Never Fall For The Sad Boy (bxb)

13. I Really Like You

TWs: suicide attempt

"I– come in," I say, gesturing into my house. Something about this visit makes me feel a bit queasy.

"Thanks," Kian sounds breathless, as if he ran here, though I know he didn't. For some unexplainable reason, my heart is thundering in my chest in the same way it does when Kian is laughing, but now he isn't laughing at all.

"Oh, hi Kian!" mom comes to check who's arrived, "Would you make it quick? We are packing so the whole place is a bit of a mess."

"I don't mind, but yeah. I'll be quick."

Kian doesn't look away from me as he says it. Mom lingers for a moment before backing back into the living room, where she and dad have set up their yearly packing area.

"Let's go to my room," I say, trying to lighten the mood and press back the unwelcome blush that's trying to spread across my cheeks.

Kian says nothing, only follows me up to my room in complete silence. It's first when I close the door to my room that he speaks again.

"I just... I came to say goodbye, I guess," he says. When I turn to look at him, I see that he is fidgeting; a sign that he is very nervous.

"Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow. But that's not why you're here, really."

"No," Kian shakes his head and when he meets my gaze, his eyes are fierce. "No, I– look, Elis, you are one of the best friends I've ever had."

I don't know why that stung a bit.

"And this will probably ruin that. But, Elis, the thing is," he sucked in a deep breath, then sighed, "I... I like you. Like, I really like you."

My breath catches in my throat and I blink, not quite sure what he means.

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, taking a step towards him.

"Elis, I..."

Then he looks me in the eye. He usually looks away after three seconds, at most. But now he doesn't.

That feeling builds up in my stomach as the seconds tick on and neither of us look away. My eyes are drowning in his, lost in the deep blue ocean.

Then Kian is moving. He's moving closer to me, and he reaches up to grab the back of my neck, fisting at my hair, and then he's pressing his lips against mine, hard.

I don't know what to do at first, but then I'm kissing him back and I'm alive. My blood is running through my veins, and my lungs are expanding with every breath I take, and Kian keeps me alive.

Kian, Kian, Kian.

To my absolute disdain, Kian pulls away. Though not too far. He has a hand on my chest and he's breathing hard. My eyes are fixed on his mouth as it begins to move.

"I like you. Like, seriously like you, romantically. So. Yeah. Okay, goodbye."

I find myself frozen in place as he completely steps away from me and, without another word, thunders down the stairs, calling a farewell to my parents before I hear the front door slam shut.

That's when it hits me.

He kissed me. He likes me. Romantically.

Oh, I've been so stupid.

I have been so fucking dumb.

How the hell did I not see it?

Instead of standing there like a complete idiot, I start to move my legs. Out the door, down the stairs, out the–