Lucifer's pov
Dear.. the human race is pretty annoying, but I do wonder about my feelings with my wife. We went back to her place before the shop. "Hey, mortal?" I couldn't exactly remember what their name was, but I didn't really care.
"What is it? Also, my name is (y/n). It sounds a little weird being called a mortal, especially by someone who also looks like one." She said.
"Yeah (y/n), whatever. I do have a question since I don't understand your human logic." I gave them a glare. I've never been interested in humans, except Lilith... I did feel my heart sink farther than the titanic that one time...
"Lay it on me, I guess." I heard (y/n) say. I've heard that from my wife multiple times before. It was an interesting way to say tell me. "So, hypothetically.. What if a human were to have a partner but start doing sexual things with other men?"
"Well, first of all, that's cheating. And if you don't know what it means. It's a way to show that you're not loyal to a person. They're usually a lying asshole and tend not to love the other person as well. It can be as simple as a kiss to a one night stand. They're basically just using you at that point. In my perspective, of course. That has happened to my parents before." She then took a sip of her drink.
"So that's a horrible thing to do. What about humans on their phone addictions? I see these well drawn men or women, and humans are always all over the place. Head over heals! What's with you mortals?" I folded my arms in confusion.
Y/n pov
"Yeah, no.. it's usually people being overly obsessed with drawn men or women because they're either horny or just lonely. I'm the lonely type. Some of them, however, can think of them as their best friends or children." I scrolled through my phone.
"How in the world did that human race become like this?" Lucifer gave a slight disgusted look while looking me up and down. "I don't know, ask god, he's the one who made all of us anyways." I said with a grumble.
...
"Sorry... I'm guessing you don't have a bond with him? If he does exist.." I went to the kitchen and gave him an apple. He took it and eyed me.
"No, not the 'best'. Also, it wasn't really god who created humans technically. It was one of my brothers ideas. He thought to make an invasive species with creative, curious, and friendly minds. But also being about to trust themselves and unique personalities. Turned differently from what god created them... because there were obstacles," he pointed at himself.
Lucifer then took a bite of the apple. I listened to the whole thing with curiosity. "Is it alright if you tell me more information? That's.. actually interesting." He then looked me up and down and flipped me off. "Nope. I don't trust you yet. Besides, I don't want any mortals going around to spread information that's not supposed to even be on earth. It would be a total hassle when they die."
I groaned, getting slightly irritated, but I also knew where he came from. "I have one more thing to ask."
"Hurry it up then, I don't like my time being wasted." He then bit the apple again.
"Is that snake real or fake? The snake on your hat." He then took off his hat and picked up the snake. "Want to irritate it and find out?" He asks as the snake hisses at me. It's fangs growing out larger than normal snakes.
Pat. :3
"What the hell?" Lucifer says as I gently rub the snakes body softly. "I'm a snake fan, you genius. However, they can still scare me." I say with a smile.
Lucifer groans in annoyance. "I swear you humans don't fear anything! I literally could shape shift my face into something horrific, and you would sit still and think it's normal. I understand in hell, but on earth?" I chucked, then pulled away from the snake.
"We grew up with gore and horrifying monsters that don't exist. There's these things we call titans from this one show that literally eats human beings for lunch, breakfast, dinner, and snacks, and barely anyone in that show is sane. I don't think anyone is at all, to be honest. Tatake," I laughed to myself.
"Maybe I should create some things like that in hell."
"NO THANK YOU. shit, with what our lives are like right now, I'm definitely bound to be in hell, and that's the last thing I want to see. Thank you. I don't want my fate to be with some ugly ass creatures being the cause of my second death." I backed up with a nervous expression. Lucifer then laughed slightly.
"You're very strange that it's somewhat becoming entertaining." He put his hat back on with his snake sleeping on it again. He then stood up back into his original form with his apple staff. "I must go. I guess I'll see you soon you little bitch." He then teleported in thin air as I was about to reply back.
I swear I'm going to put my hands on him if he keeps this bullshit up. >:^
He does have a lovely albino superconda snek though🐍
