Mind Games (Avengers Wrong Number Fugitive [Natasha Romanoff x teen])

21. That Word... Manipulation. I Don't Like It.

A/N HOW IN ONE CHAPTER I GOT FROM JUST OVER 5K TO 8K?? YOU GUYS... OML

TW: Mentions of rape and sexual assault (non explicit)

August's POV

There're a few steps in Hydra torture, but they always progressively get worse.

I can manage the first one: Isolation and starvation. That's nothing new and when we move onto phase two, I'm still isolated and starved most of the time. Even on my own, I didn't have much food. Abby tried, but I never had an appetite. 

I lose track of the days as they prepare me for whatever's to come. Probably that manipulation simulator. I'm going to have to remind myself it's fake. Everything will be fake, I have to think about that always.

Soon enough I'm moved to a new cell, this time see through, though it's made out of stolen vibranium. There's power deafening material throughout the prison, used to weaken me further from my starved and broken state. I'm not comfortable, but I never am. 

But I was. 

Days ago in Natasha's arms. I hate myself for it, but something was different. And when I didn't know it was her texting... she showed true compassion and care. And sometimes past that time... maybe that was the way she expressed that she wanted me to heal. Gosh, I wish I wasn't me. I wish I wasn't the orphan and the manipulated. Maybe I would still be loved.

But I'm not.

I hum to the tune 'When Emma Falls in Love' to ease my nerves of what's to come. I hope I'm not going to be trapped inside my mind this time. I hope I'm just going to be abused. I hope I'm just going to be hit, slapped, burned... even mind controlled. But not that one thing that they only use on the powerful and the strong minded. I wish I wasn't.

Manipulation, what a word. 

Phase two started off with beatings as per usual, and drowning in water right until I'm about to faint. They were asking me for codes and other things I didn't know. How was I supposed to? I was kidnapped by the superheroes, not offered a spot on the team. I'm too much of a menace to be asked to be an Avenger. I tried lying to them, but with the pain came a lie detector. And if I had known the answers to their questions, I don't anymore.

In my sleep I imagined my time when I could text Natasha and laugh. Make her most likely laugh. The times she was harsh... but kind. Even when she was interrogating me, I felt that sense of comfort. Something I didn't recognize at the time.

Maybe I did hate her, but Yelena told me Tasha didn't always have a choice either. Or didn't recognize she did when she was just beginning to work for SHIELD. Maybe only in the light of the Avengers she learned she doesn't always have to say yes. I love Yelena and the love she radiates. She felt like a sister, she felt like Ronan. But my mom, Margot... she cared even more so than Ronan or Yelena ever could. Natasha cascaded the warmth of my mom thinking back on it. Somehow she did. I wish I knew it then.

I want a hug.

I won't get a hug.

I'm getting kicks instead.

This wouldn't happen to Emma. Or Betty. Or even James.

This wouldn't happen to Taylor Swift's Augustine. 

⧗⧗⧗⧗

I'm tied to a wall right now, we're into phase three. I'm always here, for someone to use to take their anger out on. Rape isn't allowed because it takes away my pureness and ability to fight without such a demanding, recurring traumatic memory. They know, well as I, it doesn't lead to anywhere good in the state of mind. They leave that to manipulation. I don't get the difference in someone's head either, but I'm not allowing someone to use me in such a disgusting way.

I'm stripped to underwear and a bra and left to be cut, burned, punched, hit, groped, and more. No one is allowed to permanently damage my face. It creates a bad image for when they finally start using Manifest again. 

I don't know how much time has passed since I was first brought in. More than a few weeks? Less than a year?

As someone's holding a match to to the inside of my arm I hear an alarm blare. Outsiders. I can't say this hasn't happened before in my unwilling stay. But this base is protected, anyone trying is left to fail and die.

But the Hydra goon leaves to go fight, and I try and maybe get a little bit of sleep. It's useless to try and get out. I'm skin and bones right now, they haven't brought me back from the grave. They want to rebuild me, to start from scratch.

I shut my eyes, taking in a deep breath before letting it pass my lips. Over and over I do this, trying to stay calm. I'm not getting out, I know that, but my hope hasn't faded into nothingness yet. It should.

"Hey, kid. It's okay. Keep breathing, alright?" That's when I hear her voice. This is the manipulation, this isn't real. Nothing's real. Tasha isn't here!

"Can you open your eyes for me? It's alright if you can't, but I'm here to get you out of."

My breathing picks up, the opposite of what she wants. This isn't real. I wish it was, but it's not. But then I drop off the wall, right into her arms. She let me free. I try so hard not to sink into her arms... but I do.

"They haven't been feeding you, August?" I shake my head in her neck. I know this is fake, I won't tell her anything.

She knows, well as I, that I don't believe she's actually here. 

"August, I promise you I'm real. How can I prove it to you?"

Tears start to fall from my eyes as I get out of her embrace, holding onto the wall for support. "Natasha, you can't. There's no way you can."

"Please, August. I'll try!"

I nod, too scared to use my words. Maybe this is real... but it can't be. 

"We were in the alley, you'd run away from me because I didn't answer your question about the murder of your family. I didn't... I promise you. I would never willingly kill after my history. But then you had a flashback, and you were mumbling in Russian... and then you were running away from me again. But when I ran after you, you disappeared. You were no where. Yelena didn't have you, and you didn't answer your phone. Not even for Abigail, or Peter, or even MJ! You've been gone for months. And... that's when I realized I care about you. So much. Please, I found you and I won't let you go again. Please... please believe me!"

She sounds so desperate, nothing like I've heard before. Natasha looks weak... vulnerable even. This has never been in any simulation before. This would be new. And there's too much information about my personal life. About the people in my life. Their equipment could be updated, but unlikely.

I stumble forward, hugging her. "Alright, you got me," I whisper, and she holds me tighter.

⧗⧗⧗⧗

Everyone is careful with me in the Quinjet, although Bruce helps patch me up. I don't know what they're going to do with me yet but I know I'm not going to the Raft. Maybe they'll help set up a safe house, but if they force me on the team I'm running away. I'm not going to escape one manipulative, psycho group that mind controls me into fighting for them, just to be forced to fight for another.

I was lying on the medical bench when I felt the jet land. Yelena helps me up, and I lean on her weight as we walk out the door. I must've lost conscious or I wasn't too far away.

We're right behind Steve, who types in the digits to unlock the door to the Compound. 052970. Tony Stark's birthday, and he calls himself a genius. That's the information Hydra wanted. 

All of a sudden I feel whiplash, and I'm brought back into a chair. Where I'm tied down by my ankles, wrists, stomach and neck. I can feel the pulse of the energy coursing into my brain, projecting the falsified images. No no no no no. 

I look down at my arms with my eyes. They still have meat on them. It hasn't been months. 

Manipulation. I've been through all of the phases of Hydra torture... yet only the last all at the same time.