i opened my eyes and realized that i had accidentally trapped [name]'s body in between me and the back of the couch. i debating on getting up so she wouldn't know what happened, but she looked so pretty that i didn't want to wake her up.
i stared at her for a few minutes before i decided to actually get up so she could continue sleeping. i made the choice to take her to her bed and leave to go back to my apartment.
when i opened the door to my apartment, bokuto was awake on the couch. he looked up at me and saw the look on my face. "what's wrong, bro?" he asked. i just brushed it off.
"nothing, i just didn't sleep very good. i just need a shower," i told him. bokuto just shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention back to the tv in front of him.
i grabbed a towel from the linen closet and went to the bathroom. i stared at myself in the mirror. my hair was a mess and my eyes were slightly red and puffy from sleeping and crying from the movie last night.
i turned the water on and made sure it was plenty cold enough to wake me up. i stepped under the water after taking off my clothes and hissed from the water being cold. but i needed it, i needed something else to think about other than the fact that [name] wasn't mine.
did she want to be? does she have the same feelings as me? what if she was using daishou as a way to make me jealous? regardless if it was true or not, it sure did work.
i couldn't stop thinking about her. the way she was sleeping so peacefully made my dick jolt. the cold water was not helping my current situation. all i could picture was [name] sleeping next to me after we had a long night of fucking.
i finally put my body under the water, attempting to forget everything i was just thinking about. she drove me crazy without even realizing it. all i wanted was her. i wanted her at her good times, and i wanted to be the one to help her through her bad times. i wanted all of her.
i turned the water off and dried off, wrapping the towel around my waist. my hair was now in front of my face and i couldn't see, so i attempted to move some of it out of my face.
bokuto noticed me come out of the bathroom, the same look still on my face. "bro, you sure you're alright?" he asked me again, pausing the show he was watching to focus on me.
"bokuto, i'm fine. i don't want to talk about it right now," i told him, waving my hand.
"you kind of look like you do. i see it all over your face. is it something to do with [name]?"
i sighed and finally gave in and talked to him. "i don't know. i mean, it is but there's a bunch of stuff running through my mind about her. i want her to be mine, bo, but i get this feeling that she just wants us to stay friends. i feel like i should back off from her for a while but i don't know what to do."
"have you tried telling her how you feel?"
"that's a fat fucking no. i'm never going to tell her how i feel until i'm 100% sure she feels the same way. i don't know if she ever will."
bokuto looked at me and raised a brow. "dude, you're kuroo fucking tetsuro. you can get literally any girl you want."
"she's different. i don't think i could get her, even if i tried."
"are you scared? where's the kuroo charm you usually have? what happened to my roommate? are you sick or something?" bokuto asked, putting the back of his hand against my forehead. "you don't feel sick."
i shoved his hand off my forehead. "there's something totally different about her that the other girls don't have. i actually have feelings for her. i didn' have feelings for the other girls and just had them as a one-night-stand."
"so turn on your fucking kuroo charm and get your girl, dude! you aren't ever going to have a shot until if you sit here and keep acting scared. i love you, dude, but this is not my roommate."
"fuck you, bo, i'm fine. i don't need to do anything special. i'm just going to back off her for a while and change things up. that way i don't become more attached."
"kuroo," bokuto sighed, looking at me. "you know that's not going to work. you and i both know your feelings are not going to let that happen."
"shut up. i'll make do. if she invites us out to parties and stuff, i'll just tell her that i'm busy or something. i'll resist the urge to see her."
bokuto just rolled his eyes. "if that's what you want to do, then i'm not going to stop you. i'm just going to wonder where my roommate is. the one who brings girls home all the time because this is not him."
i slapped the back of his head and headed back to my room to attempt to figure out my own things. was i really going to be able to resist her? i mean, maybe bokuto was right. my feelings for her won't actually let me, will they? regardless, i needed to do something before i beat up every single guy that she goes out with.
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AUTHORS NOTE figured we needed a kuroo pov in this book. they're be more obviously but i like this one
