The show must go on

Backstage 2

The police came to investigate, but didn't find anything.

I can barely function, when I have free time I come to Haru and offer her my body.

It's all I can do to forget, I don't want to have to remember what happened. So I put my head on her chest to block all the bad thoughts.

"Now it's just us two, forever."

"Forever..." What did I want to do with my life? I don't remember.

I don't want anything else, just Haru's love.

We're always together now, unless Haru or I are busy with idol stuff. She's often gone since she's a top idol.

One day she came looking really sad.

"This bitch overtook my first place!"

"It's okay, I'll be here for you." I hold her, but she stands up and go toward the door.

"Fuyuko, I'll show you how to stay a top idol."

Why can't she stay here and love me? I just want her to love me.

I follow her since I don't want to be alone.

We go to an idol's room, probably the one that's first place now.

Haru knock on her door and it opens.

"Hello. Oh, Kiyohime and... Kiyuki." I nod my head to her.

"Yeah, I'm Kiyuki, but my real name is Fuyuko."

Haru looks at me with a jealous gaze, like she told me to not talk to anyone else than her.

"We're here to talk about you being the top idol now."

"Yeah, I hope you don't hate me for that, haha." She's smiling and being cheerful, but Haru keep her cold gaze.

"I won't need to hate you, since you'll stop being an idol soon."

She hands her a phone with a picture of her and another guy hugging.

"It's me and my brother, what is it supposed to mean?"

"It may be your brother, but people will think otherwise, they can be jealous with their idols."

"You won't dare..." Haru is really scaring me sometimes.

"You have one week."

Haru take me by the arm and bring me with her.

After we're in my room, I ask her.

"Why did you do that?"

"That's the only way you can stay a good idol, if she's first, she did the same."

I can't believe what she said.

"Why do you want to be first so much?"

"Because I can, I'm the best at everything I do. Even love."

She comes closer to me and kiss me. She scares me, I want to go, but I love her so much and she does too.

Maybe she's right, if I want everyone to love me I need to use others too.

"You're just mine, nobody else will have you."

She's removing all my clothes, but I'm not ready to reveal all of me to her.

"Can we stop here for now?"

She slap my face as I say those words.

"Did you say something? You're supposed to do everything I say. Have you seen everything I do for you?"

She's right, she loves me and even teaches me how to be the best.

"You're right."

I remove all my clothes, she takes another picture. She must really like my body, it makes me happy, I think.

I didn't remember most of the night after that.

I did a lot for my career now, I'm the 6th most profitable idol in the agency.

Every night I give my body to Haru, so she loves me, and I try to make her proud all I can.

One day an idol came to me.

"Fuyuko? I'm a friend of Emiko."

I haven't heard her name for a while now.

"I was too."

"I know, she wanted me to give you this, but I didn't have the courage to do it until now, it's the last thing she did before... she left us a year ago."

"I'll open it later."

This night I was with Haru once again, before offering myself to her, I tell her about the letter.

"It's over now Fuyuko, she's gone."

"But we should read it, I want to know what she wanted to tell me."

"More than you want my love?"

I freeze for a moment.

"No, I need your love!"

"Then burn it. Burn the letter."

I'm sorry Emiko, but I'm happy now.

"I'm proud of you, you're a good girl."

It feels so good to hear that.

After this night, I couldn't stop wondering what was in the letter.

When I see the ratings, I see I'm only in tenth place now. 

I go to Haru, so she can comfort me, and I really want to bring her to the summer festival. But sadly I saw something horrible.

She's half naked, with another idol.

"Haru...?" My voice is shaking, I can barely move.

"You weren't supposed to know now."

"You... are cheating on me too?"

"I'll be honest, I never loved you, I prefer her now."

She says that as she caresses her body like she used to do with mine.

"No! It can't be!"

"If you tell anyone, you know what will happen."

She takes her phone out and show the pictures she took of me.

She never cared about me, about my body! She just used me!

"I... Loved you."

"That's your problem, not mine."

I get it now, the letter, she wanted to warn me.

I'm in the same spot as Emiko a year ago, she'll do the same with that idol, and did the same before Emiko!

"I'll tell everyone, I'll stop you."

"Your popularity will go down if you do, I'm popular enough to cover everything."

I'm sorry for being a bad friend before, Emiko, but I'll avenge you now.

"I'll be the number one, even if I need to ruin everyone else's life for it, I will."

"Then you'll become the monster you want to destroy."

I don't know if I became crazy, but I can't think now, I want to make up for Emiko.

"You taught me how to be the number one, I'll show you I can do the same."

I left, I don't want love, I don't want to be popular. I just want to do it for Emiko.