To, Ashtray ps. i love you

chapter 16- the funeral

ALEXANDERS POV-

Today was my aunties and uncles funeral. This was gonna be one of the hardest days of my life. My mam got invited but if she shows up i dont know what i am gonna say to her. Me and maddy didnt even bother to do our makeup because we would be crying our eyes out anyways. We done our hair and put on black dresses with heels.

Lexi and cassie were coming aswell since they were close to our familt sincr we were kids. Ash was coming aswell to be there for me. He has been so supportive to me and maddy throughout all of this. He would helo me get up if i needed it, he would drive me and maddy shopping. He was being an angel, i really love him. No we are not offical. But, i know its gonna happen.

Me and maddy walked down the stairs to where everyone was. The cars were outside and everyone whent outside to see the coffins in the front car. Maddy was sobbing and i grabbed her hand and supported her through this bit. I had ash on the other side holding me other hand. Everyone after the car started leaving to go to the church. Me,ash,maddy and lexi got into one car and the car started driving slowly. Maddy held onto me and i held onto her too. This was gonna be hard for her.

We made it too the church and everyone started walking into the church. Fez,nates dad,nate,ash,my mams brother and my uncles brother started to carry my aunties coffin and bodyguards carried the other one. I couldn't believe how many people actually showed up. We started walking into the church. Maddy was my shoulder crying while we were walking and i just let her cry. We interlock our hands and walk into the church.

I felt somebody tap my shoulder, it was my mam. WAIT. my mam actually showed up? I look at her confused and she just smiles at me. I turn to maddy to tell her that she was here and she had a shocked face on her.

After we whent to the church, we whent outside to the burial, where me and maddy were gonna say a few words and watch them get out into the ground together.

Priest- "madeline, the daughter of these angels would like to say a few words"

I let go of maddys hand and reassure her she is okay. She stands next to the photos of her mam and dad and starts to speak.

Maddy- "god today is so hard for me. I am saying goodbye to my first loves. The people who raised me, the best parents in the world. I dont know where i will be without them. They gave birth to me 17 years ago. The pain my mamma whent through for me. I wish i could have done the same for her. Uhm while i was thinking, i had a memory of my mam and dad. When they were really happy. It was Christmas like 12 years ago when i was 5. They watched me open my presents in awe and i felt like that was my family. Nobody knew me like they did. And i am gonna miss them more than anything. And one thing i do wanna say is, thank u mamma and papa. U gave me a beautiful life. And i am thankful. Both u both can be happy in heaven. My gaurdian angels. I love you both so much and i am gonna make u proud. I love u both, goodbye"

Everyone clapped and i whent to grab maddy but nate did. It boiled my blood and cassie didnt look very happy about it either. Fuck her.

Priest- "that was beautiful, now alexander perez would also like to say a few words."

I walk up to the photos and i had no clue what i was gonna say so i decide to just wing it.

Alex- "uhm wow, i really never thought that right now, today. I would be standing here talking about my amazing auntie and uncle. I feel guilty and horrible for what happened. And i cant forgive myself. They took me in when my own family didn't want me. My auntie was a mentor to me, she got me into nail art and hair and beauty. I got the best tips of her and i wouldnt be looking too good without her. She made my life so much better. If it wasn't for her i wouldnt have a cousin who is like a sister to me. I wouldnt have ash, my favourite person in the world. My uncle might have sat and watched football and drink all day, fair enough. But, i knew he loved me deep down and i love him. Always will. And i have one promise for them, i will look after your daughter,now,tomorrow forever. The angels in my life. I love you auntie and uncle"

Everyone claps again and i start crying. Ash runs to me and holds my hand and takes us back to our seats. The ceremony keeps going for awhile untik it was really time to say goodbye.

Everyone stands and starts to walk past, either throwing dry mud or a rose into each grave. Me and maddy go together and we kiss the coffins before throwing the roses in there. We walk away slowly and look back one last time at the people who raised us to who we are today. Maddy whispered into my ear that my mother dearest was next and i turned around to see what she would do. She stood up, threw 3 roses in aunties and 3 in uncles graves and tears start to flow in her eyes. I didn't feel bad for her. She abandoned me. She started walking away and she saw me and maddy looking at her and came up to us.

Mam- "hey, mads im so sorry for ur loss sweetheart, i loved your parents so much"

Maddy- "thanks auntie"

Mam- "and alex, im sorry for everything that happened. Since auntie and uncle cant look after you i have decided i am taking u back, we are moving to england to start fresh"

Alex- "no, im sorry u fucking ruined my life. U left me. Not the other way around. U kicked me out. And yk what? Im fucking glad u did. Because im better of here than anywhere with you. And your saying this even when auntie and uncle arnt in the grave. U fucking bitch. So u can fucking leave. And never come back. You are not my mother"

Mam- "how dare you speak to me this way, u ungrateful brat. Anyways, im staying in a hotel since auntie left a will that has my name on it too. So i will be here for a couple more days"

Maddy- "so u only came for the will? Wow i should have known. Once a cunt, always a cunt. Fuck you. My parents arnt even in the grave and your mouthing at there own fucking funeral. And talk to alex like that again, u will regret it. Auntie"

My mam stood there shocked at what maddy just said too her. She started to walk off and i hugger maddy thanking her for defending me infront of my mam. It takes guts to be horrible to my mam.

After the funeral ash came to sues, to look after me. He knew how hard it was for me to say goodbye to my real family. We were cuddling on lexis bed since lexi was at fez's right now. They have been getting closer through the past week. When i started getting comfortable. My eyes kept closing and i was trying to stay awake for ash. He told me to get some sleeo since i was pretty exhausted. So, i closed my eyes once again and kept them closed. I drifted into a good sleep...