𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 | 𝐌.𝐑.

53 | Breathe

EVELYN NOTT

I may have many acquaintances and connections but I feel not connected or truly understood by any of them. I feel disconnected from my own emotions and thoughts, making it difficult for me to form genuine relationships. I've always have had a fear of opening up and being vulnerable to others, which could lead to feelings of loneliness despite having a large group of friends.

To others, I appeared outgoing, easy to talk to. A wide circle of friends, and people may perceive me as being 'popular' and well-liked.

Despite the many people I did speak to, I felt a deep sense of loneliness, and isolation that I cannot untangle the truth to.

After everything, the breaking down in front of the dark lord's son in complete anger and confusion... I still feel like I can't breathe.

My chest is tight, and every breath I take feels like it's not enough. I just found out the truth about something, and it's like my whole world has been turned upside down.

My mind is racing with questions and doubts. How could this happen? Why didn't Theodore ever think to speak to me about this? What does this mean for me and Theodore? I feel like I've been living in a lie, and now that the truth is out, I don't know what to do.

I try to take deep breaths, but it's like my body won't let me. It's like I'm suffocating under the weight of this new knowledge. I want to scream, to cry, to run away and hide, but I can't.

I'm stuck here, trapped in my own body, struggling to come to terms with what I've just learned.

I know that I need to face this, that I can't keep hiding from the truth. But right now, in this moment, all I can think about is how I can't breathe. How every breath is a struggle. How I wish I could just disappear and make it all go away.

And then I feel his fingers interlocking with mine, holding me so close and his voice was faint, but loud enough to hear him telling me to breathe.

He holds both of my hands in his with just one of his to stop the trembling of my own. His other hand caressing the back of my head, holding my head against his firm chest.

"I need to get you back to your dorm." He tries to stand the both of us up and achieves.

"No— I need to see my brother. Or should I even call him that?" I swallowed thickly, looking down at the ground.

"Listen to me. You can't see your brother right now. And just because Theodore's parents hid something from you doesn't mean you and Theodore any less of siblings." He moves the strand of hair in my face behind my ear.

"You're wrong! He isn't even my brother— we aren't blood. He's just someone I thought—" I stammered, trying my best to not collapse back onto the floor, again.

"No. You're wrong. Family isn't blood, family is who you'd bleed for. Look at me and tell me you wouldn't do anything for Theodore." His hand grabs my face, making me look directly at him.

"I would do anything for him."

"He is your family, blood or not. Do you understand me?" His eyes pierce into mine, letting me know that he was serious.

I nodded, my mind still foggy, and I can't think straight. Everything was so overwhelming and my muscles felt sore while my face burned from crying so much.