speeding up my heartbeat / purinz

11

In a rare turn of events, Yunjin and Chaewon are both on the opening shift on a Thursday morning in mid-July, which means that after the initial three coffees Yunjin needs to become a functioning human being before noon, and after the lunch rush and the afternoon lull and the early evening pre-dinner rush, they both finish at the same time.

Sooyoung gives her a very suspicious and interested look when she hovers by the host stand to wait for Chaewon to finish getting changed so they can leave together, but luckily Yunjin manages to escape without being interrogated.

(Although it's more likely the interrogation has simply been postponed, since Sooyoung texts her bitch?? 👀 three seconds after Yunjin has left the building.)

It's a nice evening, cooled down after the hazy humid heat of July in Seoul, and Yunjin doesn't particularly want to go home to her empty apartment just yet.

"Are you hungry?" She says, turning to Chaewon. "We could go get food?" Chaewon stares at her for a long, long moment, until Yunjin starts to feel uncomfortable. "Um. Unless you have somewhere to be?"

"I don't," Chaewon says softly. "Yes, I'd like to get food. Did you have anywhere in mind?"

There's a small night market a few blocks from the subway station, a single little side street packed with food stalls. The air is smoky and warm, thick with the smell of sizzling beef and sugary pastries, and Yunjin reaches behind her without really thinking to grab onto Chaewon's hand so they don't lose each other in the crowded street.

Yunjin gets a portion of tteokbokki, a paper bag full of mini chocolate bungeoppang and a bottle of pomegranate juice, Chaewon gets pork dumplings, a churro and a peach iced tea, and they wander away from the noise and heat of the market to a tiny empty playground. They sit on the swings while they eat, and for some reason Yunjin had built it up in her head that it would be different earlier in the day, that it would be awkward in daylight without the cover of night time, but then Chaewon snorts and says, "God, that abYunjinieute Karen on table 400 today, huh?" and they're off.

They finish their food quickly enough, but Chaewon doesn't seem in any rush to leave and Yunjin has nowhere to be, so they stay on the swings, slowly pushing back and forth, talking all the while, and then—

"What the fuck," Chaewon says, looking at her phone. "It's almost midnight."

Yunjin checks her own phone, immediately deciding that the string of texts from Sooyoung, Haseul and the group chat can wait until she gets home. "We should probably go if we want to catch the last train," she sighs.

Yunjin expects it to happen the same as it always does. They'll walk back to the station, linger for a few moments to say goodbye, they'll scan their tickets, get through the gate, and then they'll go their separate ways, always leaving Yunjin wanting more.

What actually happens is they walk back to the station, and Yunjin has her ticket out ready to scan before she realises Chaewon has stopped a few feet behind her.

"Chaewon?"

Chaewon is staring at her, eyes wide and searching, like she's about to say something, like it means something.

"Unnie," Chaewon murmurs, reaching out to take Yunjin's hand, electricity sparking between their fingers. "You— it's not just me, right?"

Yunjin holds her breath, waiting for Chaewon to elaborate, because there's no way that Chaewon is— that she could—

"You feel this too, right? Between us?"

Chaewon's thumb runs over the back of her knuckles, and Yunjin feels it travel through her whole body to settle somewhere in her chest, warm and Yunjinieid and familiar.

"I thought— I could ignore it, to begin with, when all it was was thinking you were hot and wanting to fuck you again. It was fun, flirting with you and watching you panic and clearly pretend that we'd never had sex." Chaewon laughs softly, like anything about this situation is remotely amusing. Yunjin can't move, can't breathe, her heart feels like it's about to beat right out of her chest. "But now, after everything, I don't— I don't just want to fuck you again. I want to still be there in the morning. And then go out for breakfast with you. And hold your hand across the table the whole time. I don't want us to keep getting different trains home."

"Chaewon—" Yunjin says, voice strangled. "Chaewon, we can't."

"Why not?" Chaewon murmurs, inching closer. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I'm not watching."

It would be easy. Chaewon is close enough that Yunjin could easily reach out to cup her face, trace her fingers over Chaewon's jaw, sweep her thumb across Chaewon's cheekbone. Yunjin could easily pull her in and stall their journey home a little longer. Yunjin could kiss her. Yunjin wants to kiss her.

But she can't.

It takes all of Yunjin's effort to pull her gaze away from Chaewon's mouth — soft and pink and practically begging Yunjin to do something stupid and reckless — but when she manages to, the look in Chaewon's eyes isn't any easier to face.

"I'm your boss," Yunjin says helplessly.

"I know," Chaewon says, her fingers squeezing Yunjin's slightly. "I like you anyway. I like you so much, Yunjin-unnie. I'm sorry."

Yunjin doesn't know how she manages to find the strength to take her hand back and step back to put some distance between them, but she does. On the road next to them, a car drives past, loud music blaring from the open window. Across the road, a group of loud giggling girls walk down the sidewalk. Inside the subway station, there's a tinny announcement about not leaving bags unattended. The rest of the world, continuing to spin around them. Yunjin had almost forgotten.

Chaewon blinks slowly, as if she's just coming back to earth too.

"You should go," Yunjin says. Please go. You need to go. Please walk away because I don't know if I can stop myself if you come closer again. "I'll see you later, Chaewon."

And then she turns and walks into the station. She doesn't look back, even when she hears Chaewon call her name.