speeding up my heartbeat / purinz

12

"You rejected her?"

Yunjin can't actually see Hyunjin's face since she has her head buried in her arms as she slumps over the table, but she can picture the expression Hyunjin is presumably wearing pretty well; incredulous disappointment with a hint of amusement, since Yunjin's disaster of a love (?) life seems to be proving very entertaining for Hyunjin.

"I rejected her," Yunjin confirms, slightly muffled. "And then I ran away."

Hyunjin reaches out and flicks her on the top of her head, and Yunjin finally raises her head to glare at her. She's been hiding long enough that she has to blink against the brightness of Hyunjin's kitchen, but she instantly zeroes in on the muffin sitting on a plate in front of her. Yunjin didn't even hear Hyunjin put it down.

"Is that a pity muffin?"

"Yes," Hyunjin says. "You seem like you could use it. But also tell me what you think, I'm trying a new recipe for the bakery."

Yunjin reaches out for the muffin. "Why can't you ask Heejin to be your taste tester?"

"Because she loves me, and I could feed her a concrete and sewer water muffin and she'd still say it was great just to spare my feelings."

"Sickening," Yunjin mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs. "You and Heejin, I mean. Not the muffin. This is great. What is it?"

"Banana and chocolate. Now, stop changing the subject." Hyunjin leans forward in her chair, excited as a kid in a candy store. Yunjin isn't entirely convinced Hyunjin isn't actually actively vibrating with glee. "Back to your little scandalous office romance."

"It's not an office romance."

Hyunjin sighs so hard Yunjin wonders if she's about to deflate like a popped balloon. "It will be once you get your head out of your ass."

"Hyun—"

"Don't Hyunjin me," Hyunjin interrupts. "Yunjin-unnie, look," she continues, with all the strained patience of explaining something to a small child. "She likes you, and she wants to fuck you again. You like her, and you want to fuck her again. You are both consenting adults. What is the problem?"

"We work together."

"So don't fuck her at work," Hyunjin says, like that's the logical Yunjinieution. "I'm sure you can keep it in your pants until you're both off the clock."

"I'm her boss," Yunjin tries. Every time she says that it seems to feel weaker and weaker.

"And I'm assuming Eden has a policy in place for dating coworkers?"

"Just that it has to be disclosed to management," Yunjin mutters. "So me, Sooyoung, Haseul, Kahei-unnie and Kyungri-unnie. And it can't get in the way of working."

"Okay, so, you like her, she likes you, it's not prohibited. Again, what's the problem?"

Yunjin stalls for time by taking a huge bite of her pity muffin. It's not like Hyunjin is wrong; relationships between the staff aren't banned at all, provided no one airs any drama out in front of the customers. And it's not like Yunjin and Chaewon would be the first ones to take advantage of that; Hyeju and Yerim have been dating for a little while now, Sana and the previous sous chef Momo flirted outrageously for months until they got drunk at the staff Christmas party two years ago, slept together, and then continued to sleep together until Momo quit, and Yunjin is fairly sure Sooyoung and Jiwoo have hooked up on at least three separate occasions, even if Sooyoung refuses to confirm this. Apart from the occasional bout of unsubtle flirting at the host stand — Hyeju and Yerim — or eyefucking across the restaurant — Sooyoung and Jiwoo — no one's work has been affected.

"I don't even— when you put it like that, I don't know," Yunjin trails off weakly, idly pushing a muffin crumb across the plate so she doesn't have to look at Hyunjin's smug, all-knowing face. "I just, what if people think she's getting treated differently. Better. I want to stay professional."

"I think the fact that you're this freaked out over it means you'll be able to stay professional," Hyunjin says. "Unnie, you need to stop caring what other people think and start caring about what you want. You like her, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Yunjin sighs, belatedly realising this is the first time she's actually admitted it out loud herself, rather than just agreeing with someone else. "So much."

"Then just go for it. You haven't dated in so long and you're allowed to be happy, Yunjinie," Hyunjin says, voice gentle. "I know Eden is your life and you love it, but it doesn't always have to come first."

The parts of Yunjin that were once so focused on resisting are becoming less and less by the day, and now she's having insane thoughts like maybe Hyunjin is right, which is always worrying.

Yunjin closes her eyes. "Yeah." Opens them again. "Maybe."