The Life And Death Of Milhouse Van Houten

Revelations

"Well? " Bart nudged.

Milhouse felt everything from the last couple of days bubbling up inside him, and acted instinctually. "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU." he spluttered. Cupping his mouth in instant recoil.

"What? " Lisa furrowed her brow, as if processing.

"I don't. Like you like that. I don't even know if I like you as a friend."

"Wow." Lisa snorted and hard-blinked, before running out of the room.

Milhouse turned to Bart, so fragile in the current moment, yet still his rock. "I , uh. Have something to tell you too, actually. "

Bart shuffled away. "I don't like the sound of that right now. "

"I promise it's not bad."

"Okay.. "

"I don't like Lisa, because I don't like girls"

"Ohh, that makes sense. I could never really see you getting into a relationship. "

Milhouse sighed. He'd felt the same about Bart for some time now, the idea of him with anyone else was crushing.

"Thanks"

"Yeah, I mean, people can get along fine without liking anyone, they just find hobbies or whatever, look at comic book guy. "

He didn't get it. He was never. Going to get it.

"Bart, I like YOU. "

Bart stood still and silent. Milhouse followed suit.

"You like... Me? " Bart raised an eyebrow judgementally.

"Yes." He sighed heavily. "God, I was so tired of keeping that in. "

"Right."

"Right? "

"Okay, stay here for a moment please."

Bart left the room and went downstairs, still bloody and distressed. He was met with horrified screams, followed with intentive active listening.

Milhouse waited upstairs eagerly, what could it be? Flowers? A date downstairs? Was he asking for his parents' blessing?

"You have to leave. " Homer stood in the doorway with Milhouse's coat in his arm.

"Okay." Milhouse arose from the floor and followed.

As he was going down the stairs, he noticed that Mr. Simpson was wearing latex gloves around him, as well as staying as far away as possible, as if he were carrying some kind of disease.

"Your, uhm. Cab. Will be here shortly sweetie. " Marge reassured.

Milhouse stood at the door for around 20 minutes, before Chief Wiggum pulled up in his cop car. Bart ran upstairs.

"I'm here for a uhhh. " Clancy checked his notes "Fa- no, Milhizzle? "

"That's me. "

"Alright, let's go then, nice to see you, Bouvier! " Wiggum winked.

Homer adjusted his tank top and scoffed.

"Thanks for taking me.. " Milhouse whispered.

"Ahh, it's all good, I was heading there anyway, besides, Ralph could do with a playmate. "

Milhouse headed for the front seat.

"Ahh, can't sit there, got a pizza cooking with the sunlight. It's like. Uhh. Science. "

Milhouse moved to the back, to be faced with Ralph, who was sitting in the middle seat.

"Could you scootch over? I need some space. "

"But the bumpy seat is my favourite " Ralph puppy-dog-eyed his father.

"Let him stay. " Wiggum warned.

Milhouse rolled his eyes , and tried his best to, once again. Ignore Ralph.