Strange Carcosa

HOSS: DAY 5

Sweat doused our pits.

We maneuvered Charlie and slumped against the trees, shuddering in breaths. Mercifully, I heard the river.

"Just that way," the hunter panted, taking a swig from his canteen. I mirrored him, gulping water. I wiped my mouth, shaking out my wet hair.

"Thank the Madra," I wheezed. We picked up Charlie again, hoisting them between us. The way felt agonizing—then finally, we found the purple river. The bank murmured over rock, and white leaves spun on its surface before being lost to the current. My heart caught in my throat, every muscle taut—I glanced over my shoulders, back prickling.

"It's okay," Utorius shrugged. "If there's any townspeople... they know me. We trade. Mostly... they leave me alone. There's an old woman down river... sometimes there's space in her cabin. She's harmless. Her grandson Ephraim though..."

He shook his head.

I tasted vomit. My guts went cold and my heart dropped.

He saw my face blanch and raised a brow, stopping. I could see the boat in the corner of my eye, creaking with the waves. It sounded very, very loud and I rattled in a deep breath.

"Guerre. It would not be wise to go there."

"And why's that?" He raised a brow.

"We..." I hesitated. "I... we were attacked. By Ephraim, and an unnamed man. They were trying to kill us, for meat. We fought back..."

"So they're dead," Utorius muttered. We stared at each other for a long time.

"Yes." A great, deep shame washed over me. "I wish... it had ended differently, guerre, I—"

"Good," he snorted, hoisting Charlie and beginning to back into the lapping bank. "That man was a motherfucker. Great Behemal, poor Ezra, though. She must be destroyed..."

"Madra, forgive me," I murmured, eyes burning. "For my harm, the harm of which no penance is great enough..."

"You were defendin' yourself," Utorius shrugged. Together, we laid Charlie like a limp fish between us. The hunter creaked into the front seat and began to row. I sat in the back, feeling very cold and very still.

"I broke oath," I frowned. "I took a life."

"Padri, I am sure you are of greater service to the Madra alive rather'n dead." He raised a brow. "Still, you're right. It would be unwise. Especially if they're lookin' for you. If they associate me with murderers— that's one camp, gone. And I can't afford that."

My stomach clenched.

"...I never wanted to take another life again," I husked. The hunter looked over his shoulder in surprise.

"You, padri, have...?"

"Yes. In Corinth. I was little more than a gun." I sucked in my lips, looking at the shivering white brush. "I never wish to be that again."

"We do what we must to live," Utorius shrugged, pulling the oars back. "Life preys on life."

"Spoken like a true Behemite," I pressed my lips in the grim ghost of a smile. He smirked, and for a while, only the slosh of water filled the silence.

—

The boat creaked.

I smoked as Utorius rowed, scanning the hanging moss and thickets for any signs of pokeys. Charlie laid between us, and I kept glancing at them to make sure they were still breathing. I had one hand on steel.