Never Fall For The Sad Boy (bxb)

12. December

TWs: mentions of abuse and underage drug ingestions and drinking, vague mention of underage sex

Kian is cleared to leave the hospital on November twenty ninth. He is reluctant to leave at first, and I don't blame him; he was kicked out of his house, he doesn't have anywhere to live.

Mr. and Mrs. Olsson say that he can live with them, to Grace's joy. Kian shyly accepts it, and looks away from them in the way he usually does around me. As I'm standing beside Grace, I still can't see what his face is doing.

The first time I visit Kian and Grace is on December third. Kian is visibly starting to get more comfortable with the Olssons, as well as their cat. We haven't talked about Kian's old cat since the day we first met, and I'm reminded of it when I see him petting Bob, Grace's cat.

After that I start spending every afternoon at Grace's house, and Simon comes to visit now and then together with Jack. Jack is really a nice guy, he's funny and not at all ashamed to do or say anything.

Michael and Harry come to adore me for some reason, and they spend all their time talking to me. They introduce their friends to me before Grace or Kian, who they actually live with. Grace claims it's because I'm the only one in the house except Mr. Olsson who actually likes women.

Honestly, I've never really felt any attraction to anyone, at least not that I know of. People say that you just know when you're into somebody, but I don't know. I don't think I've wanted to be with anybody, not like other people describe, anyway. Well, I guess I can tell when a girl is pretty or not; Grace is very beautiful, and so are all of Simon's past girlfriends.

My mom is beautiful, and my grandma, and Grace's mom, and Kian's mom was very pretty, at least in the one photo I've seen. So I can tell when girls look pretty, and it's not as if I can't tell if a guy is good-looking either. I've seen pretty guys, and I can even see the difference between a "pretty" guy and a "handsome" guy. I think I'm handsome. Just to compare me to somebody, Kian is pretty.

Like, really pretty. I'm surprised nobody has been trying to get with him, even guys. I think one of Grace's friends tried to hit on him once, but he wasn't shy to say that he is gay.

("Sorry, you're not my type."

"What is your type, then?"

"Men.")

Anyway, compared to him, I'm definitely more handsome that I am pretty.

On December sixteenth, Kian tells me that what happened after he got kicked out was that he went and got drunk in Oakfolk. He was offered drugs that he accepted, not even knowing what it was, and he met some guys that he apparently went home with. He woke up in an unknown apartment naked and left very quickly. He didn't go to school, instead he got himself more drunk and high. That night he didn't sleep.

The next day, he was still getting drunk and decided to go to the cemetery, which he returned to every day, just as drunk and high as the other days. Then, on the Sunday, he fell asleep watching his mom's and brother's graves. Falling asleep had been a bad idea, since he almost overdosed and died.

I hug him for a long time after he's finished his story. I think he cries, and I definitely cry.

—

I'm going to Indianapolis for Christmas, and we're leaving early on Christmas Eve. It's going to be a few days without seeing the Olssons or Kian, and he will be spending his Holidays in Wayhild together with Grace's family and relatives.

I'm excited to meet my cousins in Indianapolis, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to miss Kian. I'll call him a lot.

It's December 19th. School is ending, and we're all gathered in the gym hall.

"Students of Wayhild High!" Principal Cline addresses us, "Thank you for this semester. Next year we will say goodbye to our seniors and the students from Oakfolk High, who will be going back to their school at the start of next year, unless they've decided to stay here at Wayhild."

Principal Cline is a tall, muscular black man who looks like he should be lifting weights and not stand in front of a group of highschool students as their principal. His voice is rumbling through the hall and making everyone listen. I remember that the first impression I had of him was that he reminded me an awful lot of Kingsley Shacklebolt from Harry Potter. I love Principal Cline.

Kian is sitting next to me, and I can't help but wonder if he's gonna be staying at Wayhild after the summer. I haven't heard much of whether he liked it at Oakfolk, so perhaps not.

"The school choir, led by my lovely wife, Mrs. Cline, wants to wish you all a very merry Christmas."

Everyone claps unenthusiastically as the choir walks up, Principal Cline planting a kiss to Mrs. Cline's cheek when he passed her.

The choir sings a few classical Christmas songs, one of them actually being in Swedish as one of the choir kids is from there. She sings the song as a solo, and it must mean a lot because I think I see a tear fall from her eyes as she sings. It's really quite beautiful.

—

At nine PM on December twenty third, the doorbell to my house rings.

I open the door to see Kian standing outside, a look on his face resembling determination mixed with hope and terror and... lust?

It's been snowing outside and Kian's dark hair is splattered with white snowflakes. He's wearing a black jacket.

"Hi," I breathe, taken aback by how pretty he looks, his cheeks and nose red from the cold.

"Hey."