"Soo.... "
"So? What did you want? Why have you been calling me non-stop all weekend? "
"MILHOUSE VAN HOUTEN. " His mother gave him a sharp look.
"How can I help you. Lisa." He slipped through gritted teeth.
"I was just wondering if I could come over and hang out! "
Luann interrupted before Milhouse even got the chance to think of an excuse. "I already have someone coming over tonight, " she giggled.
Milhouse sighed.
"Butttt, I was going to look for a babysitter for him, maybe he should just stay at your house instead! "
M-dog's life flashed before his eyes. This could not be happening.
"GREAT! " Lisa's eyes twinkled, "I'll ask my mom! "
The call ended.
"Shouldn't you be leaving soon? "
Milhouse ran into his room to grab his bag , at the opportunity. He kicked his phone across the floor in frustration, before carefully picking it up, in the knowledge that he'd be subjected to Lisa at school all day today anyway, and now for the entire night after too. His head spun just thinking about it.
"BUS IS HERE. " Luann yelled from the living room.
M-Dog took his sweet time.
"YOOO M-DOG," Otto slurred "NICE SPECS , MANN"
"Freshly-taped." He bragged.
"One seat left, man"
Milhouse turned to the isles and scanned for the deviant he'd be subjected to for the next half hour straight. Anyone but lisa . Anyone but lisa. Anyone but lisa. Ralph.
M-dog let out a half sigh, and sat down.
"I like looking at your eyebrows"
M-Dog kept his eyes on the road for the majority of the journey; Ralph was surprisingly easy to tune out, when he wasn't tugging on your shirt sleeve, of course.
"WHAT." Milhouse exploded.
"I think I peed," Ralph frowned, covered in pee.
"I don't think you did. " Milhouse gaslit. This was not his problem to resolve.
"Okay! " Ralph smiled unknowingly, back to humming a singular note, yet somehow being off-pitch, for the duration of the trip.
"End of the line, dudes" Otto halted.
A sea of children swarmed out of the rickety bus.
Principal Skinner grew pale as more and more emerged, as if watching stunt clowns climb out of a miniature car. "I was in the military, yknow? " he turned to his superior.
"I don't care. " Gary Chalmers retorted.
"Right onn.. Sirr?"
"Don't call me that. "
"Okay." He straightened his posture. "I just meant, I could've still been doing that, instead of ... This. "
"And I meant that I didn't care, Seymour. " The superintendent headed towards the building.
"Understood." Skinners followed.
YOU ARE READING
The Life And Death Of Milhouse Van Houten
Non-FictionMilhouse is long over his crush on Lisa, though she seems to be struggling to move on from the attention. That doesn't stop his eyes from scouring his options though. One option in particular seems to be on his mind an awful lot lately. Maybe too mu...
