Electric Tacos (Wattys 2023)

THIRTY ONE

"Man, I dunno what the hell to do about Mateo." Ricky sighed as he was tightening a lug nut back into a car wheel. "Cous, this is difficult, y'know? Mateo's my best friend, but I don't wanna ruin things between us."

Tito rubbed his dirty, oily hands and looked up at Ricky. "I understand. You need to be totally honest with yourself, Primo."

"About what?"

"About the Mateo thing. You can't avoid it forever. You need to have a real talk."

"It's difficult. I hate talking about my feelings."

"So do most men," Tito said. "It's natural. But you do need to confront him and shoot the shit. Honesty is the best policy, after all, just tell him la neta and where you stand."

Ricky nodded. "I half know where I stand."

"You're usually so sure of yourself."

"Yeah, I know, but I think I'm questioning some things. I've never questioned things before. It's confusing."

"It happens."

Ricky got up and sat on the bench. "Yeah, but it shouldn't happen to me at this age?"

"It happens at any age."

"Why?"

Tito shrugged. "That's life. You have a lot of hormones and are going through an important stage in your life. You question things because you are always discovering new things about yourself. It would be weird if people didn't question things."

"Aight, good point," Ricky said. "Everyone needs to think for themselves, rationalize their feelings, form opinions and logically figure out why things are this way."

Tito nodded. "If you need a break, go have one."

Ricky's stomach rumbled. "Aight, I will thanks."

He went into the kitchen and made himself a big bowl of ramen and a mug of coffee before sitting down at the table, thinking about things.

Why am I avoiding Mateo? If there wasn't something there, I would have said something by now. I wouldn't be avoiding him. What's up here?

Ricky let out a sigh as he thought about Mateo. About how much he stood up for him; about how much he looked out for him, and how close they really were.

He brought him a lot of joy and was there for him too. Ricky enjoyed Mateo's boyish charm to lighten the mood, and to have some fun with.

He was a different person from Chuck, and he was very grateful for that.

He was also someone he could tell anything to, and not be harshly judged back.

Mateo seemed to understand the human condition better than most and be more compassionate than adults twice his age.

Ever since they first met, they instantly connected on a platonic level. They had a lot in common, and their opposite personalities complimented each other well.

He wasn't shocked that Mateo had a crush on him.

He'd known about Mateo for a while and had his suspicions that he wasn't straight, but he didn't care. Maybe Mateo latched onto that. And he felt safe around him.

Maybe Ricky was his rock.

His safe place.

Ricky didn't mind that.

It felt good to be wanted.

_______

That evening, Ricky went back to his bedroom and tried to look for his magazines. They weren't there. Neither was Pops, Fur Ass, Jose, or Max. They all went to see a baseball game in the park. Ricky was minding Dory, who was watching a Rocky movie with popcorn on the sofa. He did it for ten dollars, and was happy enough to do it:

"Aight, Dory, I'm gonna run to the store. You want anything?"

Dory shook his head. "Don't be long."

"I won't be. Can I lock the door?'

"Sure."

Ricky took a short walk to the store with some leftover money he had. He swung the door open and went into Chapo's. He went to the back and looked at some of the fitness magazines. There were new issues. And also some Playboy ones, too.

He grabbed three fitness magazines, and two Playboy ones, along with some Cheetos, chocolate milk, cashew nuts, and already cooked chicken wings, along with two packets of cookies. Five minutes later, he was back home and unlocked the door.

He threw a packet of cookies at Dory, who smiled back. "Thanks, you didn't need to."

"No problem. I'm gonna relax in my room. If you need anything, knock on my door."

"Sure."

Ricky walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

He sat down on the floor, and propped himself up against the bed, before opening up the fitness magazine with a topless man on the front, dressed in his tighty whities. The man behind him was wearing shorts, lifting weights in his shorts, and wearing shades.

The main headline said:

GET COOL FOR THE SUMMER.

He turned to page ten and looked at the images.

He was especially interested in the man with tanned skin, and dark, slicked-back hair who resembled an older, mature, classier, and jacked-up Mateo.

The man beside him had a flattop haircut, was black, wearing a tight vest top, very muscular, and making his cheeks warm. It was making him feel uncomfortably aroused.

He put his hands down his boxers in the heat of the moment, and let out a moan as he pleasured himself. He thought about working out with the guys and was getting off in the moment, not realizing that Dory was peaking his head through the door.

He pulled off his shorts and got on the bed and under the sheets. He took the magazine up and started flicking through some more pages, and was getting into the mood.

He was getting aroused, and for the next ten minutes, in his own fantastical world. He couldn't hear Dory shouting for him because he had his Walkman on, and the music was playing loud. A mixtape that Mateo gave him as a Nochebuena gift, along with the drawing.

It had rock music, Depeche Mode, rap music, some Oldies, and a few suggestive songs in Spanish that he hasn't heard in a long time.

Dory tried to knock on the door, but Ricky still didn't hear him.

Ricky was tugging his member, and he was getting warm, so he took his t-shirt off.

He'd started to ejaculate a bit when Dory walked in and turned on the light. Ricky shot up, and took his headphones off, and paused the music. His head popped up from the sheets, and he threw them back, revealing his topless body underneath.

He said 'said' as he realized that Dory was there, and he watched as Dory made his way over to the bed, and asked him:

"Are you alright?"

Ricky glared at him as he threw the covers back over himself. "Get out."

"Why?"

"I was having a private moment." Ricky hissed. "What do you want?"

"I tried to make quesadillas, but I did an oops in the kitchen."

"What kinda oops?" Ricky sighed. "Was it bad?"

"I think I killed the kitchen, and I made smoke."

"Aight, lemme fix myself up and I'll be down in a moment," Ricky said as Dory started to walk out of the room. "You don't tell Pops 'bout my oops and I won't tell him about yours, aight?"

Dory nodded. "I won't."