𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐥

A Little Note from the Author

Most of you wants the chapter and waiting. I understand you too, but I'm not sure I can do anything like this recently.

All my life I have been very sensitive to feelings.

I was very concerned about how the things I said and did would affect the people in front of me, but I was also ruthless when necessary.

For me, that was the flow of life.

While I respected everyone, unfortunately, I loved people very hard.

I wouldn't let people know.

What I call love is not just a romantic relationship, friends, don't get me wrong.

I am a very difficult person in terms of love.
As I said, human life, animals, nature, life in short, every living thing that lived in this short time, which for me was the 'Waiting Room', was very valuable to me at some point.

Of course, as I got older, I came to believe in superiority.

This is not racial or religious superiority. Character superiority.

I know that there are people in this world who are far superior to me in character, and so many people have passed away from this world.

For example, I disagree with every opinion of even great people, not because I consider myself superior, but because I value my life.

I was reading a lot. On every subject, history, literature, space, ocean and many more are information that I see my head as useless colors for many people, but for me as little colors that touch my life.

I would look at the world age, while people generally tend to only be aware of what is happening in their own country.

Even though my religion was different, I always used to quote people from many Prophets.

Jesus Christ, I learned that Yusuf, Ibrahim, Muhammad, Noah, they all knew their lives and how they coped in their difficult moments, that this world could not always be sunny for me even when I was treating them badly.

The biggest problem with me being a very empathetic person is thinking too much and feeling too much.

While I am looking for a way to get over the bad situation I experienced yesterday, it makes me angry that people around me see it as a 'joke' and laugh.

That's why I'm bothering you at one point.

As human beings, everyone needs to share.

At the age of six, I realized that my environment was not listening to me.
There was a mother and a father, but there was no family.

I understood that too.

I focused on myself. I closed in on myself, I was so closed that I wrote. I wrote, drew and dreamed for years.

I went to a psychiatrist, a psychologist, but it didn't work. In fact, due to the wrong choice of doctor, I became afraid of hospitals and doctors.

Over the years, diseases showed up and I died as a result of wrong treatment.

This was not important. I know that death will always find me.
Who died who died, will the world be left to me, the logic was always with me.

Going to work with stitches in my mouth, going to school and work with an open wound, rush to get rid of the earthquake and many more.

I also knew I was alone. It wasn't a problem.

I used to make suicide jokes about myself all the time. I used to make jokes about myself, this is how I softened my traumas.

But the image I saw yesterday, I guess that's why it hurt me so much.

Other people can be cold-blooded, but I wasn't like that. I just learned to live and write my feelings inside.

I couldn't sleep at night and tried to put myself to sleep with alcohol, it worked. (I wish I could relax myself in other ways, but unfortunately it doesn't work)

I am not an alcoholic. It just feels good to have a glass of something after a stressful and tired day.
I mean, friends, people have different reactions to everything.
That's why every person is unique and valuable.

There are not always people around you who understand you, but respect, respect for their unhappiness or happiness, even if you just sit quietly next to that person, you can help them a lot.

Just don't underestimate the fact that her unhappiness is small, that she's upset about it. Everyone's pain is different, and the way they look and feel is different.

Don't tell them how small their happiness is, how they can be happy with something so small, or that their happiness will be short-lived.

If you can't support them with words, be there physically and just hug them.

Because being alone is nice, but it's not always.

And the brother who left himself like a basket from the building on June 23.

What was your problem, did you run out of solutions to the problems life presented to you, or did you have no desire for anything anymore, did you not want to see another spring, was it so strong that you wanted to return to the creator you are human, or as I said, what happened? I don't know what triggered you to let go, but you will always be remembered by a twenty-one year old girl.

I won't be a very important person in my life, but you will remain someone I will never forget.

Being in the same environment with death for the first time is a reminder of how precious life is but how fragile human beings are.
Maybe you've been dealing with a psychological problem for too long, I don't know.

I don't know anything about you, but I'd rather hear your laughter or your cries than the sound of your body hitting the concrete.

"Life is like falling from a building, in an apartment, loving someone at first sight. You're late, or you find them early, or the situations you both are in don't allow, but you know how to reunite. You loved and passed from this heart. It hurts to love, but it's good to love. Love in your life
. Keep it up. Rejoice, friends. Even if you don't always get a response."

Rest in peace. Let the lights show you the way home.
🥀🕯️