Oshi no Ko - What If, Gorou's Edition

Soft & Wet

After that moment under the tree before the cafeteria, we entered a secret relationship that, back when I was still "enrolling" in Lala Lai, would be a dream placed atop a wall I thought insurmountable, a goal impossible for me to reach. The beginning was a doozy through and through. We would sit together during lunchtime. We would spend our recess together, with him helping me with my schoolwork and sometimes me with his. We would wait for each other at our promised spot every day after school ended. I shared with him stories only "insiders" would know and he in turn would tell me about the books he read. I have always taken Miki-kun for the bookworm type, but it turned out he wasn't that much into them, just the type he wanted to read. "Ningen Shikaku"... how naive I was at the time to never have made the connection.

Eyes of envy of course started to prop up and train on us every time we would accompany each other. Which was to say... anytime that wasn't class time? His "fans" would still gather, but now they always stayed a distance away, long enough that they thought we wouldn't notice. But how couldn't we? I at times relished the triumphant feeling of being so close to the most sought-after boy at school, but the jubilations were always short-lived.

Looking back, I think to the bystanders, we probably looked more like siblings who went to the same school than two teenagers in a romantic relationship. That was probably why I was spared the pain of being bullied by those writhing in jealousy. But are there any brothers and sisters who still hold hands when they're already at that age...? It was hard to believe that no one would make an attempt on Miki-kun either. It was... too peaceful, in a too convenient way... So after a while, it just became mundane, just another part of my daily schedule... I knew I was doing Miki-kun a favour, but I also wanted something more. Something... real.

"Ai-chan? Are you not feeling well?" - the music paused and Nino-chan asked the emotionless me. - "Should we stop for today?"

Ah... I made a mistake in my choreography. That was the part I was supposed to slink backward to give space for Mei-chan's and Kyun-chan's movements... Why was it that the me in the mirror refused to budge?

Why didn't Miki-kun make any more moves on me?

Without thinking, my mouth spewed out yet another lie.

"N-no!!" - my hands acted on their own with frantic motions, and my face broke into an embarrassed grin. - "I was just thinking about the math test I'll have next week! I'm so sorry!!!!"

A perfect performance.

Taka-nee gave my shoulder a few pats, saying we should take a break regardless, as the colours of our shirts have already gone a few shades darker thanks to all the sweats. We then each helped ourselves with a bottle inside the ice box.

The carbonated drink tasted the same as how I felt about the relationship. Bland, although it wasn't supposed to.

Fake. It was all fake.

I wanted something more.

I looked at myself in the mirror again. Was there something missing?

Was there something else Miki-kun looked for that I wasn't capable of giving?

I had to do something. I refused to let the chance slip away.

That day, we had a "date" planned out in Shibuya. Miki-kun suggested going to Starbucks. The drinks would be on him because his "coffer just got refilled". I checked the address of the store he told me about: it was the same one Ichigo-san "lured" me in with a frappuccino, the same place where I agreed to start going on the path of an idol. We would probably just order two drinks, sit down and chat about whatever it may be. And then when the sun went down, we would split our ways again. Rinse and repeat.