love you to the stars and back - Hongbae oneshot book

future

[Part 3: a realization under streetlamps, a magnet reminding of home, and their kitchen]

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Later that night, Minchan tells him to park on the sideway and drags him into a convenience store. They grab armfuls of ice cream to stock up for the upcoming summer weeks, and because Minchan's bank account has already suffered enough, Hoyoung hurries to the cashier before he can say a word. He still protests afterwards, of course, and Hoyoung has to shush him by elbowing his side. Then, he runs.

They race each other back to the car. Airy laughter escapes Hoyoung's chest. Every time Minchan passes the spotlight of a streetlamp, the crown of his hair turns into gold like the stars are weaving a halo onto his head.

Spots of light are swirling in Hoyoung's chest, on his tongue. He wants to cry. He wants to trip and let the ground bury him underneath the weight of the world. Nothing makes sense when he looks at Minchan, but the funny thing is that even then, everything is where it's supposed to be, has fallen into place perfectly fine on its own: his hand finds Minchan's, and their eyes meet.

He doesn't cry or fall.

Instead, he flies.

*'☆°*

The drive back to their apartment is full of giggles and stupid, stupid conversations that Hoyoung treasures all too much. "Do you think flamingos have a favorite leg to stand on?" Minchan asks at one point. "Do you think it's more like a left-handed and right-handed thing or an ambidextrous-with-a-preference thing?"

"Maybe it's different for every one of them... like with humans. I don't know."

"I'd like to think they're treating their legs fairly. No discrimination."

Hoyoung is behind the steering wheel, so he only throws him a quick glance, but then — his heart surges. Minchan is grinning.

Despite the truly unserious things coming out of his mouth, Hoyoung wants to kiss him.

Oh.

He prays Minchan doesn't notice how he grips the wheel a little bit tighter and keeps his eyes fixed on the dim road a bit more firmly than usual.

It's a strange thought. It's strange because it feels natural more than anything. Hoyoung hasn't ever given romance much consideration in his life, and if he has ever kissed anyone when he was little, he doesn't remember it. When Minchan came out to him as graysexual two years ago, his only comment had been Honestly? Probably same. Then, Minchan said he was pan, and to that Hoyoung had merely shrugged. I figured. He hadn't been sure if he could relate to that as well.

Kissing is weird. Definitely nice in concept; Hoyoung sort of understands the appeal of it, but he doesn't think he'd ever get obsessed with it like most other people do. Hell, even Kangmin has kissed a friend in high school and when he shyly told Hoyoung about it, he had a soft glimmer in his eyes that felt almost wistful.

He doesn't want to have another tongue in his mouth. But a part of him now thinks that it yes, it would be...nice, to know how Minchan's lips feel on his. If they slot together just as well as their hands. Their gazes.

Streetlamps pass, halos appear. Beyond the tall building silhouettes, the stars sway in the tentative rhythm of a lullaby.

Maybe he should ask him. Later, tomorrow, somewhere this week. Minchan would probably...

Would he agree to do this?

The cold fingers of a doubt that feels all too familiar chokes him around his lungs and suddenly he's not so sure anymore. But Minchan keeps talking and smiling for the rest of the drive and Hoyoung can't imagine he'd say anything that would make him regret.