You and I >>> T. Shelby {O.H.}

Nine

Thomas never returned that night leaving Gwen riddled with guilt. She couldn't help it, she still felt so lost when it came to him. He was a maze she couldn't find the end or start to. They were making progress and she had to screw it up. The next morning Gwen joined Polly at the dining table.

"Why do you look like you only got an hour of sleep?" Gwen slumped down in her chair, shakily pulling out a cigarette. Polly put down the paper she was reading and looked at the woman with concern.

"Because I did. Just had some things on my mind." She took a long drag of her cigarette to ease the anxiousness she was feeling.

"Come on, Gwen, talk to Aunt Pol about your troubles." She patted her hand comfortingly on Gwens cool ones. Offering a weak smile she took another drag.

"Tommy came home last night when I was bathing....and he joined me. He didn't do anything in particular but he tried to initiate things and I....well, I panicked." Polly scoffed.

"That man, I swear, they only think with what's between their legs." Polly poured an extra cup of tea before sliding it in front of the Shelby woman.

"Thank you." She took a long sip quenching her thirst.

"I'll talk to Thomas." Gwen shook her head ready to protest. "No it's all right love. That man has not the slightest idea on how to act around you since he's been back."

"I just want him to act how he normally would but I understand the war changed him and I'm not the woman he fell in love with."

"Don't say that Gwyneth, it may not seem like it but that man would walk the ends of the earth for you. He's just thick headed." The reassurance made her feel a bit better. She glanced at the time and swore to herself.

"Shit! I'll be late for my shift." Stubbing out her cigarette she quickly got up but not before Polly grabbed her hand.

"Easy love, Harry won't mind if you're late, take your time." Smiling gratefully at Polly she bid her goodbyes and left.

-
Tom woke up just before the sun came up. He didn't mean to fall asleep but he did. He sat up from the bed he was on, quiet as to not wake the woman next to him. Shame started to creep its way through his veins. This wouldn't be the first time he's laid with another woman since returning from war. He justified it in his mind that he deserved a break and that his wife will never find out....or his family. His brothers were allowed to whore around so why couldn't he?

What would his Gwyneth say? The old Gwen would've beat him and the woman black and blue, she was headstrong and stubborn but she was a kind girl. Though he still sees that in her but now there was a certain timidness to her that made him hesitant. Last night however he tried to rip that bandage off. He wanted his wife. His Gwen. She looked liked her but she wasn't her. A part of him blamed himself because he wasn't there. But what could he do? He didn't sign up for this. He didn't sign up for any of it.

-

The bar was close to empty, it was just Grace and Gwen as Harry took the night shift with Grace. She watched Grace stand by the door before moving through the place to the back door to dump one of the tin buckets. She can hear muffled voices as she can hear Grace talking with someone outside. The deep brummie accent caught her off guard. Tommy was there. An unsettling feeling washed over her. She felt herself fluster at the thought of him nude. He was handsome but very intimate. Gwen felt humiliated but was conflicted.

Soon after Grace came back with a smile on her face. She smiled at the woman though it felt strained.

"What's got you all smiley?" She asked. Grace frowned when looking at the woman. A moment of shame filled Grace for she now saw Gwen as a harmless bystander, who is oblivious to her husband's activities. Grace knew the moment her sources told her he was having an affair she would be able to find a way in.

"I was just invited to the races." She stated calmly and softly.

"Oh? By who, may I ask?" Grace cast a look down avoiding the Shelby woman's eye line.

"Just some gentleman, it isn't a big predicament ." She stated, looking back up cautiously at Gwen. Her face was blank as a canvas, her dark eyes were intimidating and in that moment she could understand the attraction to her. She seemed to be a nice person but that doesn't make her good.

Gwen hummed in response before she began cleaning the counter tops. Grace lied to her. But she's not the only one.

Gwen felt numb, her eyes staring off as she followed the same motions to the counter top before she snapped herself out of her gaze. She felt calm, utterly calm. The light tremor in her hand suggested otherwise but she told herself she was calm.

The rest of the work day was uneventful or at least for Gwen it was. Business started to pick up by 5pm and she couldn't be happier to leave, once Harry came in Gwen was gone. She needed a drink but didn't want to be around Grace drunk, if she chose it.

But instead of going home she went to the church where she sat in a pew and stared at the altar. She was unsure of her next steps. She did not mind her life. She cared about everyone including Tom. Gwen couldn't bare the thought of being out alone in the world, especially now when she has no other family to turn to.

The doors of the church creaked open, Gwen remained still as she sat there. Heels clacked against the stone floor. A light breeze swept by her as Polly came into her peripheral view. Polly looked at the woman who wore a sullen expression on her face and felt pity.

"What happened?" Gwen remained silent. Pol rested a hand on the girls arm trying to get her to look her in the eyes. Finally she did as new tears formed.

"Tommy asked Grace to the races."

"I'm sure that-"

"No, Polly. He asked her right outside the pub where I was working. I just...I don't know. I don't know what to think or even feel about it. I just....I feel so lost Pol." More tears streamed down her face as she began to sob. Polly brought her arms around the woman, hugging her comfortingly. She emphasized with the girl. Anger and annoyance with her nephew rising to another depth. She would surely have a word the next time she saw him.

"I don't know who I am-" Polly pulled back and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Your name is Gwyneth Marie Pierce-Shelby. That will never change, you have been with us for a long time, and your stuck with us. We are your family as you are ours. Whether you hold the Shelby name or not you are one of us." Gwyn hugged the gypsy woman again. She doesn't remember her mother, but she likes to think this is what it's like to have a mom.

~

Unedited

Vote/Comment
robbstark_