Carbon: Devil's Rose #8

Chapter 1: Gabriella Jordan

Dedication:
1:36:48 
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Director: Peter Jackson

I knew this wasn't a good idea. The minute I pushed myself to join my sister at the bar, I knew I had chosen the wrong thing. I could have had another shift at the Vellichor bookstore. This definition of vellichor is the strange wistfulness of used bookstores. It's the most perfect name for the place I work in and have worked for about four years now. 

Even after graduating college, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I found that Vellichor is my favorite place to be. But now I am walking to the bar, with the most uncomfortable clothing item I could ever wear - a short, blue, silky dress. I feel like I'm about to be flashing every single person with my white underwear. 

No one wants to see that. 

I could have been snuggling in my bed, watching reruns of Golden Girls while petting my neighbor's cat McQueen (clearly named after Lightning McQueen). I could have been sitting on my kitchen countertop, sipping at a whipped cream-topped hot chocolate and snacking on buttered popcorn.

I could be doing so many other (better) things than being here right now. Maybe I don't have any friends and spend most of my time alone, but life is easier that way. I don't have to deal with drama from any friend, no matter the gender. 

I don't do anything I don't want to do out of the weird obligation I feel that I have to always say yes to everything. But, I admit, it does get a little lonely. For most of my life, I have been alone. Not lonely but alone. 

So, on the rare occasion that my sister Olympia ever wants me to come out with her, I say yes. What I didn't know at the time was one, her other friends would be coming and two, I absolutely hate bars. 

I mean, loath, despise, would rather stab my eye with a pencil than come back here. However, Olympia's my ride, and I'm too scared to get into a cab by myself. What if something happens? I have no one to call.

Sweat from my fears bunches on my forehead, and I make my way back to the bar for the fourth time for the other girls. My sister has known her friends, Jackie and Carly, since third grade. I don't prefer them as people, but she's happy with them. 

I'll put up with their jabs and negative connotations of my life if my sister gets to have a good time. It's not like I have to put up with them often. In that way, I consider myself lucky. 

I raise my hand, leaning against the bar, but with my short height and ability to be completely invisible in the middle of a crowd, I'm not surprised the bartender can't see me. Tears gather in my eyes as my heart races faster in the close crowd. I try to blink them away but my claustrophobia takes control of me. My hands shake while I pinch myself to gain command of my body back.

"Hey, are you alright?"

I glance up to see that people have moved away from me (typical), and the bartender has placed a glass of water in front of me. I don't answer his question, taking a shaky sip of the cold water.

"Have a seat. I can get you a snack or something."

"I just need more drinks for that table."

I turn around and point to the girls who are already surrounded by men flirting with them.

"I think they'll be alright for now. What's your name?"

"Gabriella."

"Nice to meet you, Gabby-" My heart swells at the nickname "-I'm Rubble as my friends call me."