𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐃𝐞𝐰

See Through The Scars Inside You

A/N: recap of last chapter in case you had to skip it: Mountain caught Phantom self harming, and asked him if he was okay. Phantom had a flashback of his past abusive partner, and Mountain recruited Rain to help comfort him.

Comforting circles traced into Sodo's lower back. Soft lips pressed against his neck. Strong arms wrapped reassuringly around his chest. Aether hummed into Sodo's ear, his breath a silent promise.

"Feeling better, Firefly?"

Sodo could only hum contentedly, half asleep and purring. "Thank you, Aeth."

Sodo jolted awake, nearly sobbing at the loss of contact. He could still feel the phantom brushes of Aether's claws against his back and lips on his neck.

"Aether please," he cried into the darkness of the attic. "Please, I need you, I can't- I can't do this without you."

His phone buzzed, lighting up to show the most recent text from Swiss, and a few older ones from Rain and Phantom.

So tired, Sodo was so so tired. He didn't even have the energy to lift his arm to respond to the texts. Or, more accurately, he didn't have the mental capacity for the worry and scolding that would follow him actually answering Rain's frantic, back-to-back calls.

He missed Phantom, strangely enough. He never babied him or forced the "consequences of his actions" down his throat. He was just there, a comforting presence against the backdrop of chaos going on in Sodo's head. And now he was gone, just like all the others.

Unbidden, Sodo was hurled into another memory of Aether.

"Am I broken, Aether?"

"Why would you ask that?" The two of them were curled up on Sodo's bed, tails twisted in a beautiful knot and foreheads locked together.

"I'm just-" Sodo huffed, the words abandoning him. He made a few obscure hand gestures when he couldn't figure out how to speak what he was feeling.

"Use your words, firefly."

"I don't- I can't- ugh. I feel broken." Sodo cuddled closer, Aether's breath tickling his scalp.

"Why's that, love?"

Instead of answering the question, Sodo responded with another. "Am I hard to love?"

Aether was taken aback. He didn't think he'd done anything to make his ghoul think that it was a struggle to love him. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way—"

"I'm sorry," Sodo tensed, panicked. "I didn't mean it like that. It's not you, I just feel too needy sometimes, and it feels like too much for the people around me and I don't know how to stop and—"

"You're not hard to love. You're not clingy or needy, you're beautiful and the way you love and desire to be loved is beautiful."

"Aether?"

"Yes, fire lily?"

"Please don't leave me."

"Let me promise you one thing," Aether brushed a stray strand of hair away from Sodo's face. "You will never be unloved by me, firefly. You are too well entangled in my soul."

Sodo curled up against himself, against the world, and most importantly, against Aether. He couldn't think about anything without his brain conjuring up the most painful memories of them together.

And it was all his fault.

"Sodo!" It was one of the rare occasions when Aether didn't use one of his favorite nicknames for the fire ghoul, and Sodo glanced up from the book he was attempting to read. He was sprawled out comfortably on Aether's bed, and he quickly moved to a sitting position when he saw how panicked his mate was.