Dead n Gone [DIP]

Bad Luck

Dead just like that.

The day before his twentieth birthday too. Shot down for accidentally going to the wrong place for his first job interview by Yentl Cartman, Eric Cartman and their crazy family. He'd tried to tell them he was sorry but they just wouldn't listen. That was the most terrified he'd felt his entire life knowing that the fat boy and his family were murderers on the loose!

He had to warn everyone but he just knew he couldn't- he was dead for fucks sake! This reminded him of the time he was squashed by Mecha-Streisand's foot after unsuccessfully asking her to stop destroying South Park when he was nine years old. It was kind of strange because Phillip Pirrip himself didn't really remember it since he'd somehow survived it. Though he'd had to stay in the hospital for about half a year after that incident.

It was like that memory had long ago been locked away- erased from his mind somehow. Being squashed had hurt like hell even if it had been quick. He still somehow remained happy though because now he was away from his sister and her husband. Although they were sometimes rough with him, he somehow was able to put up with it.

He didn't think of his sister as abusive even though she was. He'd thought that was how older siblings usually treated their younger siblings so he'd thought nothing of it. He didn't even know first hand how to recognize abuse since he'd pretty much lived through it and had gotten so used to it that it'd become normal. Anywho, maybe now he could actually start a new life! There was always something to look forward to after all!

Seeing others walk past him he waved and greeted them with a 'cheerio' but that didn't seem to work since most either ignored him or would give him a dirty look. Strange- but he still kept a smile on his face. He didn't mind that everyone hated him since in fact- everyone hated him. Even that one boy from hell he had a small crush on back in the fourth grade. He couldn't help but be amused by his past self.

Why would someone as good as him fall for the son of Satan? He shook off the thought and did his best to put a smile on his face as he thought of his one female crush Estella. Oh how marvelous she was- even if she wanted to play 'Smack the Blond Boy In the Head With a Large Log'.

No matter how much one would mistreat him, he always would try to be the bigger person. Two wrongs didn't make a right after all. No matter how much the others would bully him, he did his best not to let them get to him.

He'd even tried to help Damien ignore the others but that didn't really do much help since he'd ended up tearing up their playground. It had been a disaster because everyone had been very bored that day! Oh jolly! He could never forget that day!

In the past couple of days, the Frenchie had been trying to become a lifeguard since for some reason he wanted to save people's lives. Even if he didn't care much about his own life, he cared about other people's. That was his weakness- the fact that he cared for others. If he'd had friends and they'd been bullied, he would've been worried sick about them.

Thankfully the hell boy wasn't really his friend so he didn't really care a great deal about him. When he was a kid, he didn't really care too much about anyone else but right now if anyone seemed 'not okay' he'd go over to them and approach them.

At least- that's what happened before he died. This death ruined all chances he had of possibly becoming a lifeguard. He could still hopefully be a lifeguard in heaven though! All he had to do was make sure whoever didn't seem okay was okay no matter how annoying he might get!

The advice Mr Mackey had given him of being overly nice had carried with him his entire life. No matter how mean other people may be, he'd never retaliated. Sure in that way he got his wallet stolen but that had been replaceable so it wasn't too big of a deal.

When his wallet had been stolen, he'd simply headed up to him and had decided to make conversation with the guy. He'd been shoved aside and even threatened with a gun but that didn't stop him from being overly nice.

He'd never retaliate. Ever. Because why? It would only cause negative energy! Plus he wanted to be one of positive energy! Even in heaven! Sure people mistook him as British when he was French but he'd kindly correct them since it made no sense to snap at them.

Suddenly he heard footsteps from behind him- thinking it was God, he turned around only to come face to face with what looked like...Damien?! The hell boy?! What was he doing here? Had God allowed him permission into heaven? Was Satan around?

"Cheerio Damien! I do say, it's quite a nice surprise seeing you here!"