Tea For Two

23

Disclaimer: This is part of an original work of fiction. It's mine, and I'd appreciate it if you'd not steal it. Thanks.

~~~

After the initial shock and angry cleaning spree, I don't know how to react.

One thought keeps running through my mind- as soon as I wake up the next morning, the same thought repeats itself: she would have left anyway. Just a few months later, she would have left.

And it's true. She would have left in August, but she didn't. She left this weekend.

I walk to school alone, something I've not done in months. When I get there, I run into Aiden, who asks me where Emily is. I tell him, sounding more confused than I should. He doesn't say anything, just pulls me into a sideways hug. It feels wrong, but if it makes him feel better, I let him.

Lunch is... empty- empty in the way that a snug tee shirt feels after it has been stretched out. We sit on the folded out tailgate of Jonathon's truck, the way we always did, minus one. There's a hole in the lineup between Jonathon and I that he slides to fill in. The hour passes in near silence, because none of us can think of anything to say. Even if one of the guys did come up with something to talk about, I doubt I would have joined the conversation; she was better at that than me.

I have trouble paying attention in class. When I'm left to my thoughts for too long, I start thinking over the last things we said to each other, how I took off, so sure I'd see her again. I run over how she almost looked like there was something she'd rather say when we were talking. I remember how hesitant she was to talk about her summer plans when we were visiting with Marabell. I wish I had known, I would have at least said-

And a teacher will ask me a question, or put an assignment on my desk and pull me out of my mind and into some work or test review that I'm grateful for.

In Physics, we are watching a movie with a substitute teacher. I'm not paying attention, as usual. I really don't care about this subject at all. If I get my way, I'll never have to think about it after this year.

Fidelity sits next to me, writing. Everyone around us is quietly holding their own conversations. My arms are on the tabletop in front of me, palms up. She puts out one hand in mine, causing me to jump a bit and stare.

"I'm so sorry."

That's all she says. I let it hold its own in the air between us, not sure what to say. What did she do to be sorry?

"Why?"

"Emily's a really special person. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you."

"How- "

"I just know things sometimes."

The way she says that makes me feel like she's staring right through me, like she knows what Emily means- meant- no, means, to me. Like she knows I threw out all of the sugar and the stars, and that by the time I get home, the garbage truck will have taken away that bag so I can't take it back even if I want to. Which I don't.

Fidelity is one of those people that sees things and doesn't say anything. She waits for you to say it, if you think it's important. I don't ask her out loud, but I do wonder whether or not she saw anything in how I looked at Emily, or talked about her... I wonder if she saw the small looks and kisses that I was so careful to hide from everyone...

I barely squeeze her hand in mine.

"Thank you."

She doesn't respond, she just gives me a very small, but sad smile.