Loving Kinnick (Rewritten 2023)

Chapter Eleven

 The moment our professor dismissed us, I slid out of my seat without worrying about who waited for me. I could hear Chrissy calling out my name, but I didn't need a lecture in between my other ones. So, I pretended to be oblivious to her pleas for me to stop and I continued out of the door.

 Somewhere in the crowd, I lost Kinnick. I am not sure if I wanted to thank him one last time or if I needed the distraction; he provided me again. All I knew was the way his hand felt on my knee made the stirring feeling still. He was a roadblock, stopping me from continuing down a path of chaos.

 When I stepped into the library doors, I waved at the lady behind the desk before moving toward the stairs. My heart ached for the relief I found when surrounded by the cathedral windows created by stained glass. The safety amongst bookshelves engulfed me, swallowing any ounce of fear or anxiety I may have felt earlier.

A plethora of rainbows cast down on my yellow backpack. Sometimes I wanted to believe it had my mom visiting me, but then I would realize there isn't a point in believing silly things.

 "What are you doing?"

 My head snapped up to find Kinnick hiding at the opposite end of the table. "Uh—sitting here."

 I watched his eyes roll before he gently closed the book around his finger. "I know, but why are you sitting so far away?"

 "I didn't know you were in here and I wouldn't want to distract you."

 "I came here to sit with you," he gathered his things. "Do you think I wouldn't catch on? I know you come here around two every afternoon."

 "You came here for me?"

 "I would haven't cancelled my afternoon training session with John if I didn't want to be here with you."

 His words knocked the air from my lungs, but I quickly gained composure. "I won't be much company. I have an essay to work on. You might get bored with me."

 "Well, I have a book to read," he motioned to the novel in his hand. "So, you write your essay and I'll finish this."

 He wasn't asking me if I was okay with that because he spread the pages of his book and his eyes fell victim to the story below him. My lips parted in disbelief. No one ever canceled their plans for me. Even my friends would find excuses to not be around me if they could, so I stopped asking them to. They didn't know how to handle my situation, and that's okay. I never wanted them to. I just didn't want to feel alone anymore. No matter what I did, I always was.

 I know I should start my essay, but somehow, overthinking would always stop me from tapping into my assignments. Yet, I stopped thinking about what Luke said earlier, and now I am focusing on the way the man in front of me reads his book.

 He propped both of his legs on the chairs beside him as the novel rested on top of his thighs. He continued to brush the strands of hair dangling from his head as he focused on the book in his hands. He read with such focus that nothing existed outside of his fantasy world. I listened to him bite his already short nails as the concern on his face deepened, and I wondered if he read for the same reasons I did. I invested myself in my character's problems because it stole me away from my own, and somehow, in the end, it always worked out. So, I can only manifest that it happens to me.

 As I tried to peer further over the laptop screen in front of me, I couldn't help but lose the fear of being caught. His brows were pinched together, a deep glare fixed on his face as he looked down at the words on the pages. My teeth sunk into my lip as I tried to stifle my laughter, but I couldn't help the snort that came out.