Electric Tacos (Wattys 2023)

PART FIVE: 1989

CHAPTER THIRTY

"So, I guess we're still taking a stupid friendship break." Mateo sighed as he drew another cross sketch. He was sitting at Tito's kitchen table, and sipping on coffee. "It's been three weeks already, and we just have a 'business' relationship when we play soccer, study, and rehearse for the play. It's killing me."

Tito nodded. "He's hiding something. He always backs off when something involving his feelings happens. Ricky hates feelings."

"Do you think he has some for me?"

Tito shrugged as he set down a plate of buttered tortillas. Mateo took one. "I've got no idea, carnal. Maybe he's rationalizing what happened. He's been quiet 'round me too."

"For real?"

Tito sat down at the table opposite Mateo. "For real. He's been at home a lot and Dory's worried about him."

"Even Dory?"

"Yeah. Jose gave up being worried. So did Fur Ass and Max. They think that it's just him being hormonal."

"Did they try to talk to him?"

"Yep. Didn't get much of a response past 'I'm busy' and some random grunts."

Mateo scoffed. "Sounds like Ricky."

"Exactly, so they have no reason to be worried." Tito smiled back. "He'll come around soon enough."

"He better. I miss hanging around with him." Mateo frowned. "He's a good kid underneath it all."

"Yes, he is."

"And you're a good guy. Thanks for sticking with me through the crush I had on you, and seeing it out. I still like you, but it's not the same. It's not intense. You've moved on, and I'm trying to."

"No problem. Andrea's one of the best things that has happened to me. And she's lovely. She balances me out a bit. She's the present one, and I'm the planner."

Mateo grinned. "Kinda like how me and Ricky compliment each other. He's the brains and I'm the heart—in our friendship group, of course—Chuck's the brawn, too."

Tito laughed. "You'll figure things out soon enough—oh yeah before I forget to tell you—Jaime wants you to meet his cousin."

"Why?"

"He says that he has some advice to give you. And that he wants to help you out."

"When?"

"Whenever you want."

"Yes, please." Mateo smiled. "I'll meet him today. It's Saturday, right?"

"It's Saturday." Tito nodded. "You'll need a ride across town though."

________

"Mateo, this is my cousin, Cruz. Cruz, this is Mateo." Jaime said as he fixed his shirt collar and sat down on the sofa. "I hope you're acquainted now."

Mateo looked over at the flamboyant-looking man facing him; he had long, dark, straightened silky hair, perfectly manicured black nails, a long, slender, athletic body, pink vest top, tight white shorts, killer cheekbones, strong eyebrows, and shiny brown skin.

"Nice to meet you, Mateo." He said with a smile. "I heard you're having some trouble."

Mateo shrugged. "It's not so much trouble, but a problem. I told my friend I liked him in that way, and he's been avoiding me since. He said that he needed time away to think... but it's been chaotic since then."

Cruz nodded. "It's normal."

"Is it?"

"Yes, he's probably evaluating things."

"Is he?"

"He's taking a long time because he doesn't want to make a mistake. It's difficult, Mateo. He's overwhelmed. I came out seven years ago and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"Was it?"

Cruz nodded and sighed. "I lost a lot. My parents disowned me, and my relations with my siblings changed. My uncle stopped bringing me out for pancakes. A lot of my friends started to avoid me."

"Was this when the AIDS started? You're very brave for coming out then."

Cruz wiped his left eye. "I couldn't hold it in anymore. I got caught kissing a boy in our chapel. It was difficult."

"Aw, that's awful. You didn't get much help afterward?"

"Kid, I would have killed for someone like... me to guide me back then. I could barely say my own damn name in public, let alone come out."

"They wouldn't let me see him for months until I bought my own ticket to go to his house," Jaime added. "I missed him."

Cruz ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, after wiping his eyes. "Yeah, I live in Outlaw Hill, but I'm free and happy now. I work as an artist, do some acting, and sleep around."

"Sleeping around?" Mateo grinned.

"Yeah, that part was a joke, but if I have to live as an outcast, I don't care. As long as I don't have to hide. Hiding's awful." Cruz said. "You gain confidence when you show your true self and don't care what people think."

"Will I gain some?"

"You will, eventually. You're still a kid, technically. You have your whole life ahead of you."

"Do I?"

Cruz nodded. "You don't need to come out right now if it's not the right time."

"That's true." Mateo sighed. "I'm worried about Ricky, though. We've never been away this long from each other."

"If he's avoiding you, it'll take a while for him to come to terms. He's really thinking this through. He may have feelings for you. Let time reveal things."

"Yeah, but waiting is the hard part. It's killing me."

"It's difficult, especially when you're young," Cruz admitted. "When I was your age, a week felt like a year. I wasn't used to it."

"I guess so." Mateo nodded as he sipped a cup of orange juice he'd poured into a glass from the jug that Cruz had prepared. It was fresh and delicious. "Every year seems long, to me."

"Of course it does. Ever since I became an adult, time seems like it's going faster because of how busy I am, and how much I have to do. Getting things done by deadlines. It's a culture shock, compared to being a teenager."

"It is?"

Jaime nodded. "Working two hours in Tito's office feels like four as a teenager."

"Oh, I see." Mateo nodded. "So, your perception of time changes as you get older?"

"Yeah." Cruz agreed. "Just don't rush the coming out. Let it happen in its own time. And let your friend come to terms by himself too. Rushing is the worst thing. It will happen when it's meant to happen. Not before, or after."

"Good point," Mateo said. "Thank you for talking to me, and assuring me of things."

Cruz smiled back at him. "No problem, Mateo. If you ever need a talk, I'm here."