Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 13 Cheshire

I spent the next few days hanging around the farm, but I did my best to avoid the barn and the horses. Seems that they had all heard when Butterscotch had yelled at me and they were all determined to drive me away. I don't blame them for being weary of my motivations especially since I've been gone for so long.
Watching Alice work around the farm I can see glimpses of her royal line in her. She's determined and not afraid to work. She'd make her ancestors proud with how she has stayed humble in her life, but could still hold command over a conversation. She tended to lead her brother and cousin when they worked on chores together, but she always took more of the load than the others. In the quiet moments of their day I could see her staring longingly at the portal tree, no doubt thinking of Hatter and the other side. For both their sakes I needed to make my move soon and talk to her.
It had started pouring rain one day and I had to shelter in the barn. I did my best to stay far from Butterscotch's stall but the others were constantly biting in my direction and almost stamping on my tail. I ended up just staying by the door that lead to the pasture away from the house when I heard Butterscotch call out to me.
"Feline. Come here." I walk toward his stall and sit in front of his door. He gently leans his head over the door and looks at me sleepily.
"I may owe you an apology. I've been stewing in my anger for 20 years. You must understand that it was my stall that she'd hide in when she was overwhelmed. I was the one she'd cry on when she needed to hide her feelings. Her family has been making her think what happened to her was nothing more than the dreams of a child. Especially since she only started talking about you all after she woke up under that old tree." I try to hide my surprise as he confesses what's been happening over the years. I don't know what could have suddenly changed his mind, but we both needed to understand what's lead us up to this point.
"I don't blame you for being angry with me. What had happened was completely out of my control. And unfortunately unless you understand the magic of my world then it wouldn't make much sense, but please know, if I could have come back sooner I would have." I hear Butterscotch laugh gently before he pulls his head back.
"Come, join me in here so I can lay down. I'm not long for time here and we need to talk about what's happened over the years. You need a full idea of what she has gone through all these years. I'm the only one on this farm who knows Alice and what she's actually gone through. I've been her closest confidant and it's time for you to do your job. It's time for her to be happy either here or in your world."

We had spent hours discussing everything he knew of Alice's childhood and everything that I had missed these past years. We both had anger and guilt to work through, mainly from me. Hearing of how Alice was constantly dismissed or told we were only a dream had made my guilt that much worse that I haven't been able to keep my promise. It hasn't been all bad for her though, Butterscotch told me that to cope with the loneliness she learned to draw and sketch. He said she has an incredible talent. She has many books filled with pictures of Hatter, Hare, and myself. When they all go into town again I plan on finding my way into the house and looking through her sketches. If she remembered me accurately then it'd be easier to convince her that everything wasn't a dream.


Alice

We've been on the farm for about a week now and I've noticed a black cat hanging around the property. This was starting to freak me out. I haven't dreamed of Hatter since my nap under the tree. And now a black cat was prowling around the property, I could finally be slipping into madness and may finally be thrown away for being crazy.
It was pouring rain on Saturday so we all decided to put off the chores, other than feeding the animals of course. We had all sat in the living room getting ready to watch a movie with popcorn when Lorraine came in after feeding the horses.
"I think we have a new barn cat settling in!" She sounds excited when she announces the news. "It's a pretty black cat. It was asleep in Butterscotches stall when I went to feed them. And just in time, Butterscotch seems to be on his last legs. Poor baby is slowing down a lot, he barely even leaves the barn. I  think he's been missing Chester too." She flops next to me and grabs a handful of my popcorn.
"Who's Chester?" Jack asks around a mouthful of gummy bears. Lorraine laughs at him before she answers.
"Chester was our last barn cat. He and Butterscotch were best friends, they were always playing in the field together and napping together in the sun. Unfortunately he passed away around Halloween and he's been awfully lonely since then." She looks sad as she remembers the latest barn cat they've had. There always seemed to be at least one cat that liked to stay in the barn and keep the mice and pests out of the grains.
We all pick the movie and start watching, but I can't seem to get my mind off of Butterscotch. I needed to spend some time with him before he passed. He'd always be the one I'd go to when I got overwhelmed and needed a good cry. I decided that tomorrow I'd be spending all day with him. I'd bring him carrots and some of his favorite peppermint sticks. Tomorrow it'd be all about him and me.
The movie ended and I decided I wanted to take some alone time and draw for awhile.
"I'm going to my room to draw for a bit." They all just nod at me as they pick another movie. I quickly kiss my Mom and Aunt on the cheek and make my way back to my room.
I pull out one of my spare sketchbooks and look through some of my old pictures of Butterscotch. Smiling, I page through the sketchbook thinking of the memories of the days I spent sitting in the barn or on a bale of hay out in the pasture working on my skills. Most of these are to bad, but definitely something I have improved on.
I start out by sketching Hatter by his lemon trees. That image of him standing under his lemon trees has been constantly running through my mind. Something he said has also been popping up a lot as well, what he called dream walking. Why does that sound familiar? Why does it keep tickling at the back of my mind like it's something important.
Jack walks in my room breaking me out of my thoughts.
"What's up Jack? Do you need something or did you get out voted and their watching a chick flick?" I laugh as he rolls his eyes and lays across the foot of my bed. I sit by my pillows and wait for him to talk. After a few moments of silence he finally asks me.
"How much do you know about our family line? Mainly Dad and Uncle Damions side?" I look at him confused.
"Almost nothing. Why?" He just nods and continues to stare at the ceiling. "All our families records stop at our great something grandma Beatrice. I found her marriage license, but before that nothing. No birth certificate for her, no immigration papers, not even a picture of her before her wedding day. And you look almost identical to her. It's weird. I tried asking Aunt Tilly and Dad, but they claim they don't know where any more records could be." He sighs and I can tell he's getting frustrated from hitting a dead spot.
"Why is it weird that Aunt Tilly and Dad don't know where any more records are? Depending on how far you went back there might not be any or they could've had a fire and everything could have been destroyed. Why are you freaking out?" He sits up and stares at me.
"Because they looked nervous and tried to change the subject. When have they ever been anything other than open and honest with us since we became adults? They're hiding something. I know it." I laugh.
"I think you've been watching to many detective shows Jack. Maybe they're covering up a huge family secret. Maybe our ancestor was Jack the ripper!" He laughs and I can see some of the tension leave him.
"Maybe you're right. I might be over thinking it." He lays back down and closes his eyes. We stay like this for awhile, him laying down and me still drawing. He finally looks back at me and asks
"What are you so intent on drawing this time? That cool little mouse in the suit?" I turn my page around and show him. He rolls his eyes before he says
"Why am I not surprised? Hatter. The man you've had your eyes on since you were seven. When are you going to snap into reality Alice? A dream isn't a healthy relationship." I gently kick him on the shoulder.
"Still better than any relationship you've ever had. And it's not like I haven't had a real relationship before. I've had a few boyfriends." I close the book as Jack snorts then laughs.
"Marcus and Harry don't count though. You may be their third wheel, but it still doesn't count. And I met a few of those losers while you were in high school. Let's hope your taste has improved since then." I merely roll my eyes and look out my window.
"I'm going to find someone soon I hope." I don't tell him about how I've been looking for a man like Hatter, he wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain it. He'd look at me like I went totally crazy. None of them understood that he feels real to me.