom of choice in that regard. "So, what are we going to do today teacher? I was thinking about having a swim, and a bit of sunbathing." It was a pitiful attempt at making a joke, but Ionara knew he was hoping for just that. Without the involvement of alligators, preferably.

Her expression became serious. "Today Ronan, we are going to teach you about what you are." And, there we go again. "At the moment you may believe that you are Ronan, son of Jack, a young man from the village of Brendon. But that is no longer quite the truth. The moment you established the connection with Tiar'Mara, was the moment you shed that identity, and you became an entirely new creature. The mark on your chest is physical proof of that." How does she know that? He unconsciously touched the area where he knew the mark was. If the dreams are any indication, I am not sure that I like my new identity. "Pay attention Ronan, remember what is at stake." She shot him a stern look. He managed a guilty "yes teacher" which was apparently enough to satisfy her, and she continued. For a moment he was taken in by her immense, unnatural prettiness, before he realized his emotions were being tampered with again, and he struggled back towards neutral attentiveness.

"A part of Tiar'Mara now resides in you, and a part of you resides in her. On the one hand this increases your resilience, because you both carry the load of sickness, and injury. On the other hand however, this increases your vulnerability. From what I have seen, your connection runs so deep that if one of you were to die, or lose sanity, the other would most likely follow. Tiar'Mara has the advantage of age, and therefore experience, so she might stand a chance. But you Ronan, would almost definitely succumb to the consequences. I have told you this before. But it is imperative that you remember it. Tiar'Mara's injuries are your injuries. Her difficulties are your difficulties. You have managed to connect the two of you so thoroughly, it is as though your hearts pump blood through the same veins." Duly noted.

"The fact that a certain amount of her identity is now embedded in your being, gives you access to an array of possibilities that would not be available to any normal human. For starters, you will over time come to realize that you now have access to more knowledge than any human would normally attain in his or her lifetime. This is primarily because of the nature of Tiar'Mara's being, and also because of her in your eyes tremendous age. However, in this fact there also lies a danger for you. Her being might turn out to be so overwhelming for you, that you will 'get lost in it'. You might begin to lose sight of your own identity as a human. Take care that you remember which part of your identity is yours, and which part is merely borrowed. Yes?" Ronan had indicated he wanted to ask a question, like they had more or less agreed upon the previous day. "How can I know which part of my identity is mine, and which part is hers? With the dreams I have been having lately it is clear enough that they do not come from me. But what about what type of food I like? What things I find look beautiful? Is it a point of keeping as much as possible separate or just some core convictions?" Eloï'inda thoughtfully tapped her chin a few times.

"I understand your question, but I am afraid that I can be of little help in that regard. As I have been saying, this connection is unprecedented, and it is not entirely clear to me what the total consequences will be, nor where its greatest dangers lie. If Tiar'Mara were awake, I would be able to tell you more, but for the time being, I can do little more than warn you." That was not a very encouraging bit of information. A bit surprised, he realized he was already beginning to largely lean on Eloï'inda for guidance as well as knowledge. I have to take care that I remain my own man.