Finding Myself

Chapter 46

Ethan's pov

I was on my way home from work , it was late ,so I knew everyone would be asleep

I'm so glad I have my daughter back ,even if we aren't close now , we will eventually,I just know it

I turn on my road when I see fire trucks and police cars and flashing lights everywhere,people were outside gawking

Oh no hope whoever's house it was is ok

I park where I can which is a ways away from my house ,I get out of the car and start walking through the mess of cars, as I get closer ,I realize ....

Wait! It's my house!!! Nooo

" Isabella!! Luke !! Sammy!!!" I yell and take off running

" No sir ,we can not have you near this area it's dangerous!" A policeman says while holding me back

" No my family is in there ,I have to go !!" I yell and pull myself free

" Sir!!" He yells at me ,but I keep running

I run and push my way through the crowd of firefighters, most of them trying to stop me

I go towards the smoke and I can't see anything , the smoke was to thick , it went in my lungs and I start coughing

" Sir " I feel hands grab me and pull me away from the house

I feel something being put on my face and I realize it's oxygen, I take deep breaths as I am instructed , coughing alittle as I do

" Did ..did you find anyone ?! Did they make it out ?" I ask

" Sir ,we found two people who made it out ,their lungs were filled with alittle smoke and they have minor burns ,they are at the hospital now ,getting looked at , I think you should get looked at too ,so we will take you there "

" Was there a little girl ?" My eyes pleaded , I so much wanted her to say yes , but there was only two ? I hurt just thinking of who we lost

" No , there was no girl " he answered

" Please ,please tell me your lying!!! She's my little girl !!!" I yell and try punching the man but he dodges and yells for help

Two men come and try to calm me down ,but I can't ,I lost my little girl again!! Noooooooo

I fall on my knees and cry......

" Sir , sir , wake up sir" a lady says

I slowly open my eyes and I realized I'm on a hospital bed

Beep beep beep

That sound was only to be heard

" Wait , where's Luke and Sammy ?" I say

" Their in the other room , they want to see you " she says

I slowly get up and tears fill my eyes but I push them back ,I follow the lady to the other room and see both Luke and Sammy in the same room ,both on different beds, as soon as they saw me they started to cry and I went over and hugged Sammy then Luke

" I'm so sorry man. We looked everywhere for her ,but they pulled us out and took us here " Luke said

I look at them ,they were on oxygen and some parts of their arm or head were wrapped up , they tried to save my little girl , why me ? Why me ? Why did I lose my little girl yet again and this time I know I'll never get her back.

" Don't blame yourselves, I'm very glad you guys are ok , just my..my little girl " I stop and start crying again

Luke tries to get up but I just go to him and he hugs me

" I'm sorry man ,I feel your pain ,I feel like I lost a daughter too , she was everything to me too " Luke says

Sammy is silently crying and I feel a need to comfort him ,I go to him and hold him

" I..I tried  ..I wish there was a way , I wish I could of saved her !" He says crying in my arms

" Don't blame yourself Sammy , you were her best friend and she loved you , she is now in a better place " I say ,but in the back of my head something just didn't seem right

A few hours later I find myself talking to one of the police officers that were at the fire

" There was no sign of a body " he suprised me by saying

" Wait ,what ? Does that me ?" I said

He holds up a hand

" Wait,now don't get ahead of yourself,but I'm pretty sure she made it out alive "

Relief feels me

" Do you know where she might be ? If she made it out , she shouldn't have made it far right?" I ask

" That's the thing ,we have looked for hours ,up and down the street and roads ,no sign of her , I'm not sure what else to do , I'm sorry man"

" Wait you can't just stop looking for her !"

" Sir ,I need you to calm down. We have been looking for over 24 hours , with absolutely no sign of her , my crew is tried , maybe we can start again in the morning,but for right now ,we are are giving it a rest "

I can't explain the pain I feel again , the first time I lost my little was so wrong ,she was taken by my friends ,now this? Was she taken again? Did she run away? What if she hates me ?..........

Luke was sitting on the couch , it has been about a week and still no sign of Isabella

" Luke ,I'm going out " I say

" Ethan ,you have been going out and looking for her everyday , she means a lot to us I know and I hate to tell you this but I think you should take a break. You haven't eaten or slept in days and this needs to stop before something bad happens to you "

I just look at him like he grew two heads

" Your asking ME , to stop looking for MY daughter?"

" No man ,I'm just saying to take a break ,get some rest and food in you ,that way you can think more clearing and that way you don't get sick and go in depression"

" I already am " I say as tears yet again fall down my face

"  All I do is cry and hate myself for leaving her that night ,I think if I  had been there ,she would still be here!!" I yell

" Stop blaming yourself!!!" Luke yells

" Well we both know it's my fault !!!! Just admit it !!  I'm not a good enough father to her ,that's why she left !!! Huh ! Just admit it!! " I yell

" No I will not admit that , because it's not true , you are the perfect father to her , you both deserve each other and I know how much this hurts you , but you also need to take care of yourself too, what if she comes back ? She doesn't want to see her father sick , does she??" Luke tells me

I sigh

" Your right " I sit on the couch and sit there deep in thought ,we both don't say anything for awhile , until Luke breaks the silence.

" We are all hurting , Sammy is not doing good , he stopped doing everything that reminds him of her , he won't even talk to me about her"

" Umm , we will find her ,even if it take me my whole life ...I will find her"