RAISING THEM TOGETHER

CHAPTER 4

Feeling worse

Waking up alone knowing its because Malik is upset with me hurts and is so hard and I feel worse than I have in the last 6 days. Monique told me to be careful and to lower my stress levels because it could really hurt my baby but it's so hard when you scared yet happy but also so upset but stressed and mad because your boyfriend is mad at you which is making you mad.

Ive barely slept maybe 4 hours but definitely not enough for a pregnant women. It's only 8am so no one is up yet and if they are they haven't left there rooms yet. However I'm not going to sit here and cry more when I have a daughter to look after and I've been lacking as a mom for the pass few days because of my pregnancy.

So I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Once I get out I stare at myself in the mirror red eyes red nose and red lips. I just stare at myself as I brush thought my tangled hair trying not to cry more. I walk out the bathroom once I'm done and I've brushed my teeth I sit at the desk with my Mirror adding concealer under my eyes. I dab it in with my beautiful blender before adding my glasses on and braid my hair into two Dutch braids like the way malik did for me when I had just given birth.

I don't give two shits about how I look so I put on another set of pj's along with my favourite pair of fluffy socks

I walk into my daughter room to see her already awake and out of her crib and bonnet clearly fell of during the nights because her curl were untamed and out of control looking like a lions mane. She pushes her hair out of her face just for it to fall back in the way but it doesn't stop her from playing with her toys.

She was in the cutest dora the explorer PJ set and she looked so cute. "good morning baby." she looks up with a huge smile she stands up stumbling a bit before running full speed info my legs. "are you ready for the day." she nods once again pushing the hair out of her face. "let's get you in the shower."

I head to the bathroom undressing her and standing her in the bathtub as I take her removable shower head and screw it on to the bath tap so the warm water flows threw the shower head faucet and sprinkles everywere. I shower her with it making sure she was all clean once I got her out I moisturise her entire body so she doesn't get dry skin. And I moisturise her hair and slowly tame her curls until the were untangled bouncy and in the thick coils there normally in.

I grab her hair brush slicking her hair back into two pongs adding small purple bows to each one and I do her little edges. I put her pull up on before putting her in a pair of denim shorts and a pastel yellow shirt with a small pastel rainbow on her heart.

I grab her foot tickling it making her laugh I pretend to smell pulling a funny face. "stinky feet." she giggles I me. "My feet no stinky." she shys away and I laugh putting her in a pair of cotton socks with frizzle at the top. "let's go get you some food." i carry her to the kitchen where lisha and Monique were sitting on a bar stool on the island.

I place Blake in the same barstool tucking her in really close she can't fall out. "strawberrys ego and milk." she nods as I give her some paper and crayons to draw with.

"you and Malik OK." Monique asks as I unwrap Blakes egos and place them in the toaster. "no...i don't know... He was really upset with me last night so he slept in the guest room."

"that bad."lisha asks whilst I wash Blakes strawberrys."mhm" I tell her not turning around and swallowing the lump in my throat as I proceed to cut up her strawberrys into quarters I grab her plate and egos so I can start getting it all ready.

I was still upset this morning but less upset then I thought I slept ok once I took four hour to think and I realised In the whole 24 hours I was upset I never stopped to really think about how my reaction could affect Aiko how it's must have hurt her even more how the stress could take a toll on our baby.

So when I got up I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth putting on another pair a of sweats and socks and fuck a shirt everyone in those house has saw me shirtless it's nothing new.

I walk into the kitchen "morning ma." i kiss my mom's cheek walking round to lisha squeezing her arm comfortably before making my way to my daughter. "hey babygirl what you doing." i kiss her chubby cheeks.

"I drawing daddy." i smile. "it's really pretty baby." i kiss the top of her head. Her hair was styled beautifully 2 pony tails with the cutest little bows. I look to see Aiko chopping up egos into quarters. I walk up behind her wrapping my arms around her waist tugging her close to me smelling the scent of home and I groan in her ear comfortably as I rest my head on her shoulder watching her scoop op strawberrys in her hands I put them in the little section of Blakes plate.

"im sorry baby" I whisper enough for only her to hear. "i don't want to cause you more stress then what your already going through its not good for you and your baby and I'm sorry I left you alone last night when you needed me the most." she nods. "OK." she puts a single hand over mine interlocking our hands that were still over her waist. "I'm not gonna pressure you to talk to me just know I'm here if you want to talk and if you need to talk OK." i whisper and she nods.

She her hand to my cheek stroking the side of my face with her thumb before continuing to plate up Blakes breakfast. She puts a tiny amount of syrup in the corner in case she want some and pours milk into her sippy cup. I let her finish as I move towards the fridge for my own breakfast but end up with a protein shake and a breakfast bar. I sit in between Aiko and Blake.

"here daddy." blake offers me some of her waffle with the biggest smile on her face my daughter may only be 2 years old and faced many challenges already but god its like she invincible she's the kindest purest sweetest little girl ever and I love her so much. I take the tiniest bite because I want to make sure my daughter has a good relationship with food and is eating well and enough.

"mmm yummy thank you some much baby." she kicks her feet smiling as she goes back to watching bluey and eating.

And I watch her thinking how such a beautiful girl could be half of me.