No Dogs Allowed

Finless Fish (HookLineSinker)

(ty for reading, your presence is much appreciated)

(EDITED)
(Note to readers: Some chapters ahead may not be fixed to be in line with the new edits)

If there's one thing in my life I'll never have, it's some peace and fucking quiet.

"Cobayo? Hey, hey, sleepyhead, hey there. Wake up. Rise and shine."

I blinked blearily, groaning. I cracked an eye wide open.

Diego smiled down at me, a foot from my face, and waved hello. "Good morning, beautiful," he said. "Sweet dreams?"

I screamed. Diego screamed. Someone else screamed and I continued screaming while looking to see who, spotting Meredith. But Meredith didn't live with us and therefore I kept screaming. Someone was next to her, not screaming, and was Rosalie. But Rosalie was a jackass so I kept screaming still.

"Why are we screaming?" Meredith screamed.

"When are you all not?" Rosalie sighed.

I launched myself out of bed too fast. I scrambled for balance only to send myself reeling off the sheets and slamming onto the ground. The impact shot the breath out of my lungs. I flailed, knocking my elbow right into the bed stand, and screamed again.

"Oh, my God, is he okay?" Meredith gasped.

"He's fragile! Get the doctor!" Diego screeched.

"I'm not getting anyone," Rosalie yelled.

The door slammed open.

"What. The. Fuck," Kane roared.

I sprung up, teetering with lighthead exhaustion and the lingering shock of being ambushed in the black dawn.

"We've...been...infiltrated," I gasped. I pointed mindlessly at the suspects. "Sick 'em."

Meredith made an "aw" sound at Kane. "Did you fluff your hair, King?" she asked, smiling. "It looks very cute."

"There's no sicking," I wheezed. "Why is there no sicking?"

"We're just doing what you told us to," Diego argued.

Rosalie held up a hand. "I said it was a bad idea."

Kane pushed his hair back, which was indeed a bit fluffed from his sleep. Shadows still clung beneath his eyes, and his T-shirt was lopsided from his hurried awakening, revealing the black tattoo curling around his throat. If looks could do the sicking for me.

"Are you all sharing one fucking functioning brain cell?" he hissed. "It's four in the morning. I said four as in PM."

"Well," Diego protested. "That wasn't clear."

"I told you it was PM," Rosalie murmured. "I can't believe I got dressed for this."

"Yes, thank Rosie, who knows everything."

"Thank Diego, who knows nothing."

"You all hungry? You want breakfast? I make a mean omelet."

"Michin nom," Kane muttered, rubbing his eyes. "I don't get paid enough."

Meredith glanced at me. "Is that a HELLO KITTY T-shirt?"

I looked down at my long sleeve, which was the kitty herself and her friends as sushi rolls. It didn't seem like the most pressing issue. "I'm not answering anything from a bunch of intruders," I said. "This is criminal charges in the making. Get me a gavel, we'll have the case right now. You look like you have a gavel on you. You got a gavel on you?"