About A Girl

Chapter 16 - The Thing About Getting What You Want

"Fake pays, but at what cost?"
- The Maine

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Here's the thing about getting what you want.

There's always going to be a small part of you that's afraid you're going to lose it.

I'll admit, things with Mia this weekend definitely could've gone smoother, but the end result was still better than I could've imagined.

She said she likes me, that she wants to give this a chance - to give us a chance.

Today's the first time I'm going to see her since the track meet this past Saturday, and I'm more than excited, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

I know, I know. It's ridiculous to be this worked up about things. I mean, all we did was say we like each other. Jesus, kindergarteners do that, but honestly, it's the idea of what comes next that has me feeling restless.

After everything Mia told me about what happened between her and Sean, the last thing I want is to be another reason that she doesn't trust people, to be another reason she regrets letting her walls down.

I told her she could trust me, and I meant it, but over the past couple of days, all I've been able to think about is how I might not deserve it.

I know that things have changed between us. I'm a different guy now than I was when we met, and a lot of that is because of her. She's the reason I stopped lying to myself, to everyone, and I've probably been more honest with her than I've been with anybody in a long time.

Still, it doesn't change the fact that I lied to her, and no matter how much I want it to, that isn't just going to go away.

So I spent the better part of the weekend trying to think of ways to make it up to her, ways to prove to myself that I actually deserve this chance she's given me. By the time my alarm goes off on Monday morning, I swear I'm close to a breakthrough. Of course, that's when the voices start to drift in from downstairs.

And by "drift in," I mean break through the silence like a damn wrecking ball.

My parents have been going at each other all weekend, and it's been exhausting to say the least. It doesn't get this bad very often. I guess they usually aren't around long enough to let it, but occasionally, they do end up having to spend some actual time together.

Honestly, I think this is the longest they've spent under the same roof in about six months, and judging by what I just heard my mom call my dad, I'm guessing they didn't exactly use the time to bond.

You'd think I'd be used to it by now, to hearing the way they talk to each other.

Jesus, the things they say to each other.

But maybe there's a part of you that can never really get used to something like that, that can never truly accept it as normal.

Before they can get too loud again, I drag myself out of bed and head to the shower, hoping to drown out the noise. Thankfully, by the time I emerge nearly twenty minutes later, things have finally quieted down, and I'm able to get ready for school in peace.

I get dressed and run a tower over hair while looking around for wherever the hell I must've tossed my tie on Friday.

Trust me, whoever convinced the world that school uniforms make getting dressed in the mornings easier has never had to dig through week old laundry for a stupid tie at seven in the morning.

Once I finally manage to find it balled up in the corner of my room, I finish getting dressed and grab my backpack, preparing to head out. If I don't leave now, I'll be late for walking Mia to school.