Saving Me (ongoing)

Volume 3

Clara POV:

Me and my mom have just moved back to our hometown. Being here is definitely..something. I grew up here but we moved when I was thirteen because my father got a better paying job in California.

My dad.

He was a really big part in my life until he did what he did. He left us and I wish it was involuntarily but sadly it was not, he killed himself, he left his family and I hate to call it selfish but I cant help to feel any other way, having someone who was so important in your life stripped away and not being able to see your big moments or the little things. It hurts at first, I was angry at everyone, I was angry at the world because I couldn't save him. If only, is the thing I thought everyday. The possibility of my dad being alive and me at least trying to save him. I couldn't do it and I refuse to let anyone else go like that. I don't think I would be able to beat it , the pain and the hurt and mostly the loss. Knowing the person I dearly cared for will no longer live on the earth and will just be a pure memory to us is heart wrenching. I refuse.

Mom broke; says she couldn't handle being in California anymore. Deciding to move back to South Carolina we got a new start, well almost. I had a friend when I was younger. her name was Celeste. she was perfect in my eyes; could do no wrong. being here so far has shown me that everyone changes, first my dad, then my mom, also the people who suround you, and now Celeste. When I went to see her today I could just tell she was sad, her eyes were so saddened and looked so broken. it was frightening and as always I have to be the one to help. Even though no one is forcing me to help people, I just feel like I have to in order to prevent things happening to people like my father. I couldn't save him.

When driving from Celeste house I decided to go to my mom to check on her. we decided not to live together when getting here so I just got myself a small one bedrom apartment and my mom got the same but a little more room and a two bedroom.

Pulling up to my moms house I could see she was home because her car. I pulled into the drive way and quickly hopped out of the car to go inside. Walking right in without knocking because Idon't have to I hear my mom in the kitchen. walking in I see my mom and celest mom. "hey" I say with a slightly awkward tone " hi come sit" mom says as Celeste mom smiles at me. I go to sit but as I walk I quickly ask a question, "hey what should I call you" I ask with a slighly confusing tone seeing as when we were younger I never had to call her anything other than Celeste mom. "ms Johnson" she says and I smile and nod my head not seeing a reason to reply. Once I sit down I hear my mom talking again "honey we are going to be having a get together on Friday and seeing as it's only wednesday im sure youll be fine?" my mom stops her task at cooking and looking at me. "yes I will mom, ill be there" I say and she smiles and continues to cook. deciding to go home after that talk I get up and leave telling my mom and ms Johnson goodbye. walking back to my car and driving home listeing to Childish Gambino "Redbone" I quickly pull into my apartment complex. It's only about a 10 minute drive from our homes so its fine. I hurry to my home and get in a shower as soon as I walk in the door. I hate the feeling of a dirty mess, it kind freaks me out, the sticky feeling. after my shower I decide to shower then and read a book before bed. I get in bed and start reading "The Strength In Our Scars" by Bianca Sparacino. I get comfortable in my bed and finish off my last chapter and head to bed excited for my day tomarrow.

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Waking up next morning I start my day at 9 in the morning. Im a morning person so it doesn't bother me to wake up early. Getting up I go to my bathroom attached to my room and do my morning routine with a shower, skin products, and brushing my teeth. getting out of the shower I decide to text Celeste telling her the details for today and telling her the time will be 2PM then, going to my closet I pick out a big grey hoodie and some matching designer joggers, my go to outfit, with some cool grey retro 4's, once im done I tidy up my bathroom and leave out to run some errands.

While doing some work on my computer I get a text from celest telling me that she is good with our time. smiling and liking her text, I quickly go back to my work waiting for two O'clock to come.

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getting ready to go meet Celeste in my car I text celest to send me the address of the ice cream shop and drive when she sends it. its about a 20 minute drive to her house but im not complaining.. pulling up to the ice cream shop I really like it, its colorful but modern, has an outside area and also an inside area, clear windows and sale posters around the windows. I walk in and instantly see Celeste sitting with her head down and looking hard at the table as if shes thinking too hard. Looking at her face I see her dark brown skin glistening in the light, her brown curly hair in a fro. Her hazel eyes with a look I can't understand, her cute button nose faced down to the table. Deciding to quit staring and go talk to her, I walk over and announce myself. "hey, you look great" I compliment her. she has on a oversized sweater with a skirt, not seeing how she can wear a skirt when it's Fall. not too hot but also not too cold. she looks up at me and smiles at my compliment and we begin talking.

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Sorry my chapters are a little short but I'll get better anyway thanks for reading🩷