Deprived

Chapter 51 - Touch

A quickened heartbeat thrummed against his fingertips, making Jesse offer a hesitant smile to Xavier. To the man's credit, he didn't move an inch as he allowed Jesse to slowly trace the Improba's skin.

Each movement he made against Xavier's skin made his stomach churn unpleasantly, fear biting at his heart at the very idea of touching an Improba.

Not just an Improba.

Jesse knew Xavier wasn't like the Improbas he had the misfortune of meeting, his former captives that abused him. His logical self knew that.

Yet with each tiny motion that Xavier made, to feel the quickened heartbeat underneath his fingertips and the shallow breathing was something that Jesse was uncomfortably familiar with.

Yet Xavier was helping Jesse by doing absolutely nothing. Even with the Deprived seated just beside the man's lap, he made no motion to yank Jesse onto his lap, or even reached out to return his affection.

Instead, Xavier smiled warmly as the slight, hesitant touches continued. Allowing Jesse to hesitantly reach for the buttons in Xavier's shirt, eyes flitting up with a silent questioning look.

When Xavier nodded his consent, Jesse shakily unbuttoned the first few buttons before his hand paused midair. Trembling before he curled his fingers, needing to take a few calming breaths as nausea and memories assaulted his senses.

Buttons pinging against the floor and fabric protested as his new client rushed to get undressed. Eying Jesse as if he was a slab of meat he owned-

"It's okay sweetheart." Xavier murmured soothingly as Jesse trembled in fear. "You are safe and protected. You are not there anymore."

He knew that. Jesse knew he had nothing to fear from Xavier. This was the man that had hugged and soothed him through his panic attacks, who had rocked his shivering self back to sleep after the countless nightmares he had. Xavier was safe.

And yet his mind felt Xavier's skin underneath his fingertips and reacted without remorse. His stomach churned slowly, muscles jittery as if preparing to bolt from the couch and jump out the door.

I can do this...

Taking a deep, shaking breath, Jesse blew the air out of his pursed lips. The young man knew exactly why Xavier had been wearing shirts and sweatpants to bed, why he had made sure to never walk around partially undressed.

And judging from the way his heart raced in his chest merely at the sight of Xavier's slowly exposed chest, Jesse was genuinely grateful the Improba had thought ahead.

While part of him was physically and emotionally attracted to Xavier, there was also the past trauma that lingered.

Trauma that only saw an undressed Improba, preparing themselves to release torment and horror upon Jesse's body.

His mind helpfully provided numerous examples of the past, were Jesse's clients had all but torn their clothes of their body, eyes filled with sadistic glee before they pounced.

Just imagining waking up after a nightmare, only to feel Xavier plastered against him skin to skin would've hurled his mind into a frenzy.

But right now, there was a low craving that bubbled to the surface. While Jesse might not be ready to do anything sexual, there was one thing he wanted to do.

"D-don't move, please." Jesse pleaded, feeling bile burn his throat at the mere idea of what he was going to do. Xavier simply smiled, eying Jesse with a soft warmness that gave him the courage he needed.